*Healer Hall, Early Evening*
**N'lin**
 
N'lin stared through the blank piece of parchment on the desk, wondering if it was possible to getout of this mess.  He knew he had to leave, he'd known for a very long time that he would have to, but today's events had made it an immediate necessity.  He couldn't deal with this kind of situation, it could hurt too many people and the solution was simply.  All he had to do was leave.
 
Leaving would certainly make Trefoil happy.  N'lin was genuinely surprised that his dragon hadn't complained.  It wasn't as if he hadn't the right to.  But even though Foil was amazingly circumspect in his complants, N'lin knew his dragon was lonely and dreadfully unhappy.  Who could blame him?  Fro practically their entire stay, Foil had had no company but N'lin and, for a very good portion of that time, N'lin hadn't been fit company for *anyone.*
 
Currently, he hadn't been very good company either.  He'd been too busy studying, training, and generally helping out that he hadn't had much free time.  And most of that had been spent--
 
He killed that thought rather abruptly.  That was the reason he had to leave in the first place, though, if he was going to be completely honest with himself, it hadn't entirely been his fault.  What had hapened today, well, it wouldn't have happened if she hadn't wanted it, needed it, as much as he.  Their feelings were mutual and the both knew it because they had both felt it.  And, especiallt when dealing with other empaths, he'd discovered that feelings were taken as fact more often then words.
 
He snorted in self disgust and began rumaging rther violently for a writing utensil, trying to quell that dangerous line of thought by thinking of the task at hand, which was unpleasant enough in and of itself.  He needed to write a letter to a woman who, as far as he could figure from a few foggy memories and by what Foil had told him, he had been trying to rape the last time they'd been together, and ask her to let him come back.
 
He had a feeling Trinale would probably tell him to come back, but he didn'twant to be there if he made her uncomfortable.  It wasn't fair to her, not when she had so many responsibitlities.  Besides, he was sick of being feared, as some did at Healer Hall.
 
N'lin finally located a pen.  In neat, almost girlish handwriting, he got as far as 'Dear' before stopping.  What titlehe called her depended on what he was going to say and how he wanted to say it.  
 
He leaned back in the chair, sighing heavily and bending the pen dangerously between his fingers.  he was so muddled up inside he almost felt physically ill.  Guilt, confusion, love, hate, disappointment, anticipation, fear and countless other emotions in endless combinations ran over each other in an endless race to nowhere.  The fact that he had towrite a letter to Trinale was not improving his unhappy mood.  He detested writing letters.  But he couldn't just show up at the warren for a talk either.  Not when there was the extremely remote, but still concevable, chance that Trinale would react badly to his presence.  He most definately did not want her screaming at him, fainting, running away or anything like that.
 
<You're going to break the pen if you don' stop bending it like that,> Foil commented drolly.
 
N'lin jerked with surprise and tossed the pen on the desk.  Breaking pens and pencils while he thought was a bad habit he's acquired somehow.  In the course of his stay, he knew he'd gone through over fifty and his current pen, he was pretty sure, was the last of the ten he had bought in the middle of last week.
 
<Thanks,> N'lin said in regard to the warning.  <I thought you were asleep.>
 
<I was,> Foil whined good naturedly, <but you have been thinking hard and gloomily so I woke up.  Just in case...>
 
Involuntarily, N'lin glanced down at the ever present leather, beaded bracelets that covered the multiple, jagged scars on his wrists.  'Just in case' indeed.
 
<Well, since you're up, you can help me write this letter.>

Trefoil snorted both mentally and physically, raising a small cloud of dust from the floor of his den.  Why did humans have to make everything so over complicated? the dragan asked no one in particular, a habit he'd fallen into since coming to Healer Hall.
 
<I still don't understand whay we need a letter.  Why can't we just go there and ask?> Foil asked exaspereatedly.  He was dying for a good cuddle and conversation.  Though he would never have Chosen another, N'lin's company could get a little.. depressing sometimes.
 
