<My rider did you forget that you have to go see Cricket's rider now that
your training is over for the morning?> Doshayne asked her rider as the
blond started to walk into the dining hall. 

Shawnee who was walking beside the tall red-head Wingleader, stopped and
groaned.

"What is it Shawnee? Are you hurt?" T'jellan asked, his bearded face showing
concern.

"No...Doshy just reminded me that I have to go see Trinale," she told him.
"She had Cricket ask Doshy to have me come by after training and I forgot."

She had wanted to forget. Shawnee didn't know how she would face the woman
who's Queen had been won by Fayloth last night. Something must have shown in
her face, because T'jellan's next words were comforting.

"It'll be all right little one," he assured her. She just wants to talk to
you about what happened last night with K'leev."

"But after... What happened this morning with...Saul.... she's going to
think..." 

"No little one, Trinale will understand," he brought his hands to rest on
her shoulders. "It's a way of life here, she'll understand your fears and
won't blame you for walking away from that jerk."

"Oh gods T'jellan.... What am I going to do?" her voice broke and tears
spilled from her eyes. "Why couldn't I have just let things keep going the
way they were?... I love him so much... Why couldn't he have loved me if
even just a little?"

"Because he's an idiot!" the man said pulling her into his arms, letting her
get it all out.

After a minute or two she took a deep breath and pulled slightly away, but
not out of his arms. Her hands moved up to wipe away her tears.

"No... I was the idiot," she said sadly. "He warned me right from the
start... I was the one who broke the rules... and now I'm paying for it."

With that said she turned and walked away, so she didn't see the frown on
the big man's face.

-----------

"Come in!" She heard Trinale call out after she'd knocked on the door to the
Warrenlady's office.

"By the Gods...." the younger girl swore, as she got up out of her chair and
came around to the front of the desk. "Did K'leev do that to you?"

Shawnee knew she was looking at the dark bruises, coloring the side of her
face and flinched as she remembered how it came to be there.

"It happened when he grabbed me and we fell to the floor of Barry's
apartment," Shawnee told her, her aqua eyes downcast, as she was unable to
meet the other woman's eyes.

"Did you have it looked at by a healer?"

"No... I didn't... It's fine ... really." She stammered. 

"I still think you should have it looked at," Trinale frowned. 

"Maybe later."

Knowing that was the best answer she was going to get, the young girl moved
back behind her desk and resumed her sat. "Why don't you have a seat and
then I'd like for you to tell me what happened...last night."

What happened last night....Shawnee nearly laughed. What happened... well
it's like this...she wanted to say....I needed Saul to help me... but he was
off making love to you in the bushes somewhere without even a thought about
me... What happened last night... A vile dirty man tried to rape me because
the man I love wasn't around to protect me...the man who doesn't love me...
not even a little.

That's what she wanted to say... but she knew it wasn't fair to blame the
red-headed Warrenlady for things beyond her control. It wasn't as if she
planned for her Queen to rise at that moment or to have Fayloth win..

She took the seat that was offered, using that time to pull the shield
around her heart. 

"I'll have to start at the beginning...what happened earlier..."

"However it'll be easiest for you."

Shawnee started out telling her about the shock of seeing her mother and the
woman's nasty accusations. Then of how K'leev had backed her up and the
fight between him and Saul that had almost ensued because 
of it. 

"...That's when your Queen...." she couldn't say the words. Her eyes fell to
take in her hands, unable to meet the green eyes of the woman behind the
desk. She felt real uncomfortable talking to her about this.

"....Rose to mate," Trinale finished for her, and at that moment Shawnee
came close to hating her... but the concern in the woman's voice when she
next spoke made Shawnee realize she hadn't meant to hurt her.

"Shawnee...is that why you and Saul...?" she started to ask, but Shawnee
chose that moment to continue with her story.

She heard the question asked but she didn't want to talk about it, not now
and not to this woman. It hurt to much thinking about her break up with the
handsome dragonrider. 

"When...the Queen rose... the fight ended... they.. walked away and the next
thing I knew Merissa was there and took me away from my mother and...."

The anger she had always felt for the woman who had born her, rose up and
threatened to overwhelm her. She was scared to death that the woman...her
mother would be given the children and be allowed to take them from the Warren.

"I didn't know what to do, or who to turn to," she went on. "I remembered
T'jellan telling me the last time K'leev tried to ... force me to mate ..
with him.."

"What do you mean the last time!?!" came Trinale's anger question. "Has he
tried to do this before?"

When she saw Shawnee nodded her head she asked, "And why wasn't it reported?"

