Kalewyn 
***

>*I didn't want you to find out this way...* 

>*No. You didn't want me to find out.* Kitty glared, then finished off her
drink.

>"Miss! Another, please!" she called out, holding her empty glass aloft.

*Kitty!* he signed, then grabbed her hand, signing sharply with his free
hand, *No more! Let's talk.*

"Oh?" she asked, smiling at him with a sickly sweet, smile, full of anger
and bitterness, "Talk! Talk about a mate lying to a mate. Talk about a mate
sleeping with his old girlfriend in the name of 'help'!" She pulled her hand
away. The empty glass slipped from her fingers and went sailing across the
bar, shattering on the stone floor. Kitty turned to look at it in surprise.
Then she turned back to Kay, her face crumbling. "See what YOU made me do!
You lying bastard!"

 She lunged at him, and he moved to back away, only to find himself held
tightly by a huge bulk of a man with no hair and barrel chest, decorated
with a fiery tattoo. Kay turned to look at the man and shrank back at the
sheer size of him.

Even Kattibrie took pause for a moment at this giant who had come to her
aid.

"Is he bothering you?" the man's deep voice rumbled.

Kattibrie looked at the man for a moment, then back at Kay who was clearly
worried about being held tightly by him. She sighed and shook her head, "No
.." she murmured softly. "Just .. throw him out."

Kay's eyes widened, and he tried to sign his protest, but his arms were held
tightly.

The large man nodded, "My pleasure!" he literally picked Kay up and carried
him to the door, throwing him forcefully out into the darkening sky.

Kay hit the ground and winced in pain as his shoulder hit a rock. He slowly
turned over to look up at the man, "You don't come into Bull's Bar and start
trouble, you hear me!"

Kay pushed himself up and tried to sign a protest, but the man looked at him
much as all those ghosts of the past had looked at him. His cousins friends
.. his uncles herders .. none of them had ever had a kind word or even a
helping hand for him. And this man was no different. Kay knew if he tried to
get back in to see Kitty, they big man might likely kill him.

<I'll flame him!> Sabbith called hotly, but Kay quickly calmed the dragon.
No they were NOT going to go through that again!

Instead he stood and brushed himself off and headed toward his dragon. <Call
Dalanth or someone to come and pick her up .. I .. can't ..>

<I understand .. I'll find someone to help the queen's rider.>

<Tell them to hurry .. I don't know what that creep might do to her ..>

<Calishandra informs me that he is being very kind to her rider.>

<For now ..> Kay said and climbed on the crimson dragons back.

***

"He's gone, miss," Bull said as he moved toward Kattibrie who had gotten
herself yet another drink.

"Good!" she spit.

"Wimp .." Bull shrugged, "Didn't even try to defend himself. Not even a word
in his own defense."

Kattibrie looked at the man, about to explain that Kay didn't talk, but then
she just shook her head, "There is no defense .."

<<NRPG: Morgie, You can do whatever you like with Bull and with the message
Sabbith sent for help. Either have someone come or have Calishandra tell
them she's fine .. I leave it up to you to have fun with <G>>>

***

Sabbith landed at Kattibrie's queenrider apartment and Kay wandered in to
rest on the couch. Everything was crumbling around him, and there was
nothing he could do to stop it. Worse yet, he'd caused it all himself. How
did he possibly think he could make this work?

The problem, of course, had been that he hadn't been thinking .. at least
not with his brain! He had only wanted to help. But he hadn't helped one bit
.. not one bit. Now Trap hated him.. Kitty hated him. The only one who
didn't was Danielle, but she didn't count because she wasn't even living in
the real world!

Oh Gods! What had he done ..

<Umm .. Kay .. I think we have another problem ..>

<No .. no more problems .. please ..>

<Violet's rider is very angry at us. She is demanding you get to the
apartment and help her rider.>

<What now!> Kay was getting a bit irritated at Danielle's seeming neediness
.. she hadn't been this demanding before!

He pushed himself up, still feeling the ache in his shoulder. It was
probably bruising up and Danielle would want to know what had happened.. and
how could he possibly explain. Damn! Maybe he should just tell her the
truth! Maybe that would make things better. Maybe it was time for this
charade to be over!

