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<snip>
Gus chewed at her lip and eyed Yasu. How far dared she trust this 
funny little man? "So," she began in an all too casual tone, "when I 
upset you, that was rememberin' somethin'?" Yasu nodded, but did not 
elaborate. Gus dropped her eyes, struggling to do what common sense - 
and the repeated urgings of her dragon - insisted she needed to 
do. "But you aint upset by it now.so you know how to let it go, 
forget about it?" Without waiting for Yasu's response, Gus went on, 
words tumbling from her in a nervous rush. "So, maybe you could teach 
me, cuz I need to figure how^�^�bad."
<snip>

Yasu could almost see the struggle within Gus, torn between pride and 
need.  The young one wanted to learn but wished to do so without 
having to ask for help, a very tough row to hoe.  'Teaching without 
an instructor is like walking without feet.  It can be done, but it 
is often slow and painful,' was what an instructor had told him years 
ago.  Placing the staff down on the ground, he eyed the woman, "First 
thing to remember is the difference between living in the past and 
learning from the past."

Gus looked at him, nodding her head.  Noting her motion, he 
continued, "Learning from the past means you live on, gaining 
wisdom.  Living means you stay where you are.  For example, when I 
was thrown by my teacher for the first time, I had
two options; I could learn from the experience, getting up and 
continuing to train or I could have remained on the ground, thinking 
of myself as a failure."

"Well I ain't a failure," Gus snapped back quickly, giving Yasu an 
angry glance.

Yasu bobbed his head, "I know that you are not, young Gus.  However, 
you are letting bad things from the past mold you in their image."

"I know that already, Yasu.  I just want to know how ta let it go,"  
Gus replied, glaring at him.

Yasu smiled and closed his eyes, opening them slowly to refocus back 
on Gus.  He could feel his peaceful aura expand outward as he 
embraced his inner calm.  It was almost tangible, a ripple in the 
air.  Walking to Gus, he spoke, "Close your eyes, young Gus.  Let 
yourself relax and feel the peace around you."

Gus shut her eyes tight and Yasu quickly spoke, "Not so tight.  
Relax."

Yasu enveloped her with his presence and a slight smile crossed her 
face as she spoke, "I can feel it, Yasu."

"Good.  Focus on this feeling, remember it.  Now, think on what you 
wish to be.  Do not say it aloud, simply think of it.  When it comes 
into focus, tell me,"  Yasu said, gradually moving away.

Thin lines of concentration wrinkled Gus' forehead.  After a moment, 
they ceased, "Okay, I got it."

"Now, I want you to think of the things that are holding you back..."

Gus' eyes snapped open, "What!  I don't wanna think of those things!"

Yasu nodded, then sat down, patting the ground in front of him, "Sit 
down, young Gus."

Gus eyed him warily before taking a seat, "What."

Yasu chuckled, "There are times I think that you believe that I am 
torturing you."

"Well, yer askin' me ta bring up bad mem'ries, Yasu.  I don't want to 
remember them," Gus stated flatly.

"I know, young Gus.  There are memories that I wish I did not have, 
but they are there.  The trick is to take the good from them, to use 
them to your advantage," Yasu replied calmly.

"That sounds kinda hard.  I mean, I've done some pretty.."  Gus' 
voice trailed off.

Yasu put his hand up, "You do not have to tell me what you have done, 
young Gus, but making good from bad is not as hard as you think.  It 
is similar to fighting a person larger than you. You use that 
person's weight against them.  You simply think of the bad thing and 
take the good from it."

"But what if there ain't no good part, Yasu?"

"There is always a good part, Gus.  You simply must search for it.  
Once you have taken the good, then the bad memory becomes a good 
memory, because it has taught you something.  Then you use what you 
have learned to help you become what you wish to be," he said.

Gus looked a little skeptical, "I don't know, Yasu.  I'll give it a 
try."

Yasu shook his head, "No young Gus, you will do it.  If you need 
help, I will help.  Understood?"

"I suppose.  Can I ask you a question, though?" Gus said.

"Of course, young Gus," replied the bald man, now rising to stand.

"Why do you call me young Gus?  It makes me feel like a kid," she 
asked, also standing up.

Yasu smiled, "I call you young Gus because you are young, not because 
you are a kid.  If you do not wish me to call you young, then perhaps 
you would prefer middle-aged Gus, or perhaps old, grizzled Gus."

Gus cocked an eyebrow, "You tryin' to be funny?"

Yasu bowed, "Learning from the past, friend Gus."

Gus sighed.  "I don't know HOW, Yasu.  What the hell good was there? 
I aint never seen nothin'."

"You have fallen before you have even been thrown, young Gus.  
Finding the good takes a positive mind,"  Yasu encouraged.

"Whaddya mean by that? Yasu, you got any idea how bad o'stuff I'm 
talkin' about? Jerr-  Er, there's folks that think I need to let it 
go..  I mean, it's makin' me do stuff, y'know?"

Yasu spread his hands wide, "Let us say the space in-between my hands 
represents everything that you have experienced in your life."

Gus looked puzzled, but nodded slowly.  "Um, ok^�...and?"  She raised 
an eyebrow.  "You trying to say I aint experienced everythin' or 
somethin' like that?"

Yasu nodded and smiled, "That is part of it, young Gus.  The other 
part is that everything that has happened in between my hands has 
made you what you are today."

"Yeah, I get that^�^�.but^�^�.well." Gus squirmed uncomfortably, torn 
between shame and the awareness that she DID need help.  "What I am 
don't work so good in the warren, see?"

"Then the part that lay just beyond my hands must change all that has 
gone before, young Gus," Yasu replied.

"Huh?"  Gus frowned and wrestled with Yasu's obscure phrasing. He 
simply waited patiently for her to reach the point he had made.  "You 
mean now," she gestured at the space outside his hands, "I change 
what I am?"

"Yes.  Now, what do you wish to change?" Yasu stated.

Gus blinked, a little startled by so blunt a question. She scratched 
the back of her head and tried to marshal her thoughts.  "Well, I 
^�^�.uh^�^�I."  She stopped and chuckled ruefully.  "I dunno, when you 
put it that way.  I don't wanna ^�..."  She flushed, but pressed on 
with her statement, "I don't wanna feel bad all the time."

"Then what makes you feel good, Gus.  Think carefully," Yasu 
cautioned.

Gus blushed fiercely.  "How do I^�^�.oh hell,"  she spun away, kicking 
at the
dirt, unable to admit to anyone how she felt.  "Dammit, everythin' 
here," she pulled Yasu's hands back to indicate her life, "taught me 
that you can't trust it.can't trust nothin'.  How'm I supposed to 
just all of a sudden change that?"

Yasu smiled, "You have already changed that, Gus.  By asking me to 
help you, you have placed trust in me."

Making a polite bow, he caught her gaze, "I am honored, friend Gus."

Gus stared at Yasu for a moment of shocked consternation and then 
threw back her head and laughed until the tears ran from her 
eyes.  "I'll be damned.  How the hell didja get me to do that?"

"It is a leap of faith, friend Gus.  One you decided to take.  It is 
the same with any change you wish to make, a chance you must be 
willing to take," said Yasu.

"So, if I want it bad enough, I can do it, y'mean?"  Gus nodded even 
as she said it.  Hadn't the streets already taught her that, after 
all?  "Thanks Yasu."


Submitted by

Ieyasu
AKA Chris Weeda

And

Gus/Loki
AKA
Katrina Gischer


NRPG:  This segment brought to you by Philosophical Crunchies.



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