[DL-D] Accepting One's Fears...Then Dealing With Them
by
carolyn matthews <carolyn@reallink.com>

(Jayleigh)

He awoke from a very pleasant dream involving Jayleigh, R'ven, 
himself and Gerald... and a quart of honey.  Jayleigh was still 
asleep in his arms.  His brushing her hair from his face, however, 
woke her up.

She kissed him gently and felt his body quiver as she pressed 
herself closer to his warm flesh, one leg sliding between his, 
while wishing it were the other way. With him between hers.  
"Good morning, lover," she said , her voice sounding slightly 
breathless, even to herself. Her hand began a slow exploration 
over the well defined muscles of his chest, lightly raking her 
finger nails over his male nipples, and then she was smiling 
when she saw his reaction.

Just as she was raising her lips for another of his totally 
devastating kisses, there was a light knock on the door, then 
it opened and R'ven walked in.  He seemed not at all surprised 
to see them together, but Jayleigh could have groaned at his 
lack of timing.

"I brought you some clean clothes to wear when they release 
you," he explained.

"Thanks."

R'ven started to turn to leave.

"Hey, wait.  Don't I even get a kiss?" Tair'n asked.

R'ven turned, his eyes flickering to Jayleigh.  Then he stepped 
over and kissed Tair'n.  When he would have pulled back, Tair'n 
slipped his hand around him and pulled him tighter into the kiss.  
R'ven slowly lost himself in the kiss.

Finally, they pulled apart and R'ven cleared his throat.  "We'll 
talk later, okay, Tai?  I've got to go."

When R'ven closed the door behind him, Jayleigh saw Tair'n turn 
to face her, his amber eyes searching her face for some sign of 
reaction.

"Jayleigh," he said quietly, "I want you to understand just 
exactly what you agreed to.  Do you really think you can handle 
R'ven and I still being lovers?  I don't want you to answer right 
away.  I want you to think about it.  I want you to picture 
walking into my bedroom or my office and finding R'ven and I 
together, making love.  I want you to think about how that makes 
you feel.  Because if it's going to be a problem, I want to know 
now."

She was about to say something when the door opened again. Did 
everybody know they were here together? Were they each trying to 
kept the two of them from talking, from trying to work things out? 
Or did it just happen that everyone seemed to have need of Tair'n 
all at the same time. 

"Good morning," They both turned to look as Calette came striding 
into the room. Jayleigh was grateful the woman made no comment 
about her being here. She had known about Tair'n's relationship 
with her and was afraid the woman might be upset to find her here 
next to him on the bed. She didn't know much about their break up, 
so had no way of knowing if the other woman still had some 
feeling's for him or not.

 "I'm here to examine you to make sure you're well enough to be 
released.  If you'll excuse us, warrenlady."

Jayleigh quickly excused herself, though she had wanted to stay. 
She told Tair'n that she would be going to the dining hall to get 
something to eat and then on to her office. While she was there 
she planed on doing some serious thinking, like he had suggested.

"Troy will know where to find me," She said when she reached the 
door. "If you need me for anything later."

His only reply was the slow wicked smile that spread across his 
handsome face. Jayleigh hurried through the door, her mouth 
suddenly dry and her breathing suddenly uneven as if she could 
feel even now, their need for each other. 

It was going to be a long... day.

*******
(Ja'ks)

He was sitting quietly alone at the families table, thinking 
about the strange meeting he'd had yesterday when he'd run into 
both the Tiger and the Kitten. He had the feeling that they had 
been talking, and bet most of their conversation had been about 
him...

He was glad to see that their friendship was still strong and 
that his winning Maeve, hadn't come between them... But something 
about the way they both had looked at him, and the way they were 
acting, made him think that there could be trouble in the making. 
Trouble for him. What had they been talking about? Was he just 
being paranoid? Or did they have something planned that maybe he 
should know about.

Sitting there trying to come up with something, his thoughts were
interrupted when he heard a voice behind him. He turned to see 
Maeve standing just to his left. 

"Ja'ks?" she said, quietly.

"Hmm?" 

"I said some things yesterday that I'm not sure I meant," she 
tried.

"You don't mean yesterday morning wasn't real, do you?" he asked, 
looking surprised. After the night of loving they had shared he 
had been totally blown away when she had gone running from the 
room. It wasn't suppost to have ended like that. Not after she 
had admitted to loving him. 

"I meant every word I said, Ja'ks.  Except for Rezsia.  You're 
the first person who's been able to make me feel like this in so 
long, I don't know what to say."

"Then don't say anything," Ja'ks said, covering her mouth with a 
firm kiss as she tried to object. It was a brief kiss but by no 
means light. In it he let her know just how she affected him, and 
told her that he knew how he affected her.

He stood up then taking her hand and led her out of the dining 
hall and out onto the green where Sprarroe was holding court with 
some of the younger Dragons. 

