Galen:
----------
Galen sat in his room and stared at nothing.  He had calmed down 
considerably after leaving Zera, and was now attempting to think things 
through.  There were a lot of emotions running through him and it was 
hard to separate them out.  

He lost track of time as he journeyed deeper and deeper within himself. 
He came to no conclusions but couldn't shake the feeling that 
understanding was very close by.  If only he could make sense of it all.  

He knew that all of the things he had pushed away were fighting to be 
dealt with.  In the course of fifteen years of soldiering, he had 
acquired quite a few memories that would have best been forgotten.  And 
for a long time he had managed to do just that.  Not completely, of 
course, but enough so that he could do his job.  

Now, with the shock of his new home and the loss of the old finally 
coming through, all of those memories were displaying themselves to him 
again.  And he was certain they wouldn't go away until they were dealt 
with.

However, he had no idea where to begin.  He thought and thought and 
finally decided to take a break.  He was exhausted, the lack of sleep 
from the night before beginning to settle in on him, so he decided to 
take a little nap.  The only thing he had planned for today had been a 
meeting with T'grat, but he knew that wouldn't be happening.  He slept 
withing moments of laying down.

<..>

He awoke to the sound of footsteps and then Zera was marching into his 
room.

"Wake up, Galen.  We're going on a picnic."

He was so stunned by her sudden arrival that for a second he couldn't 
manage to say anything except, "What?"

Zera forced a smile.

"Picnic.  Remember.  You promised to go on a picnic with me, and I'm
holding you to it."

He did remember.  However, he really didn't feel like leaving his room 
until he had sorted everything out.  

"Zera..."

"No excuses.  I need to do something fun and mindless... and you're 
coming with me.  So get up, already!"

And he got up.  The thought of standing firm in his decision to stay had 
melted away by the look in her eyes.  She wasn't going to take no for an 
answer.  Galen didn't feel like arguing with her, so he complied.  He 
guessed it wouldn't harm anything really.  

<..>

They remained silent as Mazel guided them toward their destination.  
Galen didn't really know what to say, still caught up in his own 
thoughts and Zera seemed to be concentrating on flying.  

They settled down and unpacked and still remained silent.  Galen began 
to grow a little uneasy.  He was not usually uncomfortable with silence, 
but for some reason he felt that he should be saying something this 
time.  He searched for what it was he was supposed to say, but found 
nothing.  Zera finally broke the silence.

"What is it that is bothering you?  What you said this morning didn't 
really make sense."  

How could he explain it to her?  He looked into her eyes, and saw that 
same fire that was there earlier.  She expected an answer to this.  So, 
he settled his thinking and tired to explain as best he could.

"You know I'm a soldier, and that I've fought for about half of my life.  
I've built up a healthy dislike for what I've done.  After Greta's 
death... well... some things started to settle in.  I have been so busy 
keeping myself alive for the past year that I've never thought about 
what had happened to me."

Zera looked confused, and she had a right to be.  He had brought up two 
subjects and there wasn't a clear connection between them right now.

"I know this is confusing.  Let me see if I can explain better.  Last 
night I started thinking about my life, where I was going and what I 
already had done.  I found that I didn't like what I saw in my life.  
I've been busy killing for fifteen years, then I come here and I spend 
the first few days lying and building up so many stories that nobody 
knows where the truth really is.  I guess I just realized that I didn't 
like the man I had become and I don't know if I can change him."

Zera shook her head and looked at him.  She didn't say anything for a 
few seconds... she just studied him.  

"Galen...this is something that you have to deal with.  You can't live 
your life doubting yourself.  And I can't really help.  All I can tell 
you is that I've enjoyed your company for the past few days and I'm glad 
you came here."

She paused a second, obviously working something out in her head, before 
continuing.

"Everyone makes choices that they regret.  You just have to accept it 
and move on with your life.  Your past is over and done with.  The past 
cannot be changed, but you have a future and you can change that."

Galen didn't know what to think.  He still doubted that his skills would 
be of any use here, no matter what people thought he could do.  He also 
didn't know if he could come to terms with his past.  But there was a 
new feeling in him.  It was very small, but it was there. Galen realized 
suddenly that there was hope in him again.

He turned and looked at Zera.  Suddenly he felt awkward and didn't know 
why.  He had just shared something to this woman that he probably 
wouldn't share with anyone else.  Where had his caution gone?

He decided to try his hand at listening, hoping that it would ease his 
awkwardness a little.  

"My turn to listen.  How are you doing with Greta's death?"

[Tag Jill!]

Old Man:
-----------
Where was that Galen?  He had been gone all of yesterday and now he was 
gone today.  There just wasn't any time left.  

He was standing in Galen's room, trying to figure out what to do next. 
The ache in his chest was growing.  The darn thing had started up a few 
minutes ago and it wouldn't go away.  

He moved over and slipped a note into Galen's journal and left.  

The old man made it back to his room before he died.  

______________________________
NRPG:  Just for the record, the Old Man died of natural causes, nothing 
suspicous.  

Quoth the Raven "Nevermore!"
Ben Tate
Galen


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