[DL-J] Trouble in the air
By Kristen Gant <darsdragon@attbi.com>
Kalewyn Returns
***

The skies over Jasra were warm and salty, a fresh reminder of his happiness
here with Tara .. and a stab of regret over the fact that he had to admit
his indiscretion to her. Oh he had thought about not saying anything. Life
would be easier if he lied .. no not lied really‹withheld the truth .. yes,
life would be better if he withheld the truth from her. However all of Kayıs
failed relationships failed because of the fact that heıd lied or withheld
the truth. That was over now. He was going to confess.

Sabbith, who was apparently getting an earful from the queen, let him know
that Tara was in her office and was eagerly awaiting him. Kay swallowed hard
and with dread anticipation, urged Sabbith to the ground. However he found
his way to the queenriders office barred by an obviously worried Tera, as
she ran in front of his path, a blur of motion.

*Slow down .. I missed that ..* he signed after catching only a part of what
she was speaking as she moved toward him.

"How did it go? Are you all right?" Tera asked a bit slower making sure Kay
could see her hands this time.

Kay grimaced, then nodded, not sure he was ready to tell Tera what he knew
he was going to tell Tara. *It went .. okay,* he told her slowly, *Danielle
is .. okay.*

"And??" Tara prompted. "What happened!!" She had been worried about him the
whole time he was gone and wanted more then *It went .. okay*. She knew
their history and wanted to know if he was over the girl yet.

*Nothing!* Kay signed a bit to quickly. He grimaced again and looked away,
unable to meet her eyes.

The tall blond reached out and touched his arm to get him to turn back
around and face her. "Tell me Kay... I know you better then that... Was she
very upset?"

He acquiesced with a half nod, half shrug, *She was hurt by Trap ..* he
frowned, *And by me .. again ..*

"Was Trap.. around," she asked, wondering every since she'd told him Kay had
gone back to see Danielle. Trap hadn't been around since and Sundy couldn't
find Diemis. But she didn't tell Kay that, knowing how much he hated her
brother.

Kay shook his head furiously, *No .. he ran out on her remember! She was all
alone .. and scared.*

Tera frowned, but didn't persue the subject. "So.. have you come back.. to
stay?"

Kay nodded, for the first time during their conversation looking confident
and sure of his words. *I love Tara .. more then anyone ever .. I could not
be happy without her.*

At this Tera's face broke into a huge smile and she reached out and gave her
old a friend a big hug. "I'm so happy you said that because I really like
your Tara. She's a good woman who loves you like you deserve to be loved.
You made the right choice Kay I know you did!"

Kay echoed her smile for a moment before he remembered that he might have
blown it anyway. Would she care that he loved her when she heard that he'd
fallen into bed with Danielle just like he always did. His face fell, *oh
tera ..* he signed dismally, *I'm so afraid I've blown it tho...*

"What's wrong?" she asked seeing the look in his eyes change. "What did you
do?"

*Danielle .. she was .. so scared .. and .. and .. * he met her eyes,
knowing he needed to tell his friend before he faced Tara, *and so lonely
..*

"And," she prompted again softly, thinking she knew what he was about to
say, but knowing he needed to say it.

*And ..* he signed clearly ashamed at what he was going to say, *I stayed
the night with her .. in her room .. in her .. bed.*

"Oh Kay...' She sighed thinking it her fault. "I didn't mean for that to
happen when I told you you needed to see her... If only I'd kept my mouth
shut then you never would have.."

*Actually,* Kay shrugged, *it was a good thing .. I mean not just the sex ..
but it made me realize a few things. Thing I never would have realized had I
not gone to see her. Things that I have to tell Tara.* He nodded at Tera,
*I'm going to tell Tara all of it.*

Tera nodded. "That'll be a good thing. But you're sure you're over Danielle
now.. Silly question.. you came back here," she smiled. "Go see you woman
now, and good luck."

Kay nodded, *I'm scared as Hell .. but ..* He could see the understanding in
Tera's eyes and he hugged her quickly before turning once more toward Tara's
office.

"Go get her Kay," Tera muttered, knowing he couldn't hear her words as she
watched him walk away. "You deserve to be happy with someone who loves you."

***

Kay did not bother to knock. He would not have heard her anyway, and she was
expecting him .. so slowly he pushed through the door and let his eyes drink
in the sight of her. Seeing her filled him with both joy and apprehension ..
he only hoped she would understand.

Tara looked up from her pile of paperwork, hearing the familiar creak that
signaled the door opening. She expected it to be someone bringing in more
papers, but when she saw who it was her eyes went wide. She sprang up and
leaned over her desk, staring longingly. "Kay??" she asked silently, not
even breathing but knowing that the fact she hadn't made a sound made no
difference to him. "You came back...!" She stood there for only a moment
before dashing around the desk and throwing herself into his arms, nearly
bowling him over.

He clutched her to him, drinking in the smell of her hair, and bathing in
the warmth and feel of her body. He could have held her all day .. he could
have forgotten there was anything to say .. he could have been content in
her arms forever. He knew that was not the way to do this though, so after
taking in his fill of her, he reluctantly let her go as he signed, *Of
course I came back. I would go anywhere that you were ..*

The expression in his eyes was unreadable though. She could see both
happiness and relief, but something else as well. She longed to ask him
what had gone on while he was away, but knew he'd tell her when he was
ready. In the meantime, she wondered if she should tell him of all that had
transpired while he was gone. She didn't want to, because she was certain
he'd blame himself...but she knew he'd hear of those terrible events anyway.
Already, there was a good chance Sabbith had heard from Varaenna or one of
the other dagons, and would be passing it on to him. He should hear it from
her, but she didn't know how to begin. So she held him a moment longer,
while she gathered her thoughts, just content to have him back here and with
her.

