From:
Andre Oliveira <oliveand@bellsouth.net> Date: Sun Jun 9, 2002 8:39
pm Subject: [DL-T] A day of firsts
Day 4
Late Noon
(Snip from "Battle of Depression and Dragon")
"I have some things here, that might fit," Soucivi looked worried, after
noticing her change in mood after seeing Tanda. "It should be enough to
get you back to the queenrider's apartments."
"Thank you." Ann replied a little too curtly as she accepted the
clothing from
him.
When she had finished dressing, she returned to the hallway, Soucivi was
gone, Ann assumed that he had more pressing things to do than wait on a
bumbling jr. Queenrider.
(end snip)
Soucivi had dashed out of the barracks, hoping to still be able to catch
Tanda before she disappeared again. Luckily, he spotted her walking
towards the trees, away from the warren.
"Tanda!" Soucivi yelled, as he ran after the fleeing girl. "Tanda wait!"
"Go away! I don't want to talk to you right now!" she raged, stomping
furiously. "Or ever again for that matter!"
Darting forward, Soucivi caught up to the fuming young woman and tried
to block her path. She glared hatred at him and attempted to go around.
Soucivi stepped in front of her again and spread his arms, desperately
trying to make her stop.
"Get out of my way!" she yelled.
"Tanda, stop for a second, will you?" Soucivi pleaded.
"No!" she spat "Not for you!"
She ducked under his arm and tried to run to the shelter of the trees.
Unfortunately, before she had taken more than a few steps, she felt
fingers clamp on her wrist. Turning around, she saw Soucivi holding her,
begging her to stay with his eyes.
"Let go!" she screamed.
Tanda tried to shake herself free, but it soon became obvious that her
pursuer was not going to let go. Infuriated, she sealed her mouth and
looked away, avoiding his gaze.
"Why are you doing this?" he asked desperately.
She didn't even flinch.
Soucivi pleaded to the girl a few more times, hating how pathetic he
sounded. Why was she doing this to him? He didn't deserve any of it! All
that he had been trying to do from the very beginning, was make her like
him! And this is how she treats him?
Blood began rushing to his head and he involuntarily began gritting his
teeth. He pleaded Tanda to look at him once more, and when she still
refused to acknowledge him, he snapped.
"Did you just decide how much fun it would be to make me miserable one
day?" he bellowed. "Is that it? Am I just something for your amusement?"
He grabbed her shoulder and forced her to face him. "I bet that's it
right, huh? I'm just your little plaything that you mess around with!
You don't care at all how you may make me feel, right?"
His temples throbbed painfully as he threw her arm away, like she was
filth. Let her walk away! He had his fill of her! If she wanted to leave
so much, why should he stop her? He wouldn't care anymore! He wouldn't!
He wouldn't!
"Liar!" came a voice in the back of his mind, "You would care! You'd
care so much you'd crumble like ash! You're pathetic!"
He felt like crying. The pain was there. The blurriness in his eyes was
there. The want was there. It just wouldn't come! Why couldn't he cry?
Meanwhile, Tanda's arm had fallen lifelessly at her side with a soft
slap to her leg. She stood like a rag doll for a fraction of a second.
Her expression dull... lifeless. Then to Soucivi's complete surprise,
her face contorted into something unrecognizable. Instead of her usual
pretty features, Tanda's face had turned a shade of violent crimson, her
lips became thin little lines as she bit them, and she seemed to stare
right through him with eyes swelling with tears. Every ounce of her
quivering body radiated hatred.
"How... you feel?" she blurted out, " Let me tell you a little bit of
how I feel, you jerk! I practically throw myself at you the other day,
and then you flat out reject me! How do you think I felt about that?
Huh? Oh and then after that, you act all smug during the training! How
do you think that made me feel?" she said stepping closer. Her hands
shaking slightly in rage, "I bet girls just throw themselves at you!
Don't they? Don't they you inconsiderate bastard!" finding an outlet for
her hands, she began poking violently at his bare chest. "You... you
bastard!" she repeated.
Soucivi backed away, stunned. "No... No it's not like that! No one has
ever...."
"Yeah right! Liar!" she accused, tears falling down her face. "You just
said all that stuff about wanting to be my friend, so you wouldn't have
to deal with the little girl from the party anymore! You wanted to get
rid of me! Look at you! Not even an entire day has gone by since
you...since you..." Tanda flushed and stopped like she was about to say
something she would regret. " Since you made a complete fool of me," she
corrected, beginning to tremble with emotion again, " and you're already
sleeping with that... that..." she said pointing back to the barracks,
"that woman!" she spat.
Biting her lower lip Tanda looked at Soucivi's face, anger and
self-disgust flooding her facial expressions. "You want to talk about
feelings? Then how about this? I feel like the most idiotic person in
the world right now! I feel like such a little girl! A little ugly
girl! Crying over nothing! And do you know why?" she began poking his
chest again, "Do you even have a clue, you stupid oaf? Do you?"
"I...I..." Soucivi mumbled as he tried to comprehend what Tanda was
telling him.
"Because of how I feel about you, you buffoon!"
Realizing what had just escaped her mouth she, too late, slapped her
mouth shut and her eyes swelled in disbelief. "I can't believe I just
said that," she whispered taking a few steps back, her eyes never
leaving his, seeming to look like they were about to break.
Soucivi was beyond feeling stupefied. Titanic emotions, clashing against
one another and leaving his mind in a lost state, raged inside his
heart. Joy! A joy more filling than he had ever known in his deprived
life, filled his being. It felt deliriously good! A girl liked him!
Tanda liked him! It just felt so good to know that!
Yet, at the same time, a damned fear mortified his being. A fear that
said that if he didn't do something incredibly brilliant she was as good
as gone.
