Can WE Still Be Friends?

"Well, how about getting out of those clothes." Shae made a motion to the
blood soaked outfit. It couldn't be comfortable staying in them, with the
blood there as a reminder. 

"I don't have anything else to wear."

"I'm sure I can find something...  Go take a bath."

Elswyth shrugged and followed the instruction, needing to feel clean.

Shae watched her as she made her way down the hall to the bathing room, 
and then went to search of something for her friend to wear when she'd
finished her bath.

Shae wondered what it was in the girls past that made her think about
herself the way she did. As far as she, herself was concerned, Elswyth 
was one of the nicer people around here. She didn't have anything to 
prove to Shae or anyone else for that matter. 

But Shae knew that sometime the past caught you up in it's grips and 
didn't want to let you go. She was finding that out now since she'd 
come to the Warren.

When she had placed the clean garments on the chair in the corner, 
where she always laid out her own, she wondered back down the hall and 
into the kitchen to make a new pot of tea and while she got the things
together for it, her mind finally opened and let in thoughts of K'tan.

She wanted to cry. But knew it would do no good. Tears wouldn't make him
care anymore for her then he'd shown her already. Which wasn't the way 
she wanted him to feel. She didn't need another big brother. The two she 
had were enough.

But now she knew why he always pulled away when things started heating 
up between them. She wasn't the woman he wanted to be with. At lease he 
was honest enough not to take from her what others might have and then 
not cared about her feeling after wards. Shae knew K'tan would never be 
that cruel to her. 

But what was she going to do? She didn't want to just tell him not to 
come around anymore. She'd miss him to much. 

Sometime had gone by and Shae started to worry a little when her friend 
had still not come out of the bathing room, so she wondered down the hall
and shamelessly listened at the door for a moment until she heard her 
moving around inside. 

< Knial and his rider are here!> Kaaren told her rider. <He's good for 
you. He'll make you happy again.>

<<If only he could my dear heart,>> Shae thought back. <<But his heart
belongs to another and can never be mine.>>

<So why does this have to keep you from mating with him like you want 
to?> the red asked confused when her rider said one thing but her 
feelings said another. 

<Because it's not me he wants to mate with,> Shae whispered sadly as she
turned and walked back down the hall to meet him. 

She wanted more then anything to run into his arms and have him tell her
that she was the one he wanted, but knew it wasn't so. Remembering the
promise she had made to herself about not bothering him, and putting him
into the position of having to stop before they went to far, Shae took a
deep breath and harden her resolves as she saw him in the living room.

"K'tan .." her voice was cool, but he didn't notice. He was just glad to see
her.

"Are you okay? You weren't hurt, were you?"

"No," she said, "I'm fine."

He stepped closer to her reaching for her hand and sighing in relief. "I'm
glad."

She took a step back, not giving him her hand. He frowned slightly, "Is
something wrong?"

"What could be wrong?" she said a little to quickly and saw him frown. "I
mean... no.. but I'm not alone right now."

"I know, Knial told me your friend was here," he said and looked back down
the hall. When he didn't see the other girl, he took a step closer to her
and took her arm pulling her into his. 

"I heard you were in the dining hall and wanted to stop by and see if you
were okay," he told her as his hand came up and pulled her head against his
chest." I was worried about you with everything that's been happening around
here."

"I was fine, none would dare bother me when M'ressan was with me," she said
quietly, wanting to stop the arms that were moving to circle his waist.

Shae wanted to cry. She was weak. It felt so good being in his arms that she
couldn't pull away, though she knew she should. Instead she let him hold her
and knew she'd regret it later on. 

"I'm glad you weren't hurt," he said softly, kissing the top of her head.
"It got pretty bad in there for a while."

"Yes it did," she replied finally finding the strength she needed to pull
away from him. "Elswyth wasn't so lucky. Several men tried to hurt her and
she ... she had to ... before we could get to her. M'ressan stayed behind to
get things settled down while I brought her here... "

She was babbling and she knew it but couldn't stop. If she did, and he
reached for her again, she knew she'd go to him. 

"Would you like a cup of tea? I just made some," she told him as she moved
towards the kitchen to get him one.

K'tan reached out and caught her arm, stopping her before she could move
more then a step or two. 

"I don't want a cup of tea," he told her, and reached out to tilt her chin
around to face him when she wouldn't look at him. "What I want is to know
what's wrong."

