NRPG:  I'm sorry.  I forgot to include the archive address when I
first wrote this.  

Galen:
--------------
"How do you know if a woman is attracted to you?"  The question hung
in the air, each man just as surprised as the other that it had come
out.

Talesin started to smile and there was a mischievous glint in his eye.
 

Galen never found out what he might have said.  Just as the young man
opened his mouth, Farr'in's booming voice broke in.

"You two had better hurry up if you want to make it to the dinner."

Galen turned to face the large rider.  "What dinner?"

"That young thing H'tor brought back with him is fixing a meal and
everyone is invited."

He turned and glanced at Talesin.  The young man was already nodding
to Farr'in.  "We'll be there."

As they headed out, Talesin bent close to Galen and whispered "This
doesn't get you off the hook.  I still want a full explanation."  

Galen had to laugh.

<..>

Galen glanced across the crowd, picking out faces he recognized. 
T'grat was there with his wife, Naomi was with H'tor, and Meena was
chatting with Farr'in.  He couldn't spot Zera and then realized she
probably hadn't been told about it.  He wouldn't have known if Farr'in
hadn't stopped by.

The big man had waited for them and then guided them to the dinner. 
He had broken off once inside to talk with Meena.  Talesin was off
somewhere, Galen wasn't sure where he was.  

He wandered through the crowd, catching bits and pieces of
conversation, thinking about nothing in particular.  Then, his ears
caught something which made him turn.  His eyes found the young girl
who was orchestrating the feast.  She was muttering under her breath
about something, but it wasn't in the tongue that he expected.

He wandered closer, listening intently to the mutters of this young
girl.  He couldn't make out what she was saying, but the language was
familiar, and he knew he had heard it before.  He realized H'tor was
watching his approach, suspicion and doubt vivid in his gaze.  Galen
returned the stare, continuing his approach.  

He didn't know what to make of this girl yet, and he wasn't about to
let the suspicions of H'tor get in the way of his curiosity.  Coming
up behind her, he spoke softly in his own tongue.  "Hello there."  The
girl jumped, having not heard his approach and turned to face him.  

He repeated himself, but she only looked at him, curiosity in her
eyes.  Hmmm...time to try something else.  There was a barter language
that the nomad tribes used when they came to the outlying towns to
trade.  He knew a little of it and decided to give it a try.

"Hello.  Do you understand me?"

The girl nodded, hesitant, and replied "Yes.  Who are you?"

Galen could still feel H'tor's eyes, but he ignored him.  "I am Galen.
 Who are you?"  

"Artemis.  How do you know the barter language?"  Her voice was less
hesitant, but there was still a trace of fear in her eyes.

"I am not from around here.  I come from a land called Capera.  Do you
know of it?"

"I have not heard of it.  Is it near here?"

Galen chuckled.  "No.  It is far from here."

The girl looked at him doubtfully.  "If it is far, why are you here?"

"It is a long story."  They both knew that the barter language was
limited and Galen would have a hard time telling his story.  

The girl shrugged.  "I'm sorry, but I don't have the time.  I have to
continue preparing the food."

He nodded, said goodbye, and wandered off.  He felt a little
disappointed that she hadn't known his homeland, but it was still
exciting to find someone who was close to the culture he had left.  He
began thinking of his home, and was suddenly very conscious of how
alone he was.  

Talking with the girl had made him realize something that he had
walled away for the past year.  He had been too busy surviving up
until this point to consider what had happened to him.  Now that he
was safe and secure, the walls were beginning to come down.

He looked around the crowd, seeing the smiling faces, and he realized
he didn't really know them.  He was an outsider here.  They had
accepted him into their home, but he began to doubt whether he would
ever be truly accepted by the people.

In his mind he saw the suspicion in H'tor's eyes, and in the eyes of
countless others, and was plunged into doubt.  

<..>

He sat next to Talesin during the dinner and the young man immediately
started questioning him.

"Is she here?"  Talesin was enjoying himself immensely, sensing the
older man's nervousness in this area.  

Galen, however, was too occupied with his own thoughts and could only
shake his head in response to the question.

"Hey, are you okay?"  

"Not really.  I...."  He was cut off by T'grat's worried cry.

Galen watched, helpless, as Greta collapsed and was taken away.  In
the resulting confusion, he quietly slipped away.  He didn't like
feeling helpless, and he was beginning to realize that in this land,
he was very helpless.  

His skills were out of place here.  He might be able to teach the
riders a few things, but he would not be able to use his skills again.
 All of his life, there had been a specific place and purpose for him.
 He had a purpose here, but it was less certain than any he had had
before.  For the first time in his life, Galen was unsure of himself
and the life he had chosen.  And it terrified him.

<..>

He slept badly that night.  When he finally did drift off, his sleep
was plagued by nightmares and he woke abruptly.  He looked out his
window and realized he had slept through his morning practice session.
 He absently wondered if the other two had shown up or not.

After bathing, he wandered out onto the green.  He saw Zera standing
in the sun and he headed towards her, needing to feel the warmth of
her presence.  

"Zera?"  She didn't respond.  He looked at her more closely and saw a
distance in her eyes.  He continued to approach, not wanting to
interrupt her thoughts, but needing to distract his own.

He called again and still she didn't respond.  He was pretty close to
her now, and he started to get worried.  Even if she was deep in
thought, she should have heard him.  It was more than just thought.

She finally turned at his third call, and there was something in her
eyes that Galen couldn't identify.  

"Morning, Galen," she said listlessly.

"Zera, are you okay?"

"Greta's dead...  We couldn't... couldn't..."  Zera began to shake,
but
couldn't cry.  "I..."

That helpless feeling hammered into him.  He wrapped his arms around
Zera and held her, needing the support as much as she did.  She
continued to shake and he felt her begin to cry.  

He didn't know how long they stood there.  He was flooded with a
hundred different emotions, all of them conflicting.  In the end, they
all left him and all he felt was an incredible, consuming emptiness.

"Listen to me, Zera.  You ... you give people another chance.  This
time it wasn't enough, but .... it doesn't always end this way."  And
suddenly every doubt and every fear he had ever had came to a head. 
"Think of it this way.  You create life.  I .... well, all I have ever
created is death."  

Suddenly, he had an overwhelming need to be alone.  He fought it for a
moment and then gave in.  He broke away from her and ran.  He didn't
know if she called out to him or not.  He was far away ffrom the
Warren.  He was one every field of battle he had ever fought on and he
was seeing all of the men who had fallen to his sword.

One of his commanding officers had told him once that a soldier has
two choices.  He can accept death and killing and live his life
knowing that these things are only a part of the way the world works. 
Or he can let them haunt him and drive himself to the point of
madness.  

Up until this moment, Galen had always believed he had taken the first
road.  Now, as he ran, he realized that there were ghosts hiding in
his mind.  Maybe it was the safety and security this place offered
him.  Maybe it was the loss of everything he had known.  Whatever it
was, it had shaken those ghosts loose.  

He collapsed in his room, and wondered vaguely if he could make it
back to that first road or if he would follow the second to its end.  

__________________________
Quoth the Raven "Nevermore!"

Ben Tate
Galen