[Late suppertime]

Amadith set down on the green before the Dining Hall and Tair'n slid weakly 
from his back.  He had spent the last several hours at a secluded glade he 
knew in the mountains, crying, while the chill air sapped the warmth from 
his body.  Amadith had finally convinced him to go back to the warren.

He walked into the Dining Hall.  Several conversations near the door died as 
he walked in.  He had the distinct impression they had been talking about 
him.  He was tempted to turn and run.

He was completely mystified by the way he was feeling.  He hadn't cried this 
hard for anything or anybody-- not when his mother died, not when Calette 
left him.  He didn't understand what had happened that Lara's death made him 
feel this way.

He squared his shoulders, trying to fight off the shivering, and walked to 
the serving area to get a plate of food.  Dammit, he was the Alpha 
Wingleader.  He had bedded the old lech just to get that position.  They 
were grown-ups.  They had known they were using each other.  Not that it 
hadn't been enjoyable.  Velara was a woman who had been sensuous and sexy to 
the end.

The end...  Oh, lord, no.  He couldn't cry more.  Surely he'd run out of tears.

He felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to see Realee watching him with 
concern.

"Tair'n, your lips are practically blue."  Her hands moved to his.  "And 
your hands are like ice."

He nodded, unable to speak between fighting the shivering and the tears.

"Sit.  I'll get you fixed up."

He sat, too tired to even fight.  People were staring at him.  He knew they 
were watching him for any sign of weakness.  He'd let Jayleigh and R'ven see 
him that way.  No one else would.

Realee set a plate of steaming food and an equally hot mug of coffee in 
front of him.

"Th-thank you."

"You're welcome, Tair'n.  Would you like some company while you eat?"

He wrapped his hands around the mug, letting the heat seep into him.  "N-no 
thank you."

She nodded her understanding.  "You need to be alone."  She turned and left.

He needed to be alone?  He was never not alone-- not even in a crowd.  Were 
there people who actually needed other people's presence?  Who actually just 
liked being around other people when they didn't need them for their own 
purposes?  He shook his head.  No.  He'd seen enough of life to know that 
wasn't how it worked.  It was use and be used.  And the best relationship 
was one where you both needed to use the other, like he and Velara had.

He ate his dinner in silence, slowly warming up, thinking about what to do 
now that Velara was dead.  Was his wingleadership secure?  Or should he try 
to make a move on Jayleigh to better secure it?  Did he stay with R'ven?  
Granted, the man was a good and thorough lover, but he might be a liability 
now.  Of course, he could hardly look so callous as to leave the man right away.

His machinations took his mind off the troubling feelings of loss at 
Velara's death for most of the meal.

******

The night was cold.  The bed was strangely empty with only the two of them.  
Their bodies naturally drifted together.

Tair'n woke in the middle of the night, holding R'ven.  He could tell by 
R'ven's breathing that he was awake as well.  Suddenly, R'ven sobbed.

Tair'n drew the man closer, his lips trying to silence those sobs.  
Wordlessly, their bodies moved together.  In the darkness, they made love, 
feeling the strange absence of the woman that was usually there beside them, 
sharing, if not in their joining, then in their carresses.

******

Afterward, Tair'n lay awake for some time, then arose, dressed, and went out 
to the dragon chamber to be with Amadith.

He had started to drift back to sleep when Amadith started.  <There is a 
dragon outside the wall.  She is hungry and tired and her rider is ill!  Hurry!>

Tair'n hurriedly climbed onto his dragon and the two headed for the gates.  
He slid off his dragon and ran to the figures collapsed there.

It was a girl in her late teens and a hatchling dragon, not yet flying.

Several other dragons were landing nearby as he checked out the girl.  Her 
skin was fiery hot to the touch.

"She needs taken to the Medical Center at once," he instructed the person 
behind him, not looking to see who it was.  "And the dragon needs fed.  Get 
some meat from the kitchens, quickly."

The girl was quickly taken away, though the opalescent hatchling keened 
weakly at their separation.

"It's okay, little one," Tair'n crooned softly, gently petting it.  
<Amadith, can you talk to the dragon?>

<Of course I can.  What sort of question is that?>

<Sorry.  Tell her that her rider is being taken care of and that food is 
coming for her.>

<I already have,> Amadith responded, cuddling closer to the hatchling, his 
wing stretching out over her.  The hatchling calmed slightly at his presence.

<Thank you.>

They waited a few minutes, then the meat arrived.  Tair'n sat and slowly fed 
the hatchling, being careful not to overfeed it.

<Okay, let's get this little one inside, Amadith.  Can you get her to follow 
us to the hatchling barracks?>

<Done.  But she is worried about her rider and doesn't want to be left alone.>

Tair'n sighed.  <Tell her I'll stay with her for the rest of the night.>  
His bed hadn't felt all that natural anyway.

Respectfully submitted,
 Lynette R. F. Cowper
  Tair'n and Amadith


---
|   Lynette R. F. Cowper  *  Official INWO Rules NetRep & Goddess    |
| http://www.io.com/~lcowper  *  lcowper@io.com  *  lcowper@indy.net |
|  "If people never did silly things, nothing intelligent would ever |
|                   get done."  -- L. Wittgenstein                   |