Norwall Warren #12
05/31/98

Nrpg: Wanted to thank Kris who helped me to write a good part of the
talking. She's wonderful isn't she :)

-----------------------------------

Loss And Rebirth

>"Cleft's not that far really, not when there's a dragon to do the
transporting. Perhaps when the queen has hatched Amethyst and I can make 
the journey to Cleft to see her. I can't thank you enough for what you've
done for her and Demee, Farr'in." she said as she laid a hand on his arm
"Especially as I can see that you're going to miss her just as much as I
will."  

"It was the least I could do for a friend in need."  Farr'in replied. He
tried not to show any of the mixed up feelings churning around inside of
him. Wanting first to explore them on his own. "If you're OK I'll go let
Hered know she and the boy arrived safely?"

She nodded, and he turned and walked slowly away.  

"Farr'in."  she called just as he reached the entrance.

He turned back with a quizzical look, not knowing what else needed to be
said between them. 

"Don't make the same mistake as I did."  she said softly, regret filling 
her tone. "Don't leave it till it's too late.  Tell her."

He nodded his head and took a deep breath, needing it to steady his
emotions, then continued out of the caves. 

He didn't call the brown to come with him. Tergath also needed some 
comfort of his own, and if he could find even a little cuddling up with 
the Queen, who was he to deny him. After all that had happened the last 
few days... maybe, he thought, the dragons needed eachother.

Leaving the brown behind, he slowly made the walk to Meena's old 
apartment where he knew the man would be waiting for some word. 

Farr'in walked slowly up the steps, knowing he had this one last thing 
to do before he could go home. He'd promised Meena and meant to keep that
promise even though he knew how much the news was going to hurt the man
waiting inside. Or would it?

Hered looked up when Farr'in entered, "She's safe?" he asked?

"She and the boy are safe," he nodded his head. "You don't have to worry
about them, but I know you will."

Farr'in gave the man a sad smile for he to would continue to worry about
them. they'd become a big part of his life and even now he was missing 
them with a emptiness inside he'd never known.

Hered nodded, "Probably. Thank you for letting me know .." A tired hand
pushed against the chair he'd been sitting in. For a moment Farr'in 
thought he was going to fall, but he steadied himself and held out his 
hand to the dragonrider.

The stocky rider took it, and surprised the older man when he pulled him
close for a hug. "She wanted you to know that she loved you very much and
would miss you. Made me promise to tell you that."

Hered smiled, his dark eyes sparkled for a moment, "I'll miss her to. Best
daughter a man could ask for."

"I only hope I can get along without her," He looked up at the tall 
dragon rider, "What about you .. are you going to be able to get along
without her?

"Well sure I'll miss having her and the boy around," he hedged, not 
wanting to think about it to closely. "I'd gotten used to Demee hanging
around and Tergath will miss his help with the oiling."

Hered chuckled, "Demee is a joy. But then .. so is his mother. Don't you agree?"

Farr'in cocked a knowing eyebrow at the old man. "We are friends. Of 
course I agree. This place won't be the same without her." 

Hered shrugged, "You young people have no idea what your missing .."

Farr'in looked away unable to meet the man's eyes, and even as he said the
words his heart disagreed with his mind. "Things just wouldn't have worked
out... and why mess up a good friendship.... No. It's better this way. She
can find someone younger who'll love her the way she deserves to be loved.
Someone who'll make a wonderful father for Demee."

That thought did not cheer him at all. The very thought of someone else
taking the hugs he himself had come to cherish... well he didn't find that
to comforting. 

"When you get as old as me .. then  you'll see," Hered grabbed the man's
hand, "But you'll waste your time and not listen to an old man.. and in 
the end you'll be sorry .." he headed toward the kitchen mumbling about 
the stupidity of youth.

"You may be right old man," Farr'in mumbled to himself, then raised his
voice as he prepared to leave. "I'll be going now... just wanted you to 
know they were safe and well cared for. If you need anything... anything 
at all... I hope you'll let me know."

"I'll be fine. I'm smart enough to know a good thing, and I won't be
spending my nights alone .."

The rider smiled. "Who'd want to spend time with the likes of you?"

Hered chuckled, "Someone who knows a good thing when she sees it! Now get
along young man before she gets here." Hered's smiled faded, "If I write
Meena .. You'll take her my letters?"
 
"I'll make sure to deliver them right into her hands... and know she'll be
asking about that first thing?" he promised and with one last touch of his
hand on Hered arm, Farr'in turned and walked away.

........................

"Is that young man out of his ever loving mind, or just dumber than he
looks?" a woman's voice said from the other room, where she'd hid out 
when they had heard someone coming. 

Hered shrugged, "Probably both." He took her hand in his, "I used to be
stupid as well .. But not anymore."

"No.. you finally wised up in your old age.." the woman giggled, like a
young girl. "And I for one was glad you did."

"I just wish I was young enough to enjoy it." he sighed, "I've been 
feeling very tired today .."

