Saying Good-byes



....I'm sorry. I don't know what I would have done if it hadn't been for the
kindness of you and your family. I will miss them far more then you will
know. But I just pray you can understand why I feel I need to do this.

I will never forget you and I promise I will come back for a visit to see
you all. Until then, Saul and I will be at the Rest for another day or so
and I would really like to see you all one more time before we go. So I'll
be going to the manor to tell father and mother in person while Saul is in
Whiteriver. I hope you have the time to join us, but will understand if you
can't find the time.

I love you sister of my heart.

Shawnee

She signed her name and folded the paper over twice before slipping it
inside the envelope with Katla's name on it then sealed it before she could
change her mind.

"Is that the last one?" Saul asked coming up behind her and wrapping his
strong arms around her shoulders before dropping a kiss on the top of her head.

"Yes... I couldn't just leave without some word to them," she told him. "Are
you sure you don't mind giving them these notes?" she asked, knowing she was
taking the easy way out. But there was just no way she could bring herself
to going back to the Warren.

"I'll see that they get them," he assured her and took the three letters she
handed him, frowning slightly when he saw T'jellan's name written on one.

"Despite everything he has been my friend love. And your friend too," she
told him. "We had a long talk the other day and came to an understanding. I
just wanted him to know he wasn't the reason I was leaving."

"Well I guess I shouldn't worry so much abut it," Saul grinned and pulled
her to him for a short sweet kiss. "I mean you're here with me..."

"That's right... and there is no where else I would rather be, or anyone
else I would rather be with then by your side and in your life," she told
him snuggling closer in his arms and feeling safe in his embrace.. "I'm only
half a woman without you."

"Maybe we've both learned something from this," he hugged her closer still.
"That we do belong together."

"I knew that from the first moment you crashed down my door and didn't turn
me into the law givers," she chuckled. 

"Way back then huh?" he grinned down at her.

"Yup. You were the most handsome and kind man I have ever met. I think I
feel in love with you when you insisted on taking Fawna to the healers in
Whiteriver to get the care she needed. But I couldn't tell you that then,"
her aqua eyes opened wide. "I was to afraid you'd think I was only imagining
it just because you'd been kind to us."

"Back then I might have," he agreed. "But you were working your way into my
heart even then and it scared me more then you will ever know."

"Oh I think I know," she chuckled, then her smile faded and she looked at
the letters in her hand. "I'm scared now. Scared of what we're going to find
and how we'll be accepted in Jasra."

"Don't worry Sweet Shawnee," he assured her. "They'll love you just as the
people in Whiteriver do. The ones who matter anyway."

She saw the anger in his eyes and knew he was thinking about *her*....

"When I first came to Whiteriver you warned me that not everyone in the
Warren was nice, or would be someone I would want to get to know. You were
right," Shawnee reminded him. "I guess it's like that no matter where you
go. I just hope we won't have quite so many interesting ....things in our
new home."

"We just won't let there be," his deep blue eyes twinkled 
Mischievously. "Now I'd better be going if I'm to get done what needs to be
done, and get back here tonight."

His eyes now were nearly black with hate as he allowed himself to remember
what that woman had nearly done to his family.

"Just be careful Saul... I'll be going out to the Vaddon Estates to make my
good byes and then meet you back here later on."

"You be careful too," he told her and then kissed her with a passion she
hadn't felt for a very long time. "So.. how soon did the doctor say you
needed to rest up?"

Shawnee chuckled. "Go on with you, you rouge." 

She waited just long enough to get the kids up and dressed before heading
out to see her adoptive parents. As she settled the kids into the harness
Dontey had made for them, she was thinking of how best to tell Jerlyn and
his lady why she was doing this. And to thank them for everything they had
done for her and the kids.

<We are here my Sweet Shawnee.> Doshy told her, having started using the
same nick name Saul had always used for her. The Teal thought it sounded
just right to describe her rider.

Shawnee couldn't help but notice the sadness in her dragons tone and knew
she would be thinking of now much she was going to be missing her hatch
mates and the other dragons who lived in Whiteriver. 

<<It'll be okay my love,>> Shawnee told her. <<You'll soon meet new friends
in our new home and Fayloth and Teewith will be there.. so you won't be all
alone.>>

<I know,> The dragon sighed. <But I'll miss my friends until we can come
back for a visit.>

<<Well don't look now my love, but there are two of your friends down there
waiting on you now,>> Shawnee told her and felt her dragons spirits lift
slightly.

<My friends!!! They came. They came!!> the Teal shouted and came to a
landing not far from them. 

<<Hey give me time to unload the kids before you head over there will ya?>>
the girl laughed when her beast started forward. 

<Well hurry up then. I want to spend as much time as I can with them before
we have to leave here!!>

She recognized the other two dragons as those belonging to her brother and
sister, and hoped that with Trinale's Queen being unable to fly at the
moment, she had come with Derry. But there was always the chance that with
everything that had been happening in Whiteriver, she had chose to stay there.

