What Else Could I Have Done??

Something about the man scared her, but as he hadn't made any move to touch
her, Shawnee followed him inside the med center when he'd told her there was
someone he wanted her to see. 

Doshy had caught the fright in her riders mind and sent a message to Fayloth
not knowing if his rider was needed or not, but the Teal didn't like the
feelings coming from her rider and Fayloth's human would know what to do.

..............

"She'll be fine.  Now I have other patients to see to."  She shut the door
behind her.

Shawnee stood in astonishment, looking down at the distinctive woman lying
on the bed.

"Who is she?" Shawnee asked the man Doshy told her was named Ed'wen.

"I don't know who she is, but she would've been toast if Hesperus and I
hadn't rescued her!  This is all your fault!" he declared through gritted
teeth. "If you'd just checked to make sure there were no survivors left on 
those ships, she wouldn't have nearly died.  You set those ships on fire
while she was still onboard.  Your carelessness almost killed her!" he spat
out, his face merely inches from hers.  "If you're going to be a Wingleader,
you'd better never make such a serious mistake again!  I just hope Hesperus
can save my butt if Tara *is* foolish enough to make you Wingleader."  His 
spittle spattered her face as he pressed her back against the wall, his fury
almost a tangible thing.  His eyes bored into hers.

She stepped back as far as she could until a wall blocked her escape.
Suddenly the fear she had felt before was back, but before he could say
anything more, the man was jerked away from her and then next thing Shawnee
saw was him falling to the ground. A angry Saul standing over him with hands
bunched into fist.

"What the HELL do you think you're doing!" he growled at the man.

Shawnee moved so that Saul stood between them, just in case the man got up
again and tried something. She didn't want to be in Saul's way if it came to
that.

"Who the hell are you?" the man shouted back getting to his feet as his hand
came up to rub his jaw where Saul had hit him.

Saul ignored the question. "You don't treat a woman that way! Especially not
THIS woman! Do you understand !"

"What's so special about her? She nearly got this girl killed out there with
her damn fool stunt," the man growled. "Some find Wingleader she is. We'll
all be dead if we have to follow her."

"Damn fool stunt!" Saul said in disbelief. "Do you know how many lives she
saved! Would you rather she did nothing and just let the wing fall apart?
Cause that's exactly what would have happened had she not done something!
You should be thanking her."

"Thanking her! Look at the girl on the bed and tell me if you think she'll
be thanking her when she wakes up!"

"At lease she is alive thanks to Shawnee getting the riders out there!" Saul
yelled back. "Think of how many others would be dead if she hadn't taken
charge and got you the help you needed in the nick of time."

Shawnee moved around to the side of Saul. 

"I never asked to be Wingleader," she told him in a shaken angry voice. "But
when no one else stepped forward to lead them out to where you needed them
what was I suppose to do? Sit back and let all of you die?"

"You should have checked it out to see if anyone was still on board the ship!"

"That might have been a nice idea if we weren't fighting for our lives
against both the storm and the wraiths! Extra time might have been real
nice.. but we didn't have it, and over half the dragons were nearly out of
flame as it was. I did the only thing I could think of and it worked," she
told him, daring him to deny it. "And you know what? I would do it all over
again if we were fighting against the same odds. I'm sorry the girl got
hurt, but she is alive. That's more then we could say if I hadn't pulled my
*damn fool stunt*."

Saul looked over at Shawnee and grinned, "Maybe you don't need me around
after all, woman."

"Well take about that later," she said sternly, but turned so only he could
see how gratefully she was that he had shown up when she had needed him.

"Oh, I love a woman who can take care of herself.." he murmured catching her
eye.

She nearly blushed at his words but managed to get herself under control and
turned back to the other man. 

"As I said I am not a Wingleader.. just a rider like you, so you likely
won't ever have to worry about me leading the Wing once the regular
Wingleader is healthy again," she told him. "As I said I'm sorry the girl
got hurt... I wish it could have happened differently more then you will
ever know, but the healer did say she would be fine."

[[ comments Dana... I'm sure he'll have one or two :)... go get'em girl.]]

"I did what I felt was right at the time," she told him again then, "Now if
you will excuse us my children will be wondering where we are. Good day."

She brushed by him and out of the room, Saul walking beside her. 

"You will never know how glad I was to see you back there," she murmured and
placed her hand on his arm, which he held up for her. 

"I'd deck anyone who laid a hand on you .." he promised.

"I do believe Ed'wen knows that now," she chuckled, how that the scare was
over. At lease for the time being. . "I wonder how long it'll be before word
of it gets around?"

They walked along for a bit then she turned to look up at him. "Saul... what
if others think the same way Ed'wen does... That I shouldn't have been out
there leading the Wing? I mean it's not like I'll be doing it again.. but..."

"You did the right thing, Shawnee. And you were great. Don't like small
minds try to tear you down. I've no doubt Liseth and Tara will feel the same
way I do.."

"I hope so," she sighed. "What say we get something to eat now and then go
back to help with the clean up?"

He nodded, and pulled her into his arms, "Good cause I'm starving," his lips
covered hers taking in their deliciousness.

"Food now Lover.. dessert later," she grinned, enjoying his kisses. Then she
frowned..."I just remembered I was suppose to be on my way to see Tara
before I got waylaid. Can I meet you in the dining hall in a little bit?"

He nodded unhappily. "But I'll be expecting double deserts for later .."

"You got it," she promised and they parted ways.

Doubts came to her as she walked towards the office where Tara was waiting
for her. Could Ed'wen have been right? Could she have prevented the girl
from getting harmed?
How could she have known? Time had been so short and burning the ship was
the only way she could think of to kill off as many of the wraiths as they
could before the dragons were out of flame....

Her only thoughts at the time had been to keep them from getting to the
Warren. Could she have done something different and have it end up the same way?

At lease she wouldn't have to worry about it much longer. After all she
wasn't the Wingleader and he would soon be back leading them then Ed'wen
wouldn't have to worry about her pulling anymore Damn stunts.

Tara called out for her to enter and was seated behind a desk when Shawnee
let herself into the office.

"Doshy said you wanted to see me?"

============================= 

Much thanks goes out to Kris who helped write this post....and to Dana for
the idea :)

Shawnee will be doubting herself.. Wondering if things could have gone
differently. Hell she's not a Wingleader... just a dragonrider.. what does
she know? hehe 

****Submitted by: *****

Shawnee & Doshayne 
Jasra Warren

aka
Barbara