He couldn't believe she was saying these things. Couldn't believe farther
that he was standing here listening to her mouth off. What gave her the
right? What the hell did she know about him or how he had spent the last two
years of his life.

The tall rider shrugged, "I lived with death every day for two years, but I
didn't hide in a corner and wet my pants over it!"

If she believed that was what he though about Kay, fine... he'd let her have
it. She seemed to know everything any way. Or thought she did. Nothing he
could say to her at this time would change her mind. So why the hell should
he even try.

Tahlaya's eyes narrowed, "That was your choice, your decision! Kay had no
choice."

"What do you expect me to do, trade places with him?" he retorted. Trap was
more than a little angry now. Yeah it had been his decision. One he had been
glad he had made. Even if it had meant giving up Danielle's love. He had
done it for the Warren he had grown to love so much. Laya didn't have any
idea of what he'd had to give up when he became the Shadow. 

"God's you are so arrogant! I find it hard to believe that you and Tera are
related!" she spat back at him. 

Damn her!! She sure hit low. Well he'd had enough of this abuse. More than
enough. In her anger she wasn't showing much control over the sword she was
flashing in his face. Maybe Ash should teach her better, he thought, but
right now he was getting tired of having it brandished in his face. She'd
already cut him once and he didn't feel like being cut again. 

Quickly, before she could respond he brought his hand up hitting her wrist
hard enough to send the sword flying, then grabbed her arms, pinning them to
her side.

No he didn't care to hear anymore of her opinions of him, but how could she
defend the boy when in his self pitying little world, he had damned near
come close to making Tera lose her baby. 

Tera who had done nothing but defend the boy and tried to be his friend.
Tera who had cried on his shoulder because Kay had turned his back on her. 

Maybe it was his fault. Maybe if he had never come back to the Warren after
finishing his job... But Damn it!! Why did the boy have to take his anger
over Trap and use it against Tera... Because she was his sister?? Did that
make her the enemy now?

"That bastard nearly killed Tera's child!"

"It was an accident and you know it! With you it's all 'Me! Me! Me!' You use
people. You used your friends, lovers and even your own sister! You have no
idea what Tera went through when you left her at home. And you come back
into everyone's lives as if nothing has happened. You trample over people's
feelings and expect them to like it. You're sad. I don't even have pity for
someone like you, you don't deserve it. Kay is better off without that
bitch.  You and Danielle deserve each other. You both use people and are so
self centered you don't care how much you hurt others."

Anger flashed in his eyes as he raised his hand to strike Tahlaya. She stood
there defiantly and he pushed her away viscously. 

Trap had never hit a woman in his life before. But after listening to the
vissious attack from Laya, he'd come damned close. 

Fuming with anger over what he had almost done, Trap turned and walked away.
He had to get away from the spiteful little bitch before he gave into the
impulses running through him.

He was livid. The cut on his cheek stung furiously, but he didn't notice as
his anger burned.

Damn her!!

<<Diemis come get me!!>>

Selfish, arrogant, self-centered. That's what she had called him. He'd been
called worst before. But what really hurt was her saying what she had about
him using his sister and the rest of his family. 

Gods!!! Didn't she know how much he loved Tera!! Why he would do anything
for her and her new son. He could never do anything to hurt her, not if he
could help it. They were all he had. The two of them and Danielle....

His temper still hadn't cooled any by the time he had mounted the dark green
dragon and asked to be taken home.

"Trap? What's wrong?" 

Danielle was waiting there for him when he dismounted and stormed by her,
heading inside and to the drink cabinet. Once there he poured himself a
large glass of the amber liquid and downed it before he was able to face his
love.

"Stupid bitch," he swore after telling Danielle about his encounter with the
other rider. "And she calls herself Tera's friend?? What the hell does she
know about me or the way I had to live my life for the last few years. Does
she think I liked being forced to stay away from the people I loved. Doesn't
she realize that I had to do it to keep them safe and out of harms way?
...No!! I was off doing my own damn thing for the kicks... that's what she
thinks. That I turned my back on everyone and everything I cared about and
loved just to go off and prove what a big man I am."

He got up for the couch where he'd been sitting next to his mate and began
to move around the room. "She had the gull to accuse me of USING my sister
and the rest of them to get what I wanted. As if I would ever do that to
her. Besides the love in my heart I feel for you....Tera and Trebrin are the
only good things I have right now in my life..."

He stopped and turned to look at her. His anger had cooled some by now, but
she could still see the pain he was feeling.

"When I left here to go work undercover to try to bring down the raiders...I
had to give up everything in my life. Everything I held dear to me. Does she
think that was easy to do? To go night after night, never being able to hold
on to the one I loved, or to be able to comfort my sister when she was
feeling down? What the hell does she think I was doing out there all that
time. Living the grand life?? NO!! I was trying to do some good around here.
Trying to help the people who were being murdered and raped by these guys. I
guess it didn't matter to her that when I finally became the Shadow.. all of
the killing stopped. All of the rapes. "

"Trap it doesn't matter what she thinks," Danielle started to say but he cut
her off with a sad look.