<It wouldn't be good if Trinale had a fit of something at the sight of me.  Do you think I should be formal or not?> N'lin asked.
 
Foil sighed again.  <If you even have to ask that question, I'd think the letter had better be formal.  But *don't* make it cold.  We do want to go back there you know.>
 
There was one thing about his rider that Foil was extremely thankful for; N'lin was not a quitter.  If things got tough, he stuck with it; if he started something worth while, he'd do everything possible to finish it.  It was a strange thing, especially considering how quiet, reserved, and cautious N'lin tended to be.  Still, his rider could have an amazing amount of backbone when push came to shove.  That was probably the only reason they were alive today, and the only reason they were giving Whiteriver another try.
 
<So what should I say?> N'lin asked.
 
<How should I know?  I'd rather we didn't write the dumb letter anyways.>  Foil yawned hugely and shifted in his bed.  <I'm going back to sleep.  Wake me up if you decide to stop being such a chicken and decide to fly over there and ask.>
 
This time it was N'lin who snorted in disgust.  He looked down at the parchment and placed 'Warrenlady' after 'Dear.'  He began to write the rest, pausing fairly often for phrasing and to check how to spell something.  Another reason why he hated writing was that his spelling was horrendous, though he could always understand it.  Finally, as he signed his name at the bottom, he wondered who he could get a second opinion from.  The first person who leapt to mind he didn't dare see.  Not this late at night and not after what had happened earlier today.  Foil would just have to do.
 
<Foil, wake up.>
 
<Wha-?> was the groggy, irritated reply.
 
<I need a second opinion.  I want to send this off in the morning.>  He thought he heard a heavy sigh from his dragon and smiled.
 
<Oh all right.  Just hurry up about it,> Foil whined and yawn again.
 
<Ok, here goes.  'Dear Warrenlady Trinale...'  I thought it would be good to use-->
 
<No comments!  Just read,> Foil demanded.  <She won't get the comments.  Unless you plan on writing them in?>
 
N'lin sighed, thankful Foil couldn't see him blush, even though the green dragon was right.
 
<'Dear Warrenlady Trinale,'> he read.  <'I hope this letter finds you, Cricket and the rest of the warren in good health.  I am fully recovered from my ailment...'>  That wasn't exactly true, but close enough that it didn't matter.  <...and am ready to return to Whiteriver Warren.  As you might imagine, Trefoil has been rather lonely with no dragons to talk to, and I would rather he returned to a warren full of friends then one full of strangers.'>
 
<Cute,> Foil commented, amused.
 
<Maybe, but true enough in a way,> N'lin rejoined before continuing.
 
<'I know we did not parton the best of terms, though this impression is mainly from what Trefoil has told me because I remember very little of the incident.  I know that as warrenlady, you have a great many responsibilities and I do not wish to add to that burden.  If my presence at Whiteriver would make you in anyway uncomfortable, then I would rather go to a different warren.  Please be truthful in your reply, which I await eagerly.  Regard, Nalin Silm, Rider of Trefoil, Healer Hall.'>
 
N'lin paused a moment before asking, <Well?>
 
<It's stuffy,> Foil critiqued.  <And you must have used that book for fiding words that mean the same thing  as other words a lot because I have never you speak like that.  But it is straightforward and it isn't cold.  It'll do.>
 
<Good, I'm going to bed.  Sleep tight,> N'lin said, knowing very well that now that he was going to sleep, Foil would stay awake tonight to watch his dreams.  Just in case.
 
<Don't let the dream bugs bite,> Foil rejoined, finishing their little ritual that used to be N'lin's and his mother's ritual.
 
N'lin blew out the lamp and groped his way to his bed, where he fell immediately asleep, dreaming of the one thing in the world he wanted most but could never have.  It was almost a nightmare,  but Foil needn't have bothered staying awake.
 

--NRPG: Well I'm back and it's nice :)  I'm looking forward to playing with you all again.  Tag Kat.
 
N'lin and Trefoil
Bridget Olson