<<Buddy, how 'bout taking Krith's rider and I up to the cabin on 
Tlakler Moutain,>> he asked, wanting to spend some time alone 
with her. <<And telling Krith where we're going. I'll keep her 
rider safe.>>

The mountain cabin was an old empty one he had come across while 
out on patrol some years ago. He had spent a lot of time up there 
after his break up with *that blonde* . Tearing out the rotten 
places in the wood frame and flooring  and then fixing it up for 
when he wanted to spend time alone and think.

He'd never brought anyone up there until now.

"Hey!!" Maeve laughed when he had hoisted her up and placed her 
n front of him on the brown. "Where do you think you're taking
 me?"

Pulling her tighter into his embrace, Ja'ks just laughed as he 
Sprarroe the order to lift off. Seconds later they teleported 
into the air above one of the most beautiful places Ja'ks had 
ever seen. His gray eyes were watching her face, and was pleased 
with the smile that lit up her beautiful face as she looked 
around.

"Why Ja'ks, it's so pretty here," she gasped as she looked around. 
"How ever did you find it?"

"Pure luck," he laughed as the brown landed not far from the 
cabin's front door. "Welcome to my get way," he smiled wickedly 
as he helped her dismount, then led her inside.

His mouth was on hers before the door had shut all the way. Where 
he had thought that he might have to coax a response out of her... 
once she got over being mad at him for his trick... she surprised 
him by willingly melting into his arms, returning his kisses with 
a wild fever all of her own.

He made love to her with a gentleness that their dragon inspired 
mating had not allowed for the first time, and by the time he 
finally brought her to the point of no return, she knew she had 
been very thoroughly loved by him.
  
Afterwards he had held her when she began to cry, and he began to 
realize what he had done to her. He knew she loved and wanted him 
and he had used that knowledge to win her to his bed. But he had 
forgotten to take into account how much her friendship with Rezsia, 
had also meant to her.

By the time she had calmed down enough to finally ask him to take 
her back to the Warren, he could only pray that his selfishness 
wouldn't be the cause for the two women's friendship to end. 
Somehow he would have to make it up to both of them.

It was lunch time when she and Ja'ks finally parted company. He 
hadn't wanted to leave her on her own until he was sure that she 
was all right, but then realized that she was hurting because of 
him... so when she asked him to go... he went.

To find Rezsia.

He had to explain. He had to tell her that Maeve was in no way to 
blame for what had happened.

<Real good, my human...> came the sarcastic thought form the brown. 
<Why don't you dig your knife into the lady's back just a little 
bit deeper. You human's just don't stop to think things out when 
you should and think things out to much when you shouldn't!! No 
wonder us dragon's are so much smarted.>

<<What are you talking about?>> Ja'ks frowned.

<This idea you have of running off and telling Jezebel's rider 
that you mated with Krith's rider, and while you both enjoyed it 
very much... It made her cry afterwards... Think about how 
Jezebel's rider is going to feel when she finds out. Jez told me 
that her rider wants to mate with you as well.>>

Hell!!! 

<<Take me to the lake Buddy,>> Ja'ks growled, angry at himself but 
knowing his dragon's words made sense. <<I think maybe if I soar 
this big head of mine, I might start thinking again.>>

-----------------

He couldn't believe his eyes as Sprarroe landed next to the Queen 
Jezebel. <<Why didn't you tell me she was here?>>

<You didn't ask!!> came the dragon's reply.

<<Weren't you the one who told me not long ago not to twist the 
knife in deeper?>> Ja'ks frowned.

<That doesn't mean you can't talk to her.>

As he dismounted from the brown, the rider walked over to a tree 
where he could get a good look at the woman floating on her back 
in the water. He wondered just how long she had been out there, 
when he saw her turn and start swimming in towards shore. 

He could tell the moment she knew she wasn't alone any longer


Rezsia could tell Ja'ks saw her; he was staring straight at her.  
And, if the light wasn't playing any tricks, he was grinning! She 
grumbled under her breath, calling him everything she would never 
dare say to his face.

She swam up to the bank where she could just feel the bottom but 
the water still covered her, and called, "Ja'ks! What are you 
doing here?"

His grin widened. "I should be asking you the same." Knowing that 
as a Queen rider she knew she shouldn't be out here alone anyway. 
But Rezsia being Rezsia and able to take care of herself, she was 
allowed a little more leeway than say Maeve would be, but still... 
she really should have had an escort.

"I'm swimming," she replied crossly.  "What about you?"

"Just came here to think," he replied, shrugging.

"About what?"

His gaze became hooded. "Just some personal problems." You, me, 
Maeve... he thought to himself, but didn't want to *twist the 
Knife* as Sprarroe so eloquently put it. He would just have to 
deal with it on his own, and pray that neither of the women got 
hurt any worse in the process. 

