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Day 11; early afternoon
====

^îWell, frankly m^ñlady,^ï replied the burly man in charge
of the remainder of the excavation, ^îThere^ñs little you
could do here. It^ñs almost under control now.^ï

Arri nodded understandingly and smiled. ^îOf course. I
wouldn^ñt want to be in the way or anything like that.^ï

With a soft sigh, she wandered back out onto the Green.
Gads was she bored. The Medical Center didn^ñt really
have any room for her, the rock slide and various other
catastrophes were under control, and Lakoda had left for
Daere over family matters.

The healer was feeling particularly homesick, and more
importantly, useless. No matter how much she tried to
help, to make friends, it felt as if she was still
treated as baggage to the existing Warren. She was in
the way no matter where she went.

<Dammit... Daetyn, lass ^… I want te^ñ go home.>

There was a lengthy patient silence before Daety
replied. <:You know we can^ñt do that. It^ñs too dangerous
still.:>

Arri sat down under a tree near the edge of the Green
where nobody was looking and choked back tears. <But
I^ñve no place here, lass. The Med Center wants me out
from under their feet, I canna help rebuild, they^ñve
more queens and administration than trees ^… what purpose
do I serve here anyway?>

A tear finally escaped and Arri cried silently, wanting
to go home, wishing she^ñd made it into the flames,
wishing she^ñd never been born, wishing she could time it
back to before the whole mess started...

<:Arri, that^ñs forbidden!:> rumbled her dragon
fretfully. <:Don^ñt even consider such things.:>

Burying her face in her hands, she cried anyway, swamped
with feeling useless and unwanted and lonely in this
strange and frightening place where life was one tragedy
after another. More people had died or been hurt in the
time here than in her years at Falagand and Marrid
combined. They were senseless deaths, the kind that prey
on your soul for years and years afterwards.

<:Enough, Arri. Look at what you^ñve done for Rod^ñr^ñk.
Sarilyn wants to learn from you. You^ñre helping Gransol
with the foot infection he has. You^ñre not useless.
Please don^ñt do this to yourself. Please.:> Daetyn
fluttered down onto the green to land in front of her
rider and dropped her head to nuzzle at her comfortingly.

With trembling hands, Arri rubbed at her scalp and shook
her head. She would never belong here. She was just
trying to make herself look useful. Home was gone. What
was she to do now? The tears began to flow again.

Friends here had no time for her, the one who had made
it. David, Lakoda, T^ñrend ... C^ñtain and Sina were home,
wherever that was - if home even existed any more.

Nothing greeted her in the mornings except a gnawing
loneliness that her dragon couldn^ñt fill. There wasn^ñt
enough to do for her to ignore it. Here she sat, crying
on the green, and nobody scurrying past even stopped to
look.

<:Arri, go talk with Sarilyn and Lunath. Sarilyn is due
for more dhjuru work at any rate and I get the feeling
from Lunath that she^ñs less than happy herself. Perhaps
you can knock some sense into each other.:> The dragon^ñs
voice was a little peevish, the unspoken ^îsince you
won^ñt listen to ME^ï hanging in the air between them like
a challenge.

With a heavy heart, A^ñrillia acquiesced and stood up,
scrubbing the tears away from her eyes and trying to
smile. Slowly and deliberately she waked away from
Daetyn and headed towards Sarilyn^ñs apartments.

--<Sarilyn^ñs apartments>--

Arri knocked gently on the edge of the doorframe. She
knew there had been some kind of party last night and
she didn^ñt want to wake the young woman, but by the same
token, Daetyn was right about a practice being overdue.

The muffled sounds of someone rolling out of bed came
from within. ^îWh... who is it?^ï a drowsy voice called
out.

^îSarilyn, it^ñs A^ñRillia. I don^ñt want to wake you, but
now that you^ñve had a couple of days to practice the
first dhjuru, we need to check your form and add the
footwork,^ï explained the healer through the closed
door. ^îIf this is a bad time, I understand.^ï

The door opened and a rather tired and disheveled
looking Sari waved A^ñRillia in. ^îNo, no... I should get
up anyway. I was up a bit later than usual last night at
the party.^ï

As the healer took a chair at the kitchen table, Sarilyn
went to get dressed behind a screen. ^îFeel free to make
yourself some tea if you like, Guru. I^ñll be a minute.^ï

Smiling tenderly at the use of the teacher^ñs
appellation, Arri made herself a mild pot of
blackcurrant tea and poured a cup. By the time Sari had
finished changing, she was about halfway through the cup.

