"Because right now my thoughts are so confused," she admitted slowly.  "I 
don't know what I want anymore.  I used to think I did.  A man to love me 
and stand beside me.  Someone to help with the raising of a child I might 
have, but I had to learn the hard way the that just because a man fathers a 
child, it doesn't mean he'll be a good father.  Just look at Da'ntray. 
Jadain doesn't even know him, though they live in the same Warren, and now 
with me being the Warrenlady...  I don't know about another child.  I'm not 
saying yes or no, I just want to be sure it's for the right reason's this 
time.  That he or she will be wanted and loved by both of us."

Tair'n thought about the boy that was either son or brother to him, most 
likely son.  He had ignored the boy, much as his father had ignored him.  
He certainly had never been a good father.  In that respect, Gerald would 
be better for her.

He listened to her talk about her past, about Troy's mating flight, but his 
mind was on Cal'an.  <I don't even know anything about him,> he thought 
guiltily.

She was quiet for a few minutes then turned to him.  "You asked if I wanted 
us to become mates?  At one time had you asked me that I would have jumped 
at the chance and said yes right away."

"But not now?" he questioned slowly.

She turned to him then and let her hand caress the side of his face.  
"Tair'n, I would be more than willing to be your mate, but I don't know if 
you're ready for or want that.  Then there's this thing with Gerald, who I 
still want to be with.  There's also R'ven, who I know you still want to be 
with.  Maybe now isn't the time to be making these kind of decisions.  
Let's just enjoy each other when we can and if things are working out 
between us then we can talk about it again."

"So where does that leave me for now?" he asked, teasing her, "as your 
part-time lover and boy toy?"

"I don't need a part-time lover, I could get that anywhere," she answered, 
obviously missing the teasing in his tone.  "I need *you* as my friend, my 
lover, someone I can turn to for advice.  All of those things and more.  I 
want you in my life as much as you're able to be there.  I just don't want 
to lose you by starting to make demands on you that could drive us apart. 
But I'm sure once people start seeing us together they'll assume we're 
mates.  I wouldn't mind," she said so softly he could barely hear her say 
the words.

He nodded his head after hearing her words.  Then there was that 
possibility, some time in the future.  But right now, it was all too 
complicated.

"I also need you to hurry up and get well so you can take over your Wing 
again.  While your second is okay at running them thought their drills, 
myself, I'll be happier to have you back where you belong.  So would the 
other riders in Alpha.

"But as for as you being my boy-toy... you're definitely no boy..." she 
whispered as she moved to lay on the bed facing him.  Her hands and lips 
began to gently, re-explore his body.  "But I'll play with you if you play 
with me..."

He chuckled and cuddled up next to her.  "Tomorrow, maybe, love."

******

He listened to her sleeping.  His sleep schedule was screwed up and he 
couldn't go back to sleep.  Carefully, he slipped out of the bed and padded 
into the kitchen.  There was a light coming from the spare room.  He looked 
at it puzzled for a moment, then realised.

He tiptoed to the door and glanced in.  R'ven lay on the bed, usually 
reserved for times when one of the former triad was ill, sound asleep.  
Tair'n walked in and covered his mate with the blankets and gently kissed him.

******

[Alpha Wingleader's office]

He awoke with a start at the knock on his door.  He straightened up, 
pulling papers off his face.  He'd gone to the office to work, unable to 
sleep, and had drifted to sleep.  He wondered what R'ven and Jayleigh were 
up to right about now, waking without their lover, in the apartment together.

Maybe it was one of them now.

"Come in!"

The door opened and a young man he didn't recognise stepped through.  "Are 
you Alpha Wingleader Tair'n?"

"Yes, I am."

"I'm D'zall of Marrid.  I have a letter for you."

Tair'n accepted the missive, glanced at the young man in concern and read 
it quickly, then went back and reread it.  He swallowed hard.  "Yes.  Thank 
you.  Inform Waylene that I'm appreciative of her quick response."

"Yes, sir."

The young man turned and left.

<Amadith...>

<I'm on my way.>

******

[Medical center]

Calette glanced up as he walked in.  "Tair'n, what brings you here so 
bright and early?"

He answered by handing her the paper.  She read it, then quirked her 
eyebrows up.  "When was the last time you were tested?"

"Um... a month ago, I think."

She nodded.  "Considering you're an assymptomatic carrier, you probably 
ought to get tested more often.  I assume you have no symptoms?"

He shook his head.

"Okay.  Room three.  I'll get a needle and we'll run the test.  Shouldn't 
take ten minutes."

******

Ten minutes later when she walked in with the bottle of familiar pills, he 
shook his head ruefully.

"I believe you know the routine?"

"One pill, four times a day until gone, which should be ten days, then come 
in and test again."

"You got it, lover.  So, how many people are you going to have to tell?"

He rolled his eyes.  "Jayleigh, R'ven, W'roan... Minali...  I think that's it."

"Short list.  You've been remarkably quiet this month," she said with a grin.

"Yeah, but you don't know how many people *they're* going to have to tell.  
And R'ven and I have to figure out who Lara might  have slept with, for 
that matter."

She chuckled.  "There is that.  Well, dear, I suggest you start telling."

<Amadith...>

<I have already informed the dragons whose riders you have mated.>

<Gee, thanks.  I thought I would tell them in person.>

<Ah, well.>

Tair'n sighed.  "I think my dragon already did it, but I'll make sure the 
message didn't get garbled in translation."

He walked out, nearly bowling over R'ven.  "Good morning," he said, looking 
sheepishly at his mate.

"Gonolis?" R'ven asked.

"Yup."

"Just wanted to make sure.  This is sure going to be a mess this time."

"When is it ever NOT a mess?" Tair'n asked his lover.

R'ven just chuckled, and rolled up his sleeve as he walked into roon 3.

Respectfully submitted,
 Lynette R. F. Cowper
  Tair'n and Amadith

NRPG: All, in case you haven't figured it out, the message from Waylene was 
informing Tair'n that she'd been found to have gonolis, a 
sexually-transmitted disease, which she presumably got from Tair'n.  So... 
;>  Anyhow, it is curable.  It just means a lot of sleuth work for them to 
track down who all might have been infected.

---
|   Lynette R. F. Cowper  *  Official INWO Rules NetRep & Goddess    |
| http://www.io.com/~lcowper  *  lcowper@io.com  *  lcowper@indy.net |
|  "If people never did silly things, nothing intelligent would ever |
|                   get done."  -- L. Wittgenstein                   |