"Did you tell her before she left why you wouldn't join her where she 
was going?" Rybeth asked him, all traces of humor gone from her eyes as 
she led him over to the couch.

He shook his head, "No .. I couldn't. It wouldn't have done either of 
us any good."

"She and the boy will be upset when they find out. But I understand why 
you did it. I just hope one day Meena will too."

"She had to get away, Beth. I'd have only made it harder for her. And 
she's had it hard enough with .." he frowned and a pained look crossed 
his face, "With what happened to my son."

"Well I know it was hard for her at the time... but I also know you've 
done everything you could to make it up to her. I know she will always 
love you for that. For being here for her." the woman patted his hand 
as she sat there beside him. "I think knowing how much you cared for 
the two of them was what helped her thought things until now. ... Well 
until that idiot of a man flew in here. ... you know... I wonder just 
how long it will take the two of them to realize what everyone else can 
see right now?"

"I hope not to long," Hered said.

Rybeth looked at him in concern, "You're so pale. Perhaps you should 
sleep?

He shook his head, "I feel fine, I just want to spend some time with 
you .." He leaned against her, "I am going to miss them .."

It wasn't until the next morning.....Rybeth awoke with a start. The 
feeling that something was wrong, course strongly through her. Sitting 
up she turned her head back to look at Hered... and knew. 

"Good-bye my friend," She let the tears flow freely as she kissed his
forehead and smoothed his hair ..

........................

"He's gone," Rybeth told the stocky rider when she'd found him sometime
later. "In his sleep last night. I think he was only waiting until he knew
they would be fine and have someone new to watch over and love them."

"I'll let her know," Farr'in's voice was slightly choked with emotion. 
He'd miss the old man and the friendship they'd started. 

"Today?" Rybeth asked.

"No."

"No?" 

"I know she'll be upset with his passing, and with me for the decision 
I'm about to make. But if I go there now and tell her Hered is no more...
then she's going to want to come back here for the funeral and I can't 
let her do that. They'd be expecting her to come back for it and she'd 
only be putting herself and her safety in trouble."

"Oh you don't need to convince me of that young man," Rybeth smiled 
warmly as she touch his arm. "Hered wouldn't have wanted her to come 
back .. not if it would endanger her, or Demee."

"You and I know that," he grinned sadly. "But I'm sure she won't be to 
happy when she learns and will be sure to have a few things to say about 
not being told."

Rybeth release his arm and walked across the room to an old roll top 
desk standing by the far wall. She reached inside the top drawer and 
pulled out an envelop, before turning back to him.

"Hered gave this to me sometime ago. I think it was just after he 
learned of his illness and you came onto the scene. He asked that I 
give it to Meena after he... well..." 

She came back to stand before him and held it out for him to take. "Will 
you see that she gets it when you take her the news. I think it'll let 
her and ease her heart a little."

Farr'in took it and placed it in his top pocket, then reached out and 
took the older woman in his arms. She was being so strong, and he needed
some of her strength right then.

"Will you be okay if I go and tell Naomi?" he asked, slowly releasing 
her, after a few moments. "I'll come back and help you with the funeral
arrangements after that if you'd like."

"I think Hered would have liked that. He did like you, you know. Enough 
to trust you with the two most important things in his life," she eyed 
him then before going on. "I just hope you're smart enough to realize 
that."

"I would never let anything happen to the two of them," he told her, 
knowing she meant something entirely different. "That's why I took them 
to be with my family. I couldn't ask for them to be in better or safer hands."

"Oh?" she looked pointedly at him, and reached for his hands, holding 
them up for him to see. "And what about these two hands. Why aren't they
where she is protecting her. You think I'm too old to see what's 
happening?"

"Because my life is here now," he told her pulling away and putting some
space between them. He didn't want to have to face that question.. or 
think about answering it right now. It only made him realize how empty 
he felt inside. And that wasn't a feeling he liked. "I'll be back after 
I inform Naomi of Hered's passing."

"Okay, while you're gone telling Naomi, I'll go and inform the healer 
hall, and have them send someone to come ..."

"It'll be okay Rybeth."

.......................

"I thought you'd still be here," he grinned when he found the young
Warrenlady in the first place he looked. 

She looked around at the sound of his voice and smiled. 

"And where else would I be with a proddy Queen?" she asked, and then saw 
the sadness lining his face. "What is it... did you hear something from
Meena...she's not.."

"No...no... nothing like that," he assured her and then turned to look at
his dragon still cuddled up next to the Queen. Farr'in couldn't help but
notice the dead buck siting on the ground before her, or smell the meaty
musk of her breath, giving tales of the one she'd already consumed. 

<She said she was hungry,> Tergath informed his rider. <So I hunted for 
her. She's very grateful.>

<<I'll bet she is. You're truly a fine beast my friend.>>

<I am... and our daughter will make a fine Queen one day.> sadness 
filled the browns mental tone as he thought about their other children 
who hadn't lived to fine their life mates. 