Sarilyn sat down at the kitchen table and poured herself
a cup of tea with softly spoken thanks. The two women
sat for a moment in comfortable silence before Sari
sighed.

^îGuru, do you ever get the feeling you^ñre not wanted?
That nobody ever listens to you? That you don^ñt fit into
the big picture somehow?^ï The young woman^ñs face was
blank, but the fear and anguish in her eyes were totally
evident.

A deep sigh, closed eyes and a pained smile ^… Arri knew
all too well lately that feeling. ^îYes, Sari, I do.
Often. It is something we all struggle with at times.^ï

^îI just feel like I^ñm talking to myself,^ï the young
woman said forlornly. ^îI try to make friends, I try to
get involved, but it never quite seems to work the way I
planned it."^ï

^îWe all script our lives to some degree, Sarilyn. The
problem is getting others to follow the script,^ï
admonished Arri gently, ^îAnd generally they don^ñt.^ï

Shaking her head, Sari tried again. ^îNo Guru, I mean
genuinely feeling like you don^ñt exist. Like nothing you
do matters. Like nothing you say matters. Like you could
vanish and nobody would see?^ï

A^ñRillia^ñs heart went out to her in that moment. Oh
goddess, did she know that feeling all too well.

Leaning across the table, she took Sari^ñs hands in her
gloved ones. ^îYes I do, Sarilyn. I^ñm suffering from a
little bit of it myself of late - the barren foreign
queen one-too-many-medics syndrome. I have, shall we
say, quite the track record of attempting to remove
myself from the gene pool. I never succeeded because I
have someone way smarter than me looking after me. As do
you.^ï

The healer cupped Sari^ñs cheek gently with her hand. ^îNo
matter how lonely you feel, it isn^ñt worth that. You
have to keep trying. Sometimes when things are busy and
we aren^ñt directly involved, it^ñs easy to feel like we
don^ñt matter. But there are those who care about you,
and if you just talk to them, they will MAKE room in
their heart.^ï

Arri leaned over the table and kissed Sari^ñs forehead
very gently, a solemn benediction.

<:Perhaps you should listen to some of your own advice,
oh Great Wise Healer,:> said Daetyn acerbically.

Sarilyn looked at Arri across the table and a tear slid
down her cheek without any sound.

^îIt^ñs all right if you need to cry. I make a good pillow
and I have big shoulders. Sometimes it^ñs best just to
get it out of your system,^ï Arri held out her arms in
mute invitation. ^îCome here and get a hug at least.^ï

Sarilyn hesitated for a moment, then standing up, she
stumbled over the chair leg and sent it crashing to the
ground. Heedless of the noise, she walked to the
healer^ñs side of the table and allowed the elder woman
to hold her close while she cried out all her
frustrations.

Arri cried silently as well, the tracks of her tears
leaving dampness in Sarilyn^ñs hair. For several long
moments, the two women sat and comforted each other.

The younger woman^ñs sobs trailed off to sniffles and she
sat back, looking at Arri^ñs damp cheeks. ^îSee,^ï offered
A^ñRillia, ^îYou^ñre not the only one with a leaky washer.^ï

Both women giggled at that. Leaky washers indeed.

^îCome now, are you ready for your lesson? Or shall we do
this another day?^ï

Shaking her head, Sarilyn stood to follow Arri out onto
the patch of lawn outside her apartments. Slowly, the
two women turned to face each other.

^îToday, we will go through the arm movements of the
first dhjuru together. Then I will begin to teach you
the Star ^… the foot movements that allow for balance
control and go with each dhjuru just as water goes with
clouds.^ï

Nodding eagerly, Sarilyn took the starting position.

^îWith me then, Sarilyn.^ï

Sarilyn tipped her head respectfully before speaking.

^îI present myself before the Creator in the beginning.^ï

The two women said the words slowly and deliberately as
they began the movements that represented the first
prayer and movement from which all others spring.

^îI present my self to the best of my ability in the
knowledge of the Art.^ï

Their hands reached forward in supplication, fingertips
touching in the air between them.

^îI ask to receive from the Creator all those things
which I do not see to engrave upon my heart until the
end.^ï

They touched their closed hands to their hearts,
recognizing that knowledge and understanding are not the
same in the eyes of spirit.

^îTake your left foot, so,^ï began Arri, moving her foot
outward in demonstration, ^îAnd try to block me.^ï

===============================
NRPG: Just trying to give me and Sari something to do.
We both feel kind of ^… extraneous lately. :)

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