"I didn't think he'd try it again after T'jellan warned him to leave me alone."

"T'jellan.... and where was Saul? Why didn't he say something?"

"He didn't know until later and he wasn't in any condition to do anything
about it at the time. K'leev would have killed him. It happened
right after Saul had been injured during the last wraith attack. But he was
angry later when Fayloth told him about it."

"Go on," Trinale wasn't pleased with this at all.

She went on to tell her about running to Barry's and finding the tailor gone
and then turning to find K'leev standing there and what followed.
She felt sick to her stomach and didn't want to talk about what happened
next but knew she had too. The very thought of that man's hands touching her
body, or the way his lips had crushed hers. It made her feel dirty. 

"Just take your time Shawnee," her voice was kind. "He can't hurt you anymore."

By the time she had gotten to the part where T'jellan had arrived to pull
the drunken rider off of her, Shawnee just wanted to leave the room. She
didn't want to stay here and have the other woman see her break down.

"He won't bother you again Shawnee," Trinale promised. Her voice still held
her anger. "I promise you that."

"I'd rather you promise me that you won't let Owlean take Fawna and Ojean,"
this time her aqua eyes came up and meet the green eyes of the Warrenlady.
"She can't be allowed to take them away from me. You have to help me,
please!! I'm begging you. You remember what condition they  were in when
Sa... when we were brought here. Fawna was so sick that she almost died, and
it's all because the town wouldn't help us because she was our mother."

She had to stop to take a breath before going on. "I don't feel that what I
did keeping them away from her last night was wrong. She doesn't love them.
She left them and didn't even care what happened to them when she was gone.
It's taken her this long to come looking for us. Probably only because her
latest boyfriend dumped her and she thought she'd have it easy here. That's
got to be the only reason she wants the children. So she won't be asked to
leave."

The anger that she felt towards the woman who bore her, was mixed up in her
tears of fright. She was scared to death that Owlean would somehow get the
kids and take them away from here. From the first real home they had ever
had. A home where they were treated as a part of a larger family. Where they
had begun to come out of there shells and trust.

It would be a cruel joke to suddenly strip them of all this just because of
some scam of their mothers. Shawnee wouldn't let that happen. She'd leave
here and take them with her before Owlean could harm them again. Doshayne
would be flying soon and then no one would be able to stop her.

"Please M'lady!!! There has to be something you can do to help them."

"I believe there might be a way," she said but didn't elaborate. "I'll have
to talk to her first and then decide. But please don't worry."

Knowing she'd have to trust the woman to keep her word, Shawnee nodded her
head and stood up to leave.

"Shawnee... I heard about.. you and Saul..."

Shawnee's heart went cold. Her hands curled into fist, nails digging into
the palms, but she was beyond feeling any pain, except for the one in her
broken heart.

"You didn't do this because of the mating flight..."

""No M'lady.... I broke the rules...I feel in love with him and he didn't
feel the same way.... I couldn't settle for less."

-------------

She was a little late getting back to the dining hall, the kids had already
eaten and left. She found out from T'jellan who was still there that Barry
was taking the kids back for their afternoon classes.

"And he said he would be sure to tell the teacher if your mother shows up
that she's not to take your siblings anywhere. She's to sent for someone if
Owlean tries."

"Thank you. You don't know how much I appreciate your helping me with this,"
she reached out and touched his arm. "I don't know what I would have done
with out you."

"Someone would have helped you little one," he told her as his large hand
moved to cover hers. "You have more friends here in the Warren than you
might think. Your kindness had touched a lot of hearts."

"Shawnee?"

At the sound of her name being said, The blond turned to find Merissa
standing there, an empty plate in her hand.

"I was wondering if I could talk to you for a bit?" the Queenrider asked. 

Shawnee looked up at the man beside her, and saw him nod his head. "Talk to
her. She'll understand more about the problems you're having with your
mother that anyone else. Remember what I said about your having friends here?"

Shawnee nodded her head and then on impulse stood up on tip toes and brushed
her lips against his bearded cheek. "I'm glad you're my friend."

"I am too little one," he smiled warmly down into her eyes. "And hope you
will always count me as such." 

Then he turned to go and left the two women alone.

Shawnee turned back to face Merissa after the tall Wingleader was out of
sight. "What is it that you wanted to talk to me about? If it's about K'leev
and what happened last night... I've already told Trinale about that."

"No it's not about that..." the girl said. "But if you ever do need to talk
about it, I hope you know you can always come to me."

"Thank you."

"I wanted to talk to you about your mother," Merissa frowned.

