T'jellan
***
<<Evening - Day 9>>

The large red head stepped into the young woman's hospital room and watched
her in silence for a moment. He hadn't come to see her earlier, in fact
he'd been avoiding her for a very long time. But now, with Liv here in the
warren .. and his son's surprising announcement regarding his feelings for
the girl .. as well as his talk with Shawnee .. well everything was
beginning to get to him. Things he'd thought he'd put behind him ..
memories that he'd thought never to remember again.

He'd watched Tevel leave her room and head further down the hall where his
mother was recovering from her wraith burns, and something drew him in ..
perhaps it was guilt. Perhaps it was something else entirely. Whatever it
was .. he soon found himself standing at her bedside, her hand in his ..
and tears flowing down his ruddy face.

He sat beside the bed, in the chair Tevel had occupied nearly the entire
time since Ashelle had been brought in. He clasped her hand to his face,
murmuring, "I'm so sorry .. I never meant for this to happen .. never ..
meant .."

He buried his face on her hand and sobbed, not even noticing as the girl
woke and looked down at him, "T'jellan .."

Her voice was weak and hoarse, but his head shot up and he met her
mismatched eyes.

"What's .. going on .." Ashelle asked.

He shook his head, "I'm sorry .. There was an accident and you were hurt."

"And you came to see me?" a smile played on her bruised face.

"No .." he said, "Umm I mean yes .. but .. actually Tev's been here most of
the time. I .." he frowned, "I've been avoiding you."

"Where's Tevel?"

"With his mother."

Ashelle nodded, grimacing at the pain of even the simple movement. "Why are
you here?"

He shrugged and realized he was still holding her tear soaked hand. He
quickly released it, "I .. just needed to see you."

"Really? Why?"

There was fear or was it hope, in her voice. He knew he couldn't let her
get the wrong idea again. He had to tell her the truth. "Ashelle, I've been
wrong. I should never have let anything happen between us, and I apologize
for everything."

He groaned, "It's just .. such a long story, and I .. I failed again."

"Please T'jellan, Please explain what I was to you? I thought you cared."

"Oh Ashelle, I do care .. It's just .."

"Is it because of Tevel's mother? Do you still love her?"

T'jellan looked up at her, tears still sparkling in his eyes, "I .. I will
always love her."

Ashelle nodded in resignation, making T'jellan feel even worse. "I'm not
such a great man, Ashelle. If you knew the real me .."

"I want to know."

"No you don't. You deserve so much better. Someone who won't taint you with
his flaws the way I have already. Someone who can love you completely .."

"I don't understand, T'jellan, please explain to me why .."

He nodded, "I guess I owe you that much." He stood and moved a few paces
away from her, "I was a foolish young man. Liv was my best friend. My soul
mate. We did everything together. And I always knew that when the time was
right, she would be my mate. She knew it too. We used to talk about it ..
and finally when we were both 17, her parents agreed to allow our union."

"You got married?"

He shook his head, "No, very few warrenfolk actually marry. But we became
mates and made a home together. And we were happy .. for awhile." His voice
broke, and he seemed unable to continue.

"What happened?"

"Her name was Portia. She was Olivia's only sister, and 3 years her junior.
I'd never paid much mind to her. She was simply a little pest who tried to
follow us around. I guess I should have paid more attention. Portia was a
beauty. Even at 14. But she was a hellfire. That girl had more spunk and
get up and go then anyone I've ever known. And when she saw something she
wanted, she went after it."

"She wanted you?"

T'jellan shrugged, "Maybe, but what I think she really wanted was what her
sister had. It really made no sense. She was so pretty, there were always
boys hanging around her. But something about the life that Liv and I had ..
I don't know. I guess she decided that's what she wanted. She would come to
our apartment and just sit there with us .. until we finally would have to
send her home, just to get a moment's peace.

"On day I came home and Liv wasn't there. She'd left a note saying she
would be working late at the weaver's shop. So I decided to make my own
dinner. Portia showed up and asked if she could make it for me. So I let
her ..

***
"You shouldn't have to cook for yourself, T'jellan," the girl laughed
merrily. "Not when you have me around."

"Well I certainly won't turn down a meal .. I'd probably have burned it."

"Probably," she giggled.

The young man watched her as she pranced around the kitchen. Unable to
avoid looking at the curve of her young body as she swayed it in front of
him. He reminded himself that she was his mates sister, and that he
shouldn't be thinking such thoughts .. but her every movement seemed to
entice him.

Finally she set a plate in front of him, rubbing against him as she did,
"How does it look?" she smiled down at him.

He swallowed, licking his lips  as he stared at her, then looked down at
the food, "Umm .. looks good, thanks."

He turned all his attentions to the plate, refusing to look up at the girl
as her presence was becoming uncomfortable.

She watched him eat for a moment in silence, before speaking again. "You
know, you are very handsome T'jellan .. all the girls think so."

"They do?" he asked, not really wanting to discuss this.

"Sure they all think Liv is very lucky to have you." She stood and moved
closer, placing a small hand on his shoulder, just as she'd watched her
sister do a million times. "I agree .."