*Tara .. * he signed taking a deep breath to quell the nausiating
butterflies that were quelling in his stomach. *I learned a few things about
myself this trip. A few things that both make me ashamed of myself, and make
me very relieved as well.* He signed, *Danielle was .. very scared when I
got there. She'd just been abandoned by a truly nasty man .. she's lost her
baby .. she was scared and lonely.*

*And I .. I'm afraid to say .. fell into the same old habits around her. She
.. she's always had a ..power over me. A power I never really understood ..
until now.* His dark eyes pleaded with her, *I need to you to understand ..
and to forgive me my failings, Tara, because I have discovered that nothing
means anything to me except you. I love you .. with all my heart. But ..*
His eyes fell to her feet, *I was weak .. Danielle and I .. we ended up in
bed ..*

Tara's face paled, and her jaw dropped, but she did not turn away. She did
not slap him in anger and he was encouraged by this and continued quickly,
"But I learned something, Tara. I learned that sex is all it was. Sex is all
it ever was. I was never in love with Danielle. I didn't know what love was
until I met you. One thing I can promise you is that she has no more power
over me. You will never find me running back to her. *Please .. Please ..*
he begged. *Please forgive me, because I love you, and I do not ever want to
leave your side again ..*

Tara sighed, turning her back and walking unsteadily over prop herself up
against the desk. "You say that now," she told him. "But what about next
time, Kay? What about the NEXT time she needs you...and the next time
after that?"

Kay shook his head, *There will never be a next time. Don't you see, there
was never anything real between us. She doesn't need *me*. She only wanted
me because there was no one else around. It was a hard lesson to learn,
Tara. And by the gods if I've learned it at the cost of you .. I ..* He hung
his head, *I will never be able to forgive myself. But it will not be to
Danielle that I will go for solace, that much I know.*

He blew out a long breath before continuing, *I had to tell you. I had to
have a fresh start .. one way or the other. I would die on the inside if I
had to live lies again. I know I was wrong .. and I am so .. so very sorry
if I hurt you ..*

Tara sighed, her eyes downcast. "While you were gone, we fought a battle
here. My...father was one of those killed. I needed you then...I needed
*someone* then. Now...I need someone I can count on, someone I can depend
on! I believed you were that person...I still want to believe it. But
Kay...if I am to believe what you say about a fresh start, then have I your
promise that you are *done* with that place, that you won't go back there
to where *she* is? It isn't just for me...I cannot bear to see
someone...someone I...love...putting himself where he'll destroy himself! I
watched my father do that, I cannot bear to watch it again!"

*A battle??* Kay interjected, his pleading eyes changing to concern. *I
don't understand. What happened?* He waited, but could see that she was not
going to answer him until he answered her. *Tara, I promise you. I am done
with Danielle and with Telnor. If you will have me, I will never again leave
your side .. but you have to tell me what happened with your father ..*

Saul gets bad news
***

Saul leapt off Sabbithıs back and stepped quickly into the living quarters
his family inhabited here in Jasra. "Shawnee!" he cried, quickly scanning
the rooms as he rushed past, "Are you here?"

He nearly bowled over her as he rounded the corner to their bedroom, and
deftly grabbed her arms to steady them both. "Oh Gods, Iım sorry .. I was in
such a rush, I didnıt watch .."

"Itıs ok .." she assured him, "Why the rush? Babyıs not due for a long
while," she grinned, patting her belly that was only now just beginning to
protrude a bit to show her condition. However her grin faded as she took
note of the graveness in his dark blue eyes. "Saul? Whatıs wrong?"

"I got a letter from Merybelle.." he told her, "Byron is missing. They had a
fight, and he told her he was coming here."

"Here? But how could he .. thereıs no way to travel here .."

Saul looked up at her, "Shawnee, donıt you see. Itıs exactly how it was with
me. I know exactly what he is feeling. And Iım sure he is probably as
determined to get here as I was to join my father."

"But Saul, this is different. There are wastes between there and here ..
heıll never make it."

Saulıs lips set firmly, "Heıs 18 now. He still thinks he can take on the
world.. Heıll find a way .. no matter how fool hardy or dangerous." He
hugged her tightly for a moment, then spun on his heels, and beginning to
collect traveling gear, "Iım going to find him."

"What?" Shawnee breathed, "You canıt go into the wastes .."

"Heıs my son .. I have to find him. Iıll start in the warrens .. Telnor,
most likely .." He continued to pack even as Shawnee tried to unpack him.

"You canıt go .. not now .."

"According to Meryıs letter, he left 5 days ago. Thatıs more then enough
time to make it to Telnor if he hitched a ride with a caravan. My guess is
that heıll try and find a dragonrider to bring him here .. I pray that he
does."

"If heıs willing to wait that long. Riders donıt just fly to Jasra from
Telnor on the whim of some 18 year old."

Saul nodded gravely, "I know, Shawnee .. I know. But the alternative would
be for him to set off on foot .. we have to find him before he makes that
decision."

Regards,
Kalewyn & Sabbith
Saul and Fayloth
***
NRPG: Kayıs back .. heıs in Taraıs hands now Š :) And Saulıs son Byron is on
his way ..

Thanks to Barb and John for their help :)

Kris

------------------------------------