"Nothings wrong," she lied. "I told you I wasn't hurt."

"That's not what I'm talking about Shae," his eyes found and held hers. "You
keep pulling away from me."

"I... Elswyth ..." she looked back over her shoulder towards the bedroom and
prayed the girl would make an appearance. But only the empty hall was to be
seen. 

"Is still back there, and we're out here alone," he had a feeling she was
keeping something from him and wanted to find out what it was. "If you'd
like me to go..."

"No!" she said quickly and turned back around to face him. That was the last
thing she wanted, even if being with him right now was hurting her. "I don't
want you to go."

Her eyes dropped down to focus on his chest, fearing if he saw what was in
her eyes, he'd see the hurt and she didn't want him to feel he was the cause
of it. 

Even knowing how he felt about the other woman, she still didn't want to
give up her time with him. She didn't have that many friends here and didn't
want to loose him as one because she couldn't keep her feelings for him
under control.

"Then why do you keep pulling away from me when I touch you?" he wanted to
know. 

"I don't..." she started to say but saw the look in his eyes that told her
he didn't believe her. "Elswyth... she could come out and..."

What ever she would have said was cut off when his lips closed over hers and
all thoughts of her promise left her mind as her lips parted and he deepen
the kiss.

"Ummm.  Shae?"

They both heard Elswyth at the same time and quickly broke apart. But when
Shae would have pulled away again, he held onto her hand. 

"I'm sorry..." the other woman held back a ways and it was then Shae noticed
Elswyth was still wearing just the towel. 

"Didn't you find the clothes I set out for you?"

Elswyth shook her head.

"They're on the chair next to my dresser. I'll show you." 

"I'll wait in the living room," K'tan told her when she looked back at him.
Something told him she as pulling away again and he didn't understand why.

"I'll be right back," she told him and turned and followed Elswyth into the
bedroom. 

"So do you two have an understanding?" her friend asked as she watched her
cross the room and pick up the clothes she'd set out.

"We're... friends," Shae told her turning to hand her the shirt and long
wrap around skirt. "He's been good to me."

"It looked to me like you may be more then friends. Does he know why you
came here?"

"No."

"Are you going to tell him? He maybe able to help."

Shae sat down on the edge of the bed. 

"He'll hate me for lying to him just like everyone else. And I won't even
have his friendship when I'm asked to leave here." 

"I think you may be wrong about him," Elswyth came to sit beside her. "He
seems to care about you more than you think."

But Shae did know.

"I'll leave you to get dressed and have some tea waiting for you when you're
finished," she got up to avoid answering and left the room. 

Then was upset with herself for not asking her friend if she was feeling any
better. She turned back and opened the door slowly only to see Elswyth still
sitting on the bed with her head bent in her hands. 

"Elswyth..."

It was a good half hour before Shae made it back out into the living room
and nearly cried when she didn't find K'tan sitting there. 

A sound behind her startled her and she turned quickly around to find him
just coming out of the kitchen.

"I thought you got tired of waiting and left," she said, relief sounding in
her voice made him smile. 

"No I just thought maybe the two of you would like something to eat, so I
searched around until I found something to make."

"That was thoughtful of you," she smiled warmly, her fears suddenly didn't
matter. He'd stuck around to be with her when he could have left and been
with... 

His face brightened and he held out his hand to her. 

"Come on you can help me take the meal into the living room," he said,
leading her into the kitchen area. "I think it'll be more comfortable to eat
where we can relax."

"Good idea," she grinned and then looked at him in surprise when she saw the
meal he had made. 

"How...?"

K'tan laughed. "It's surprising what you can put together with some thought.
I just took what you had and made enough to feed all of us. But I think
you'd better go to the stores in the morning. There's not much left."

She followed him back into the living area and place the tray he'd prepared
on the coffee table in front of the couch, then took a seat.

K'tan sat down next to her, and wasn't to surprised when she put some space
between them. He was going to ask her again what was wrong when Elswyth
chose that moment to join them. 

They eat and talked for a while about everything except the fight that had
happen in the dining hall, then Shae couldn't take it any longer. 

"K'tan. Why do they hate us so much just because we're Landbound born?"

"I don't really know Shae," he told her honestly and reached for her hand. 

****Submitted by: ******

Shaelesta & Kaaren (the Fireball)
Keldarra Warren