"I didn't know she was coming here," Shawnee said quickly. "I don't care if
I never saw her again."

"I'll bet," the girl laughed without humor. "So... maybe if we talk about it
you can help me come up with a way for us to make her want to
leave...without the kids!"

"You would do this for me?" Shawnee asked, a hugh question in her eyes. "Why?"

"Let me tell you about my own mother and maybe you will understand better,"
Merissa's smile was bordering on wicked. "Shall we go somewhere and talk
before you have to go back to training?"

----------------

<Doshayne> Mother do you really think your rider can help my human?

<Chrysthal> I know she will try. Maybe together they will find a way.

<Doshayne> I hope so. I hate to see her so sad... Mother? What is this
*love* that human's feel that makes them so happy one minute and so sad and
unhappy the next.?>

<Chrysthal> Ah daughter...if it was only so easy to explain......
---------------------------

When the afternoon training was over Shawnee headed right for the dining
hall. She's had to miss lunch with her siblings and Byrin, but wasn't going
to miss having dinner with them.

She had asked her dragon if Fayloth had arrived back in the Warren, wanting
only to let Saul know that his son had stayed behind, but was told they
brilliant blue dragon and his rider still had not returned from where ever
they had gone earlier.

The kids were already sitting at a table and it looked to her like they had
just sat down to eat.

"Shawnee!!!" Fawna called, being the first one to spot her. "You made it
this time."

"Well of course I did Angel," she didn't have to force the smile that
crossed her lips when she reached out and picked the little girl up. "I told
them that I had to leave training early today cause I was having dinner with
my two favorite little people."

"Three favorite!!" Fawna said. "Byrin is one of my favorite so he counts too."

"And right you are," her eyes held a twinkle for a brief moment until they
meet the deep blue eyes that reminded her of his father. She had to force
herself not to show the hurt she was felling. After all Byrin was in no way
to blame. "My Three favorite ... well two little people and one almost grown
person."

"Have you seen Saul, Shawnee?" the boy asked. "I still haven't been able to
tell him that Mom let me stay and extra week."

"I'm sorry Byrin," she told him and really was. "I asked Doshy if Saul and
Fayloth were back yet when I was coming in, and she said they were still
gone. But I'm sure they should be back soon."

"You don't know where he's gone?" the boy asked.

"No..." she took a deep breath and turned to look over at Barry. She could
see the concern in the older man's eyes and knew that he had already heard
of their break up. Then she turned back to Saul's son.
"He and I aren't seeing each other any longer."

"Why? I thought you loved him," Byrin looked confused. 

"I do. But we just wanted different things. But that doesn't mean that he
won't want to see you," she assured him. "I'm sure once he's back he'll be
happy that you wanted to stay."

"Ah...here you are," a voice said from behind them and Shawnee turned to see
L'rian, Saul's patrol partner standing there Caliban. She noticed the
trainer had changed before coming to the dining hall. "I thought for sure
I'd fine Saul here with you. Will he be joining you soon?"

"Not tonight," Shawnee heard herself saying. She wasn't ready to tell the
man she wasn't seeing the dragonrider any longer. He would find out soon
enough. She just wasn't ready for his questions. Not yet. "And I 'm not sure
where he is or when he's coming back."

Something in her tone of voice must have alerted the man that something
wasn't right, but he was kind enough not to ask. That wouldn't last long.
His glance moved to take in the boy sitting at the table with them.

"New to the Warren?" he asked Byrin, who flushed unsure of what to say. 

"L'rian.. Cali.. This is Byrin. Saul's son."

(Tag: Les... hope you don't mind... but Byrin had to meet someone. And it'll
soon become common knowledge who he is.....

---------------------------------------------------

Nrpg: Arlene, Shawnee will be happy to tell you all about her mother and
what her life was before she and the kids were brought to the Warren... But
if you ask her about Saul... she'll likely break down and have a god cry. 

Kat: Shawnee will feel a little uncomfortable talking to Trinale about her
break up with Saul... but she doesn't blame her for it.  Owlean will be
coming in to see talk to her about making Shawnee give her kids back... 

Morgie.... if you want to do something between them after they are both back
in the hatchling barracks... Shawnee's not so deep in her own grief that she
won't notice Aradia is upset about something herself.... she can listen and
comfort too... for a friend.

Kris... Shawnee might find getting over her handsome dragonrider harder than
she thinks... but she won't give in... and will be hurt if she finds out
where he spent the day.. :)

****Submitted by: ******

Barbara (a.k.a.

Shawnee & Doshayne
Fawna & Ojean
Barry the tailor
Whiteriver Warren