He knew the same thing would never happen in their old home. His friends
would see to that and protect his children there when they were laid.

"Then why do you look so sad this morning Farr'in?" Naomi asked, then 
her lips turned up in a slow smile. "Feeling a little lost this morning
without Demee following you around or Meena sitting across from you at
breakfast?"

"Something like that," he allowed slowly. "Hered passed on sometime 
during the night. Rybeth was with him and said he suffered no pain at 
the end. Just sort of went to sleep and never woke."

"Oh Gods... Meena will be so upset when she hears," the girl cried and
Farr'in didn't even stop to think, but reached out and pulled her into 
his arms and let her weep.

He didn't know when the last time she let herself go, and didn't have 
to prove how strong she was. He himself knew his own eyes were tearing 
up and he didn't care for a moment who witnessed it. 

His hand came up and stoked through her hair. His voice was surprisingly
soft as he uttered words of comfort. 

"He was a good man who lived his life the way he wanted, and gave his 
love to those who deserved it. That's how I think we should remember 
him."

"Gods.... Meena and Demee don't need this on top of everything else
happening to them," Naomi muttered. "She'll want to come back... and that
would be to dangerous for her right now..."

"That's why I've decided not to tell her until after the funeral," 
Farr'in told her, then went on to explain his reasons. "If she finds out
now,... she'll hop on Vonn and come racing back here and put herself and
maybe Demee in danger. If I don't tell her until it's to late then she'll 
be angry with me, which I can live with... but she won't think about 
coming back at that late a date."

"So when are you going home," she asked.

"In a few days when everything is settled. Tergath and I would be happy 
to give you a ride there if you'd like to go see her and make sure she's okay."

[[Tag Les.. will she go... ?]]

"Where is she?? What have you done with her?"

Farr'in felt a hand grip his arm just after leaving the hatching cave, 
and turned to find a very angry Jahn standing there. 

"The dragon's said you took her away and that she didn't come back with
you," the boy went on in a huff. "I want to know where she is?"

"Somewhere safe and that's all I'm going to tell you," the rider told 
him, shaking off his hand. "I'm not going to put her in more danger 
than she's already in."

"I would never endanger her." he said angrily. "Now where is she!

"Leave off kid," Farr'in gave him a look that most would have recognized 
as the conversation being over. If she wanted you to know where she was 
the boy were going she would have told you."

He started to walk away but the younger man came after him. "It's you 
who will get her in danger. Taking her off to someplace where she has 
no friends to look after her."

"She's being looked after by people I trust to do the job a hell of a 
lot better than you think you could. People who know what they're doing.
People who will see that she and her son come to no harm, and have the
support and help to see them through this. That's something you would 
never be able to give her."

"I've been taking care of her for a lot longer then you.  She's my
responsibility! She's my partner!"

"Not any more she's not kid. Look if you cared about her the way you say 
you do then you'll let her go and give her the chance to be happy again." 
he tried to insert some kindness and understanding in his tone but Jahn 
was having none of it.

"You can't take her away from me like this! You can't do it. You've got 
to tell me where she is."

"I can't.. no make that I won't," Farr'in shook his head. "I gave her my
word and mean to keep it. But I'll let her know you were asking about her
the next time I see her."

"Next time .. and just when will that be?" Jahn asked narrowing his eyes.
"You can't keep her holed up somewhere for your own personal pleasures."

Farr'in turned on him then. He couldn't believe the kids stupidity. 

"Is that what you think this is? A game. That I'm holding her some where 
so I can have *sex* with her anytime I want!!! Are you really as stupid 
as you look? Haven't you understood one thing about what's going on?"

"I've seen the way you look at her. I know you want her. But you can't 
have her. She's mine.."

So that's what this was all about. The kid was in love with her... or
thought he was. Farr'in wondered if Meena ever knew or suspected. 

"Meena and I are friends. Just good friends, and I care enough about her 
to let her go. To have to go through each and every day without seeing 
her smile or getting a hug from her son. I love her as a friend, enough 
to do without these things because her being safe and alive are more
important to me then laying a claim on her. Can you say the same?"

"You think she loves you more," Jahn said, "But she doesn't .. you'll 
see." He turned and stomped a few steps , "You'll see Farr'in, She'll 
always come back to me."

"Not this time kid," he said softly as Jahn stormed away. "A woman like
Meena wouldn't stay with you long anyway. She needs a man to walk beside
her... not some lap dog following in her wake....She was never for you 
and I hope one day you'll see that."

He watched until Jahn was out of sight, then turned and continued on 
where he'd been headed before the man had stopped him. 

The sooner the arrangements were taken care of.. the sooner he and 
Tergath could leave.. for home and Meena. 

He only hoped she'd still be talking to him before he had to return to
Norwall. Back to the emptiness that filled his life.

*****Submitted by: *****

Farr'in & Tergath
Norwall Warren

aka
Barbara