[Cynthia]

Cynthia woke from a dreamless night to the faint glow of morning
filtering through the curtains on her window.  She yawned and
stretched.  It took a moment for her to realize that she was not in her
own bed.  The memories of the previous day came flooding back.

At first, she forced them down.  She got out of bed, and dressed in the
clothes she had worn the previous day.  The enormity of what she had
done overwhelmed her.  She felt dizzy.  she reached out, felt the edge
of the bed, and gently lowered herself on to it.

> Letting herself into the room, she wasnât to surprised to see the woman
> sheâd come to see sitting up on the edge of the bed, head bowed in her
> hands, looking as if she wanted to just give up on life.
> 
> "You canât you know," Thina told her, her eyes met those of her old friend.
> "Myâkel would have wanted you to go on. He would have expected more from you."
> 
> "He didnât expect me to turn on him the way I did," the womanâs tone was
> bitter. "He didnât expect me to be the cause of his death."
> 
> "Myâkel would have understood had he known what was going on," Thina said,
> her voice calm. "He would forgive you and wanted you to forgive yourself. He
> loved you as if you were his real Aunt."
> 
> "As did I him," her voice broke. "I tried Thina. I tried to stop the thing
> that was controlling me, but it was just to strong. I failed and now Myâkel
> is dead. I failed him too."
> 
> "NO!!" the boyâs mother raised her voice in anger at the womanâs words. "It_
> wasnât_ your_ fault_ !! I will *never* believe that you are to blame for my
> son death. I know you too well my friend. Far too well, and I know you would
> have done everything you possibly could to have prevented what happened at
> any cost to yourself· if you could have·.*If* you could have. Myâkel would
> have known that too."
> 
> They stared at each other for a moment. Thina refusing to let the Warrenlady
> look away. Then after a moment she spoke.
> 
> "We have something to discuss about tonight," she told her friend and then
> found a seat near the bed and looked questionably up at her. "You made me a
> promise one time, and Iâm here to collect on it. If fact .. I demand you
> repay that promise!!"
> 
> "No Than !!" Cynthiaâs voice was in near panic. "You canât ask me to do
> that! You canât· not now!"
> 
> "I not only can," Myâkelâs mother didnât even blink. "But I am·"
 
"But the circumstances..." Cynthia protested.

Thina cut her off, "I need this.  You need this.  We all have to put
this behind us and begin to heal.  Can you think of a better way?"

"No," Cynthia admitted, "but what will Farr'in say?"

"Does it matter what Farr'in says?  We all need to do different things
to get over the pain in our hearts.  He'd decided that he needs space
and that's fine.  Now I'm talking about what you an I need."

Cynthia shook her head, "I can't believe you want me to light the pyre
with you."

"You once said that if anything ever happened to my children you'd be
here to help.  I want you to stick to your word," Thina insisted.

"But I never thought I'd be the cause."

"You weren't.  We had that discussion yesterday.  I need to do this to
show the Warren that I don't hold you responsible.  You need to do this
to show yourself that you recognize that.  Farr'in may fuss, but I'll
handle him."

Cynthia sighed deeply, "I'll be there like I promised."

"Good," Thina said reaching out and squeezing her shoulder, "Now get out
of here, you've got a warren to run."

Cynthia smiled, and dried her eyes, "Yes, ma'am."

***
[S'lomon]

S'lomon walked into Cynthia's room and was surprised.  Cynthia was
sitting on the edge of the bed lacing up her boots.  Thina was reminding
her what time to arrive for the funeral.

Thina saw him enter and said, "S'lomon, I won't keep you from your
patient."

"That's quite all right, you can stay if you'd like," the healer
replied.

"Oh, no.  I've got things I need to do," Thina turned to Cynthia, "I'll
see you later."

"Yes, you will."

Thina walked from the room.

S'lomon watched her go, and then turned back to Cynthia, "Where do you
think you're going?" he asked.

"I've got a warren to run.  I can't spend the rest of my life here."

"Did you sleep well last night?"

"Yes," Cynthia replied not mentioning her condition after waking up,
"like a rock."

S'lomon sighed, "As much as I'd like to keep you here a few days, I 
figure you'd sneak out the window as soon as I turned my back."

Cynthia looked over at the large window, "I'd fit, and it isn't too 
far to the ground."

"There are two things before you go," he pulled a bottle of amber 
liquid off the shelf and handed it to her, "This will help you sleep, 
if you need it.  Take no more than a spoonful.  Second, if you need 
someone to talk to, come find me.  I don't care when or where.  
Understood?"

Cynthia took the bottle, "I understand."

He watched her walk from the room, and wondered if the woman inside 
was really as tough a nut as the woman on the outside seemed to be.

***
[Cynthia]

Her first stop was her apartment for a quick bath and clean clothes. 
Her hair, she realized, was a mess.  It had been clumsily cut off.  It
was of uneven length.  She spent almost half an hour with a pair of
scissors trying to fix it, but her efforts seemed pointless.  She would
have to find some way to fix it.

Her temporary solution was a large, colorful scarf she found in a
drawer.  She carefully covered her remaining hair and tied the scarf on
the side.

If anyone thought the transition from long hair to scarf was unusual,
they didn't mention it as she walked from her apartment to her office. 
In fact, it seemed to Cynthia that people we unusually quiet around her
when they passed in the corridors.

Her desk was as neat as she had left it.  Brisse had certainly done well
at that.  In the center of it was a letter to Naomi about Farr'in. 
Brisse's script had improved lately.  The letters were well formed, and
Cynthia made a note to compliment her on her writing.  The letter itself
was simple and to the point.

Cynthia found a pen and signed the document.

***
[Later - after the funeral (?)]

Cynthia stood, leaning against the wall, listening.

>    When all was ready, the people, together once again with peace in their
> hearts headed for home. The young warriors walked proudly on ahead talking
> and boasting to on another of their of their accomplishments on the battle
> field--" 
> 
>   "No Dragons!" the youngest boy stuck out his bottom lip.
> 
>    "She's crying!  Look at her. Some dragon rider you'll be."
>   
>    "I'm am not crying.  Shut up!"
> 
>    "That was a good story, Ani.  Thank you."
> 
>    "Yes it was Ani. Now may we sing a song?"
> 
>    Ani taught them a song she remembered from her own childhood and they
> all sang together until their mothers came to take them to bed. They left,
> one by one, until Ani sat alone by the fireplace. 
 
The story and song had been wonderful, and now that she was alone,
Cynthia approached.  Ani looked up at the sound of approaching
footfalls.

"I'm glad to see you up," Ani said.

Cynthia pulled a chair over and sat next to the younger woman.  "I
wanted to thank you for saving me."

Ani shrugged, "You are strong.  You would have found its weakness and
broken free on you own.  I appreciate your gratitude, but it isn't
really necessary."

A cloud passed over Cynthia's eyes, "And what other things would have
happened before I broke free?"

"Do not blame yourself."

"I'm trying hard not to.  Ani, if you'd like to stay here a while, we'd
be happy to have you.  The children seem to like you already."

NRPG:
Cynthia will be in her office a good portion of the day if needed for
anything.

Barb: Excellent post.  it ain't easy having a big family.

Holly: Mark, eh?  Harrington perhaps?  He seems to inspire you quite a
bit.

Arlene: Is there anything I owe you?  In all the confusion in my life, I
can't remember.

Respectfully submitted,
Warrenlady Cynthia - Cleft Warren
Alton Reich
-- 
			Alton & Elizabeth Reich
			  alton.reich@snet.net
"Ani l'dodi, v'dodi li - I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine"
--The Song of Songs