Her voice was barely a whisper and he looked up at her as she leaned down
and kissed him, fully, deeply on the lips.

He pushed her back, "Portia!"

"What?"

"What are you doing?"

"I want to show you how much I love you. Let me show you how much .."

"No .." he said pulling back a bit.

"Aren't I pretty enough?" she asked with a pout. She flashed her hips at
him, and moved to begin to unbutton her blouse, "Do you like me?"

"Portia .. this is .. wrong. I'm mated to your sister."

"I know," the girl whispered, "I've watched the two of you, T'jellan, and I
want to make you as happy as she does." The girl, barely 14 years old took
his hand and placed it on her just budding breast. "I'll let you love me,
T'jellan."

Again she kissed him and he felt his body stir as his hand burned on her
breast. It was so stimulating .. Young Portia was so like Liv had been when
they'd first discovered the pleasures of the flesh. Has then only been 14
then? Perhaps 15?

They'd both been shy .. scared .. and awkward. There was nothing awkward
about Portia's advances though. It was clear she'd definitely been paying
attention ..

He found himself forgetting it was Portia and thinking only of feel of her
young body .. remembering the early times with Liv. He kissed her back,
harder and she smiled, moving to unbutton his shirt.

He pushed her back against the table and then to the floor as he kissed
her, and let his hands explore her body. He pushed her skirt up to her
waist and pulled at her panties, then reached for his own pants and slipped
out of them. His hardened manhood slapped against her thigh as he pressed
down against her.

The girl squirmed beneath him, and her nails dug into his back, "Wait .."
she whispered,

But he paid no attention as he took position to finish what she had started.

"T'jellan please .." she said her voice trembling, not with passion, but
with fear. "Stop!"

Still he pushed on. Taking his pleasure in the body that only moments ago,
she'd been offering freely. He grunted as his thrusts came faster and
faster.

".. no .. no .. no .." the girl beneath him sobbed.

Soon it was over and his released spilled into her. Only then did he begin
to hear her unhappy sobs ..
***

"I didn't stop, Ashelle .." the big man was sobbing openly now. "I raped
her .."

"T'jellen, "Ashelle whispered in shock at his confession. "What happened?
Did  you .. get tell anyone .."

He shook his head, "Not right away. Afterwards .. after she'd run out of
the apartment in tears, I lay in bed and waited. I knew it wouldn't be long
before someone came to get me. I deserved it for what I'd done. Gods! I'd
raped her ..

"But no one ever came. Liv came home as if nothing had happened. I feigned
illness and stayed in bed, unable to face her. Night passed .. then the
next day .. and no one came."

"She didn't tell anyone?"

He shook his head, "No .. she didn't. She didn't come around anymore, but
she didn't tell anyone. She changed after that too. Became .. sullen .. and
spent more time alone. And it wasn't long before it became clear that young
Portia was .. pregnant."

T'jellan hung his head, "Her parents were horrified .. and Liv was
surprised to. But not me .. I knew who had done that horrible thing to her.
Who had taken away that precious gift that a woman should only be able to
give .. not have stolen as I'd done to her."

"But she started it."

He shook his head, "She was too young to know. She wasn't ready. She was
simply playing .. and I .. I took advantage of it."

"So what happened to her? What happened to the baby?"

T'jellan looked up at her in pain, "Don't you know?" Then he shook his
head, "How could you .. only two people alive in this world know."

He took a last deep breath and finished his story, "When I found out she
was pregnant, I knew I had to confess. I went to my dearest friend and
mate, and told her of my betrayal. Liv was horrified as you can imagine and
she moved out that very day.  She and her parents and Portia all left the
warren. I never knew what happened until nearly a year later I received a
note from Liv telling me that Portia had killed herself .. she'd never come
out of the depression that *I* put her in." T'jellan paused for a moment
fighting back more tears before continuing, "Liv told me that her parents
had moved to Ralengarde and that she and Portia's child were living in
Killaglen. She named him Tevel and agreed to let me see him.

"I was never sure why," T'jellan shrugged, "She wouldn't tell me, but in my
heart, I think it's because somewhere deep down, she's forgiven me, and
still loves me in some way or other .."

Regards,
T'jellan & Grunth
***
NRPG: Well there it is .. T'jellan's skeleton in the closet. Obviously this
all happened before he joined to Grunth, so even the dragon isn't
completely aware of everything that happened.

Kristen
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       \oo/     Kristen Gant
        ~~      (AKA: Darlea & Makayla, Keldarra Warren, Courier
                      Waylene & Aura, Marrid Warren, Warrenlady
                      Meena & Vonn, Norwall Warren, Wingleader
                      Kalewyn & Sabbith, Telnor Warren, Dragonrider
                      Saul & Fayloth, Whiteriver Warren, Searcher
                      Merybelle Barmen, City of Ralengarde, Innkeeper
                      Ce'lot & Britche, Xylain Warren, Wingleader
                http://homepage.interaccess.com/~sgant/Kris/kris.htm
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