Which meant Maeve, Rezsia thought bitterly.  Not wanting to stay 
near him, she said, "Could you throw me my clothes?"  

Ja'ks grinned evilly at that and lean against a nearby tree. 
"Come get them!!" 

Rezsia called again, "Please throw me my clothes," 

He could tell she was steaming and thanked the Gods that she 
didn't have one of her throwing knives with her in the water. 
He'd seen just how good she was with those things and was glad 
he would be spared the demonstration. He'd just have to watch 
out in the future.



and her eyes began to twinkle evilly.  "Ja'ks, get me my clothes 
or I'll get you!" she shouted.

"Promises, promises," His grin widen and he just stood there, 
while she finally got up the nerve to stomped out of the water. 
Completely naked.  He just gaped as she strode up the beach, his 
smile gone now.  He was also...blushing? He hadn't really though 
she'd have the nerve to do it. Not with him standing here.

She did not stop, however, until she was nose to nose with him.  
"Next time," she stated clearly, her face and body only inches 
away, "when I say please, I would like to get my clothes. 
Understood?"

Gods!! She was beautiful. He thought was his eyes watched her 
retreat behind one of the larger trees in the area. Never in his 
wildest dream could he have imagined her body looking like that 
unclothed. Despite the scars that marred her flesh in different 
places, and he wondered if the men who had raped her gave her 
those or the man she had called father.

Then he remembered he had wanted to talk to Jayleigh about getting 
someone to help Rezsia learn to deal with her past, and the 
memories of that day that still haunted her. 

 "So," she said, propping herself on the tree with her elbow, 
next to him, "if you don't mind my asking, what's your problem?"

"Were that easily solved," he sighed. "I would be only to glad to 
share them with you...but alas... it's a fools thing that I did 
without stopping to think. And as a fool... I shall have to learn 
myself how to fix the wrong I have done."

"You're not making any sense at all Ja'ks," Rezsia grinned in 
confusion.

"Well if I ever do, I'm sure you'll be one of the first to know 
about it," he dipped low in a self mocking bow. "My lady Tiger, 
Your humble escort a waits his duty to see you back to the 
Warren Fair."

***** 
(Jayleigh)

She couldn't get through the morning fast enough, and thanked 
the Gods or who ever had decided not to have any problems this 
morning. Though later in the afternoon she had an appointment 
to see Lord Gossimor and had agreed to go see him in his own 
domain, which meant she would have to ask Gerald to escort her 
to Triylar.

After last night she knew she would have to break it off with him, 
but she was feeling guilty about it. The young bard had been the 
one to open her heart again. To make her see that there was a 
whole world out there that she had been missing. He had awaken 
her body with his wonderful and skillful love making showing her 
that she was a very passionate woman and she would always thank 
him for that. 

 If it things had been somehow different or if she had met him 
before her love for Tair'n had developed, they might have had a 
chance.  

<<Troy love,>> she sent the message to her Queen. <<Would you be 
a dear and ask if Random and his rider are available to escort 
you on a trip to Triylar to see Lord Gossimor after lunch?>> 

One more report to go over and she could go by the dinning hall 
and pick up the lunch she was having prepared for her meal with 
Tair'n. 

She was suppost to give him and answer about the questions he had 
asked her earlier dealing with her being able to accept his love 
for R'ven. She still hadn't come up with an answer. She couldn't 
do what Velara had done. It wasn't in her nature. But in all 
fairness she couldn't stop Tair'n and demand he go against his. 

If she did, she knew it would drive him away from her. And she 
wouldn't be able to bare that. Not when they had finally admitted 
they cared about each other. She prayed that he would give her 
time.

<Random's rider asks if you can find someone else to escort you 
on this trip,> Viktroy answered her a minute later. 

<<Did he say why?>> Jayleigh asked frowning. Could he be sick or 
not feeling well. Or... could he have heard something about her 
spending the night in Tair'n's room at the med center and be 
upset about that.

<He knows.>

<<Do you know where he is?>> she asked.

<I know.>

<<Good then meet me out side.>> Jayleigh said getting up from 
behind her desk and walking towards the door leading out onto 
the green. <<I need you to take me there.>>

-----------------------------------------

(Nrpg: Allen :):) Play it the way you think it should go and 
I'll follow your lead....is he going to be mad...or feeling 
guilty :) After all...he DID do it with someone else...Jayleigh 
only thought about it...(A lot!!!!!)

Lyn: I'll do something more with the *lunch* later...unless you 
beat me to it. But don't rush it :)

Paula: Next post...I PROMISE!!!!!

****Submitted by: *****

Barbara (a.k.a.

Warrenlady Jayleigh & Viktroy
Beta Wingleader Ja'ks & Sprarroe

Daere Warren

Return to Posts for Jan 1997