[Day of Marialla's arrival (Day 4), morning]

Tair'n awoke feeling much more alive than he had in weeks.  He still had
troubles, but somehow he felt better able to cope now.  R'ven was already
up and getting dressed.

"Good morning," his mate greeted.  "Coming to the Dining Hall for
breakfast?"

Tair'n stretched.  "No.  I think I'll stay here and actually shave and get
myself presentable, then go to the Med Center and see about Cal'an."

"Okay.  There's a couple muffins in the kitchen.  I think they're still
edible."

"I'll find something."

R'ven returned to the bed and kissed him sensuously.  "I'll see you
tonight, if not before.  Try to keep positive about Cal'an."

"I'll try."

******

Cal'an was still under, but Herin's report was looking better.  Of course,
it had looked better before.

"We want to try to give him another transfusion of your blood.  We think
that might bring him around."

Tair'n nodded.  "Anything I can do for him, I'll do."

******

It was several hours into the day when Shaidin stepped into the room.

"How is he?"

"Better, they say."

She nodded and took a chair, studying him.  "You look a sight better
yourself."

Tair'n laughed.  "I suppose I had gotten rather shabby in the last couple
days."

"So what changed?" the mind-healer asked.

Tair'n considered.  "I don't know.  I just decided I was going to beat my
past, that I'd had enough."

She nodded.  "You're a very strong person.  You just needed to find your
strength again.  Is there anything you feel you need to talk about?"

"Kids.  Babies," he answered.

"What about them?" she asked.

"You know.  What I mentioned the other day.  Jayleigh wants them.  With
me."

She nodded.  "And do you?"

"I don't know."  His eyes fell on his son's bruised face.  "There's so
much pain."

"There's also joy," she answered.  "And, in spite of your difficulties, I
think you know that."

He considered that.  He thought about the times he'd spent, brief and
fleeting, talking with his son.  And for all that they had been few, they
had been times of quiet and peace in the maelstrom of his life.  Times
when he somehow realised that, despite it all, because of him there was
someone in the world who was a shining, glorious person, a beacon of
sunshine in times of darkness.  And he couldn't regret those foolish
months with Calette that had produced that light.  "I do, yes."

"The question you have to ask yourself is, does the joy outweigh the pain.
It might not right now.  But give yourself time.  Don't reject the idea
outright, right now.  Jayleigh's family doesn't appear to have this
particular form of haemophilia, so you needn't worry about that."

"And what about R'ven?  I can't leave him."

"Have you asked her if she wants you to?" Shaidin asked.

He shook his head.  "We haven't spoken since then."

"Ask her."  The healer stood.  "I'll be around a few more days, then I'll
be going home.  You're outgrowing the need for me."

He stood and extended his hand.  "I've never thanked you properly.  I'm
not sure I could have made it without you.  Thank you."

"You're welcome, Tair'n."

He watched her walk out, then called to his dragon.  <Amadith, where is
Viktroy's rider?>

<She isn't here right now.  She and Flerrion's rider went to Trylar.>

<Flerrion?  I don't think I know him.>

<He is new here.  He is helping Banta's rider to train the searchlings and
hatchlings,> Amadith explained.

<I see.  Sounds like I've missed a bit.>

<Oh, yes.  Ammie's rider doesn't seem to get along very well with him.
She is always angry at him, it seems.  Oh, and Liupeth is back.>

<Liupeth?  Gods, C'nis is back?  Lock up the valuables!> Tair'n joked.

<I don't understand.>

<Never mind.  It's a human thing.>

******

He awoke suddenly to the feel of his dragon chuckling and the distant
sound of an angry roar.

<What is it, Amadith?  How long have I been asleep?>

<You've been asleep for several hours.  It is now dark out.>

<Gods.  My sleep schedule's all screwed up.  What was that roar about?
What's so funny?>

<Zenith.  Viktroy and Flerrion decided to play a trick on him for all the
lies he has been telling Flerrion about her.  They had to warn me, since
it involved our dragon cave.>

<What did they do?>

Amadith explained and then showed Tair'n a picture of Zenith right now.
Tair'n chuckled.  <Poor Zenith.  Poor R'ven, for that matter.  But, uh,
where were you planning on sleeping tonight?>

His dragon stopped laughing.  <Huh?  Hm.  I, uh, hadn't really... thought
about it...>

Tair'n shook his head and stood, stretching.  <Well, come get me.  I want
to go talk to Viktroy's rider.>

<She is asleep.>

<I'll wake her up.  And if you're really nice, maybe Viktroy will let you
stay with her in exchange for you letting her mess up your bed.>

******

He left his dragon to deal with Viktroy and slipped into Jayleigh's
apartment, padding quietly down the hall to her room.

She was framed in the soft light of the oil lamp at her bedside, lying
alone in her bed, clutching her pillow to her like a lover.  He realised
then how much he had missed her the past few days.

He walked softly to her bed and sat on the edge, running his finger along
her jawline.  "Leigh?"  She started awake and he put a finger to her lips.
"Shh.  It's me.  Tair'n.  I wanted to talk to you."

She sat up.  "Is everything all right?  Cal'an--"

"Cal'an's fine.  Well, not fine, but getting better.  I just wanted to
talk to you about... about what we discussed the other day."

She blinked.  "You mean about children?  You needed to talk about it right
now?"

"I guess we can talk about it later..." he said.  "I was just awake and--"

"No, no.  That's fine.  I'm just still a little muddled.  And it has been
several days since I've seen you."

"I'm sorry.  I just wanted to know...  Leigh, are you expecting me to
leave R'ven if we have children together?"

She reached out and took his hand.  "No, love.  I wouldn't ask you to give
him up."

"You're sure?"

"I'm sure."

He sighed.  "The last several days have been hell, worrying about Cal'an
and the hearing and all.  And yet, for all the heartache, he's been... a
light in the darkness for me."  He paused, formulating his thoughts.  "I
talked to Shaidin about it today and spent all afternoon thinking about
it."

"I'm not asking you to decide right away.  I--"

"Shh."  He put his finger to her lips.  "I know you're not.  But I have
decided."

She met his eyes, emotions warring on her face, but said nothing.

"I don't know if I'll make a very good father, Leigh, but... I want to...
give you children."

Respectfully submitted,
 Lynette R. F. Cowper
  Tair'n and Amadith

NRPG: Allen, John, Dianne, one of these ages, I'm going to get around to
Tair'n meeting up with the new PCs.  It just hasn't been right yet.

 # Lynette R. F. Cowper        o       INWO Line Editor & Goddess      #
 # lcowper@indy.net             <><     Circle of Janus Secretary      #
 # lcowper@io.com                  o       Captain, USS CALYPSO        #
 # http://www.io.com/~lcowper/  ><>     Warrenlady, Telnor Warren      #