He set his jaw and nearly marched with determination to Sabbith's side,
saddling himself up

Unfortunately the sight that met his eyes in the apartment was no where near
what he had expected. Danielle in tears over his absence, yes .. but
Danielle sitting with a blank stare amidst Kattibrie's shredded things! No,
this was certainly not what he had expected. Damn! He thought as he
remembered the boxes he'd shoved in the back of the closet because he'd run
out of time to move them.

He moved in front of her and signed, *Danielle?*

There was no reaction.

He shook her gently, but still she did not respond. He tried shaking her a
bit harder .. but it did nothing.

He grabbed her chin and forced her to look at him, but all that stared back
at him, where blank blue orbs .. It was clear that Danielle was not there.

<Sabbith ask Violet to talk to her rider.>

<She says Danielle isn't answering. And ummmm .. Kay .. she's very angry
with us.>

<Anger isn't going to help Danielle. Tell her I'll take her to the med
center ..>

<Violet doesn't want you to take her rider anywhere. She wants you to make
her come back.>

<I can't!> Kay growled. <She isn't even seeing me!>

<Violet isn't letting us out until we help ..>

***

By the wee hours of the next morning, Danielle still had not changed. Kay
had tried everything. Even trying to get her to respond to kisses and
caresses. But nothing helped. He'd moved her to the bed, where she had
fallen asleep. He'd cleaned up the shreds of Kattibrie's things .. and his
painting .. He'd loved that painting! And now it was destroyed. He'd felt it
had been one of his best .. and he'd probably never get another chance to
paint another.

He picked up a scrap of the canvas and felt a rush of sadness as he saw it
was a jagged tear across Kattibrie's face and he'd been so pleased at being
able to capture the feeling of love in her smile .. in her eye .. But now it
only seemed to mock him.

He held tightly to that scrap for a moment as he fought against the wave of
helplessness. How was he going to be able to help Danielle. She wouldn't
respond to anything! And Kattibrie .. How would things ever be right between
them again?

<Sabbith, you've got to talk to Violet. You've got to get her to let me take
Danielle to see the healers. I can't reach her. I've tried everything!>

<I'll try, Kay.>

Kay was so tired. He moved to the bed and lay down on his back beside
Danielle. The scrap of his painting dropped from his hand, settling onto the
floor. Soon he was asleep as well .. exhausted from the evening of emotional
turmoil.

***

It was the cheers of the dragons in his head that woke Kay later that
morning, as they excitedly races to the hatching grounds for the hatching.
Kay looked over at Danielle who was awake. For a moment he felt elation,
*Danielle?* he signed as he sat up. But once again her blank stare returned
nothing. Nothing had changed. He'd sat her all night with her. He'd tried
everything .. and NOTHING had changed!

Anger boiled up inside him, and he shook her. Still she did not respond.

*Damn it!* he signed in her face. *Gods! Danielle! I've tried everything!
I'm sorry for lying to you! I'm sorry for everything! But I can't go back! I
can't undo what I've done. Oh gods! Please.. Please just let me explain. Let
me tell you the truth. Let me tell you about Kattibrie and Trap and .. and
.. about that baby inside of you! Please Danielle .. Please ..*

He  collapsed in a heap on the floor, tears flowing down his face. It was
hopeless. There was nothing he could do.

<My Kay .. Violet will let us take her rider to the med center. I think the
hatching has softened her up.>

<She will?>

<Yes.>

Kay stood quickly and gathered the catatonic woman into his arms and hurried
toward his dragon.

***

Kay couldn't take the recriminating looks given to him by Sarrine after he
relayed what had happened to Danielle, so he left.

He thought about going to the hatching and seeing Kattibrie who was sure to
be there, but Sabbith informed him that Calishandra's rider still did not
want to see him. <We can still go to the hatching, my Kay. I do love
hatchings.>

<I'm not in the mood, Sabbith .. but if you want to ..>

<No, I'll stay with you. Would you like to go flying?>

<No .. > suddenly a thought struck him. <I'd like to see my mother.> he knew
there was no way his mother would be in the hatching cavern. She didn't like
crowds, so Timari would not have taken her.