"It wouldn't hurt me so much if it was just her love," he said. "But you've
seen it yourself when ever we walk around. People are scared of me. They're
just waiting for me to pull out a knife or a sword and turn it on them or
something stupid like that."

"I wasn't really excepting to come back and be hailed the homecoming hero...
but neither was I excepting to be made to feel like the criminal I was
pretending to be. It makes me really wonder if what I did even mattered. Was
it was worth everything I had to give up to try to help these people. That
girl Laya doesn't know a damned thing about me... not really and then to go
off on me like she did....I tell you Dallie, I've never hit a woman before
in my life... but I sure as hell came close to doing so today."

"She's very close to Kay," the blond said, not really trying to make an
excuse for the girl. "And you're with me and I left Kay to move in with you.
So she's got that against you as well. Just ignore her love. It doesn't
matter what she says."

"So aren't we allowed to be happy love?" he asked coming back to sit beside
her. "Or are we suppost to go on being miserable living a lie just so Kay
doesn't get hurt. What does she except us to do... pretend as if what we
feel for each other doesn't exist. She's allowed to be happy living and
loving Ash,... but you and I... aren't we allowed the same thing?"

-------------------

It was sometime before Trap finally cooled down enough to remember that they
were suppost to meet with his father after lunch.  Trap had thought about
warning Tera about the visit from their father... but he was unsure as to
what her response would be, so he planned on surprising her.

When the two of them arrived in the dining hall for lunch... Trap almost
wished they hadn't come at all. There to meet them was the man who had been
assigned to be Danielle's new patrol partner.

Damn it Why hadn't Sandor said anything to them about her being reassigned.
Granted she and he had never been formally paired off as partners... but
they had been patrolling together for the last few days.

"Gee...I wonder when Sandor was going to tell us about this," Trap whispered
in his loves ears so only she could hear. "I can't wait to hear who I've
been paired up to patrol with."

Lunch thankfully went by quickly. Though Trap was really getting tired of
the looks from every woman who past by this joker who was to be his mates
new partner. What was it they saw in him anyway.

When at last they were finished, Trap took his mates arm and led her out of
the hall and to the location where they were set to meet up with his father.

Bastine was waiting there with the older teacher.

"You coming with us to see Tera?" Trap asked his old friend.

"No... you go on boy," the man shook his head. "This should be time spent
with just the family. I'll go see her and the babe before I leave the Warren."
---------------------------

Tera
*******

"Well I don't see any reason you can't take Trebrin and go on home tonight
as soon as that son of mine gets off of patrol," Sarrine was telling her
when a knock came at the door.

Getting up the older woman went to answer it and a second later her brother
Trap entered.

Tera could tell something was wrong. "What is it Trap? What's wrong?"

"Nothing for you to worry yourself about little sister," he replied, but the
smile he wore was forced. "I have a surprise for you. A visitor who's come a
long way to see you."

"Who?" she asked.

He turned back to the door and told whoever it was that he should come in
now, and then stepped back as Bastine slowly made his way inside. 

The older man was afraid his daughter wouldn't want to see him. Not after
the way he had treated her after the death of her mother and his becoming
mates with Ammiel.

She couldn't believe her eyes when she saw him. Couldn't believe that he had
come all this way. Couldn't believe that he had wanted too.

"Papa?" her green eyes teared up. Her heart swelled with remembered love for
the way things used to be between them.  "Ammiel?"

"Gone daughter," he told her from where he stood near the door. He'd been
afraid to come any closer. "I'm so sorry child. I'm so sorry. I hope you can
find it in your heart to forgive me."

The girls eyes turned to look questionally at her brother, who only nodded
his head and smiled.

"Oh Papa!!" she cried and tried to pull back the covers and go to him, but
the man had already crossed the room and had his arms around her before her
feet could hit the floor. 

Trap turned to Danielle and held out his hand. "Come on love, let's let them
have sometime alone to talk."

"Trap.." Tera called out when she saw they were leaving. "Thank you."

"Anytime little sister. Anytime." he said and then he and Danielle turned
and walked out of the room.

"So did Trap tell you about my son...." they heard her saying as the door
closed behind them.

"You are a good man Trap," Danielle told him as they walked away. "Don't
ever let anyone tell you that you're not... Did you see the look on Tera's
face when she saw your father?"

If things were only that simple love, he wanted to tell her but kept the
thought to himself. 

------------------------------
Allen: Since I don't know when Ash will be coming home... Trap will be
around and easy to find. He has no idea that Laya fell and cut herself...
but at the same time he's NOT very happy about the cut on the cheek she gave
him nor the things she accused him off. But he does have a lot of respect
for Ash and will not be looking to fight him..

Kat: I hope I left enough open.. for Danielle to fill in ;)

<Trap> wonder if I'll ever get to go out on patrol and have a partner...hummmm?

*****Submitted by: *********
Barbara (a.k.a. 
Tera & Sundellath
Traplin & Diemis