"Why don't you just leave me alone? " she whimpered pathetically, "I was
a lot better off without you around."
She turned around and folded her arms over her chest. Soft sobs reached
Soucivi's ears as she walked away.
A thousand million ideas on what to do irrupted inside Soucivi's mind as
soon as he heard Tanda crying, each one more desperate for superiority
than the last. Ironically the one idea that made the most sense was not
one that originated inside his head.
<Why don't you just tell her that you think she's pretty? > Dargen said
innocently, <That's always nice to know. >
"Tanda, " Soucivi whispered before he realized what he was doing, "/I
/think you're pretty..."
She stopped walking away and raised her head. "What did you say?" she
asked between sniffles.
Dargen's innocence melted away as Soucivi began thinking by himself
again. "I mean, I don't think you're an ugly little girl," he corrected,
a little more than red faced, "and I'm not trying to get rid of you either."
Tanda wiped her eyes and turned around, "Y-you don't?"
"No, I... Tanda, about how I acted during the training..." he laughed
sheepishly before he continued, "I thought girls liked to be friends
first. I mean I..." Soucivi stopped again and looked at Tanda suddenly
feeling his heart start beating like a lunatic drum, "Tanda, what you
just said, about how you feel, I... uh..." he stopped, unsure if he
could say the words.
" What?" she said tilted her head in confusion. Then, in understanding,
hope lighted up her eyes, "What about how I feel about you?" she said
with a smile beginning to form on her face.
"I...I..." Soucivi mumbled. Why did she have to look at him like that?
"Uh huh! You can tell me!" a definite smile on her lips now.
"A-at the party... I.. I..."
"Tell me already!" Tanda snapped, sounding both afraid and angry.
Soucivi clamped his eyes shut and managed to yelp, "I feel the same way
about you!"
He felt his entire body tighten. He couldn't move, couldn't breathe, and
couldn't think. All that he could do was wait, petrified, listening to
his heart go out of control in his throbbing ears. Time seemed to become
immeasurable.
Then all at once he felt arms wrap lovingly around him, a soft body
press against his, a cheek rest on shoulder, and between sobs and
sniffles a tiny voice laugh softly.
Panic started to swell in his mind. No one... no one had ever, ever held
him like this. Tanda was holding him! She was happy! And she was happy
because of him! It didn't feel true!
Sniffling, Tanda looked up at Soucivi and smiled. He felt like goo.
"I thought you didn't like me," she said, eyes slightly redden. She
smiled and rested her cheek on his shoulder again, holding him even
tighter. " I thought..." she giggled, "I thought you were just playing
with me," she sighted contently, "I'm sorry I called you a jerk."
Unsure of what to do, Soucivi stood completely stiff. His whole body was
on fire, especially where he could feel Tanda touching his bare skin!
Just her hands were causing an inferno on his back!
<Rider? > Dargen asked, < I think this would be a good time to hug her
back. >
Suddenly, it dawned on Soucivi that he hadn't hugged anyone since his
mother. It seemed wrong to not hold anybody for over three years.
He began to raise his arms to put them around Tanda's shoulders, when
suddenly she pushed him away from her like he was indeed on fire.
"What about that girl?" she yelled. Panic streaming from her face. "The
one back at the barracks! The one wearing nothing but your shirt! Who
was she?"
Soucivi could feel the blood go cold in his veins. He had completely
forgotten about Ann.
"Tanda, I didn't have sex with her!" he stated unconvincingly, "She was
in the woods and she was..." Soucivi stopped himself. He had promised
Ann he wouldn't mention what he had seen her like.
"In the woods? In the woods!" she repeated angrily, " What sort of idiot
do you think I am?"
"Tanda, please trust me," he pleaded, "I didn't have sex with her. She's
the new jr. queen rider. Remember the queen that flew this morning?" he
said hoping that was enough to make sense for her, "It was hers."
Tanda's expression slowly changed from rage, to disbelief, to confusion.
"Then how come she came back with you?" she asked, "I mean, its not like
Dargen could have possibly caught her dragon. Shouldn't she have been
with the rider of the male that caught her queen?"
"Uh..." Soucivi said thinking about that fact for the first time, "Would
you believe me if I said, I don't know why she was alone?"
Tanda eyed Soucivi carefully, like she was looking for something that
would say that he was lying. Then her face brightened and she smiled.
"I'm starting to think you're not bright enough to come up with a decent
lie."
Soucivi smiled, relieved.
Tanda smiled again and bit unsure of what to do now, held her hands
behind her back as she turned her face to the floor, blushing. Rocking
on the balls of her feet she finally said, "Listen, I was heading over
to the Dining Hall to help with the party decorations." She looked up
from the floor and into Soucivi's eyes, "I'm sure you were headed
somewhere too, so maybe later, at the party...we can dance together?"
The grin on Soucivi's face became so unbearably painful as he said, "I
think I'd like that." that he wasn't sure how he managed to make his
lips move.
"Great!" Tanda cheered. "So I'll see you there!" she said as she started
skipping backwards towards the hall, "I'm sure you're a great dancer!"
She turned around, took another step, and then turned around again, "But
lets not drink any punch today, okay?"
Soucivi laughed a bit. "Okay."
" 'Kay," she said a little more slowly as she stopped walking. "Soucivi?"
"Yes?"
She smiled again and shook her head, "Never mind."
Smiling, Soucivi waved a small goodbye and began walking back to the
barracks. He had just enough time to think about what Tanda had wanted
to ask him when he heard running feet, crushing the soft grass just
behind him. Turning around to see what it was, he was tackled to the
floor and wrapped in a tight embrace.
It was not how he'd pictured his first kiss... but it wasn't bad.
Submitted by:
Andre Oliveira
aka
Soucivi and Dargen