And he was right. Timari smiled at him as he entered. *Kay. We haven't seen
much of you the last couple of days.*

He nodded, *I've been busy ..*

*I'm sure, I've seen how busy dragonriders can be.* There was no malice in
her face or in her signs. She probably didn't know how much everyone hated
him. Or about how horrible he had been lately.

*I wanted to see my mother.*

Timari nodded, *She's in her room. She met the nicest young lady the other
day in the med center. A deaf girl .. and they really hit it off ..*

Kay wasn't even listening as he walked past her into his mothers room. He
paused for a moment just looking at her. She wasn't the mother he
remembered. But it was clear she used to be. She sat on the floor beside the
tiny baby crib she kept her doll in. Gently rocking it and sign-singing to
it.

Kay shook his head. Gods how he hated that damn doll sometimes. He really
needed her to see *HIM* for a change.

He moved to kneel beside her, *Mama ..*

She gave him a fleeting glance then turned her attention back to the doll.

Timari had followed the young man and moved to sit on the bed behind the
woman. "Kashya, Kalewyn has come to see you. Wouldn't you like to talk to
him. Maybe even sing with him, as you did with Eleanora?"

Kay wondered briefly who this Eleanora was, but his mother kept his
attention as she looked up at Timari, *My 'K'* she signed then picked up the
doll she'd been rocking and hugged it tightly to her.

Kay stood, *She'll never ~see~ me .. will she?*

*It's just going to take time, Kay.*

*Time?* Kay asked, his frustration showing in his sharp signs. *I can't
wait! I need her now!*

*I know it's hard ..* Timari began, but Kay was beyond listening.

He snatched the doll from his mothers arms. She shrieked in horror. *I'm
Kay! I'm Kay!* Kay signed at her. *I'm your son! Not this .. this .. thing!*
He hurled the doll to floor, *ME! I'm your SON!*

Kashya scrambled past him, howling miserably as she clutched up the doll and
moved to hole up in a dark corner of the room. Kay moaned unhappily and
looked miserably at the floor.

He looked up when he felt Timari grab his arm and drag him out of the room.
She saw she had his attention and she began signing angrily. *What is the
matter with you! Did you just come here to upset her! You know that doll is
important to her!*

*It's just a doll! It's not me!* Kay signed back.

*You don't know what she's been through, Kalewyn! If she's ever going to get
better ..*

*BETTER!* Kay interrupted her. *She's NEVER going to get better! And you
know it! How long has it been, Timari? 10 years? She's .. never .. going to
get better!* And with that the young man stormed out of the apartment.
Timari shook her head and hurried back to Kashya's room where she was still
moaning in a scared weak voice.

***

Kalewyn hopped on Sabbith's back. Nothing was going right. Danielle was
catatonic because of him. Kattibrie wasn't speaking to him. He's scared his
poor sick mother .. Gods! What was wrong with him.

<Maybe if we leave for a while .. just a few days ..>

<Leave?>

<Just to give you time to clear your head. You are so upset, my Kay.>

<No .. you're right. Leaving is a good idea.>

<Just for a few days ..>

<Maybe ..>

Regards,
Kalewyn & Sabbith.
***
NRPG: Well guys, that writes Kay out of the action for a while. I need to
catch up on writing and it doesn't help with all these writing groups <G> So
consider Kay a lurker for now and maybe after a while, I can bring him back.

Kristen

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       \oo/     Kristen Gant
        ~~      (AKA: Waylene & Aura, Marrid Warren, Warrenlady
                      Meena & Vonn, Norwall Warren, Wingleader
                      Kalewyn & Sabbith, Telnor Warren, Dragonrider
                      Th'rin & Areena, Whiteriver Warren, Head Healer
                      Merybelle Barmen, City of Ralengarde, Innkeeper
                      Ce'lot & Britche, Xylain Warren, Wingleader
                      Saul & Fayloth, Jasra Warren, Searcher
                      Darlea & Makayla
                      Devon & Xanith
                http://homepage.interaccess.com/~sgant/Kris/kris.htm
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