> *Leave me alone!* the voice repeated, this time more familiar, and he
> jerked up preparing himself for the words that would follow.
> 
> "T'jellan?" Ashelle asked suddenly worried at the pained expression that
> covered his face. "What's the matter?"
> 
> He sat up looking at her with a glassy eyed stared, *Leave me alone! Find
> someone *else* to replace Shawnee in your bed!*
> 
> ".. Oh Gods .." he breathed.
> 
> "T'jellan .." Ashelle's voice persisted ..
> 
> "I .. I'm so sorry .. I .. didn't mean to .." his eyes focused on her,
> "Ashelle, I didn't mean to hurt her .."

   Ashelle looked very confused, and moved to run her fingers along
T'jellan's face.

   "What are you talking about?  Hurt who?  You could never intentionally
hurt anyone.  And...why, you're crying, T'jellan!  What has you so upset?"

   She sat up, ignoring the fact that her tunic was almost around her
neck, and simply tugged the upset rider against her.  "All right...so I
said the past didn't worry me...but if it has you this upset, then it
does.  Won't you tell me what has you so upset?"

   T'jellan looked at Ashelle..still trying hard to convince himself that
she was WAY too young, and again failed in the attempt.  But she seemed to
really and honestly care, and he suprised himself by wrapping his arms
around her, almost fearful of letting go.

   "You won't like it, Ashelle..."

   "Tell me, T'jellan...or I'll start tickling you again.  It hurts me to
see you this upset, and I want to help if I can."

   Looking at the young girl..no..woman, in front of him, T'jellan sighed
softly, and in bits and pieces, and with much hesitation and lots of hugs
and soft words from Ashelle, managed to get the story out.  Then he looked
at her, certain she now hated him.

   Ashelle sat silently for a few moments, wanting to get the words right
in her head before speaking them. She didn't want to scare him off by any
means!

   "T'jellan, you're a man,"  Her fingers moved to shyly pat his lap, and
his gasp of suprise made her chuckle.  "yup...definately a man.  And men
do things that make sense at times but don't later.  Damn..even women
do...and that happens much more often, at least my Mother said so.
Look...I mean this even more now than when I first said it.  It doesn't
matter to me.  I like *you*, not your mistakes, not your past, *you*!"

   Her eyes sparkled as she felt tears slipping past her lashes, and her
expression mirrored his.  Both felt pain in their own ways...him, from
guilt and pent-up anguish; her, from seeing *him* in pain.

   "T'jellan...you're here now, with me.  I'm in the present.  I'm real,
not a memory."  She reached for his hand, and placed it against her
breast.  "I'm real, and I want to be here for you if you need me to be.
I'm not asking you to be my roommate, or for marriage or commitment.  I'm
simply offering to be a friend, or whatever else you need.  You're a very
sweet man, and I like being with you."

   The guilt-ridden man looked at the woman in front of him, and found
himself in disbelief.  Was this pure dumb luck?  Was she actually serious?
Or was she simply toying with him and his feelings?  "I feel like I'd be
using you, Ashelle."

   Ashelle shook her head quickly.  "That's in your mind.  If I didn't
want to be here, I wouldn't be.  If I didn't care, I wouldn't be talking
to you like this, or feeling so worried over your upset.  You can only use
those that aren't willing, T'jellan.  Do you see me running the other way
after hearing what you just told me?  No.  And I won't."

   << Silly man!  You can't see a good thing even if its in your lap, can
you?  If she was a dragon, *I* wouldn't turn her away!  She understands,
and she cares...and contrary to what you seem to think...she's not afraid
of you either!  Now you don't need *my* approval...if she makes you
happy...let her! >>

   Ashelle sighed softly, and tugged T'jellan backwards. She ended up
laying on the ground, and held him as he laid atop her.  "Now...where were
we?"

[Tag: Kris! ]

-------------

Jeanette
Ashelle/Oaklah * Whiteriver