Shawnee hoped not. She knew leaving this way wasn't the best way to thank
the woman for all she had done for her family, but Shawnee was afraid that
Trinale would have been able to talk her into staying had she gone back tot
he Warren.
But things would never be the same for her there ever again. Her fear for
her family overrode everything else. And with the kidnapping of Ojean and
Cill by Owlean... and the resent attacks on the Warren by the followers of
the Blind Folder Lady.. Shawnee was scared to death to keep her family
anywhere around. She just didn't feel safe there any longer. Her thoughts
turned back to Gwyna,,, the enemy she knew had turned out to be almost as
deadly as the enemy she didn't know.

Shawnee dismounted after a few minutes

<It's about time...>

To find her adopted father standing there beside her, reaching to take
Lynnie from her arms so she could retrieve her son.

"The others are waiting inside," he told her. "But I wanted a chance to talk
to you first before we went inside."

"You knew I was coming here today?"

Jerlyn nodded his head. "I sort of figured something was wrong when the
others all showed up. they had a few reasons for coming here today, but
wanted me to talk to you and try to talk you out of going."

The girl lowered her eyes and looked away from him. She couldn't stand to
see the hurt in his eyes.

"I don't want to go.." she said slowly. "I love Whiteriver and I love you
and your wife for all you have done for us. Opening you home and welcoming
us into your family... But I just can't go back. Not after... She ruined
everything for me there and nearly cause the death of my mate and son! Can
you understand how that makes me feel?"

"Shawnee... daughter.." his voice was kind as his hand lifted her head up so
that she would meet his eyes.

"I don't want you to go and I'm not sure if this is the right choice.. But I
do understand. I just wish things could have been different," he sighed.
"We're going to miss you."

"It won't be forever," she promised. "It's not like we can't fly back for a
visit... or you can get Derry or Katla to bring you to see us in our new
home. I know they would if you asked them too!"

"I'm sure they will... and I'm sure we will sometime soon."

"I hope you do... I know Ojean is going to miss what he can's his duties for
father," she chuckled.. then the grin faded. "Ah.. about that," she hesitated. 

"We've asked Tahsa and Dontey to come with us."

"Do you think that's wise?"

"Yes... I believe Dontey really does love us and wants to get to know his
children. I think I've been wrong to keep Fawna and Ojean from knowing who
he is. He is a wonderful father to his other daughter Sammy... and I think I
owe him the chance to get to know his other children. Just don't think for a
moment that we will, any of us forget you. You and your wife have shown us
what having family is really like and you will *always* be just that to us."

"Hey!!" Shawnee looked at her daughter who was seated on her grandfathers
hip. Her beautiful little face wore a slight frown as she looked from her
mommy back to her Grandpa. She was feeling slightly ignored. "No kisses for
Lynnie?"

"Oh dear!" Jerlyn's face took on a look of mock forgetfulness. "Now *how*
could I have gone on this long forgetting something as important as kisses
for this beautiful little girl?"

"Oh You'll spoil her just like her father does," Shawnee chuckled as she
watched the two of them trading kisses and laughs. 

"All better?" Jerlyn asked Lynnie who was beaming now from his attentions.

"Better..." Lynnie agreed. 

"I think maybe we'd better go inside now before they all come looking for
us," Jerlyn commented even as the others showed up in the entry way. 

Trinale saw her first and ran down the steps towards her.

"Oh Shawnee please... you can't leave! Whiteriver is your home!!" Trinale
pleaded and Shawnee's eyes started to tear up. 

"Now, now," Jerlyn scolded them and not to kindly. "Let's let her get
herself and the children inside before we all pounce on her at once."

"But..."

"Inside," his tone was kinder now as he too was starting to tear up. He
cleared his throat and led them inside, Lynnie still happily clinging to her
Grandpa's arms.

When they were all seated and Derry had retrieved drinks for them all,
Shawnee turned to Trinale.

"I want you to know how much I appreciate all you have done for me and my
family," she turned to look around the room. "All of you. But after this
last bit with Gwyna... that all most led to the death of my son..."

She glanced over to where Lady Vaddon was sitting with the sleeping boy in
her arms.

"..And the other things.. with Owlean and .. well I just don't think I can
stay there and be reminded of them over and over every day. And before you
say I won't.. I know that I will. I won't be able to help myself."

"But Shawnee, Owlean is dead. She can't hurt you any longer and Gwyna.. Well
she won't be around mush longer to bother you or Saul ever again."

"But the memory of what did happen will still be there!" Shawnee cried. "It
won't matter that they aren't around any longer... the tainted the happiness
I had come to accept in Whiteriver and I can never get that back again. Not
really. it'll always be there."

"But to move away," Katla commented. "You don't need to do that. We can help
you get through it."

Shawnee turned to look at the woman who had become the sister of her heart.
Love and understanding filled her aqua eyes. 

"I know you would try Katla.. I know all of you would. But don't you see..
Everytime you tried it would just serve to remind me about what happened and
I just couldn't take that for very long."

"Oh Shawnee."

"It's better this way. Can't you see. I mean Saul and I can be together and
be able to raise our children. We can be happy there by the sea and I won't
have to keep looking over my back to see what other danger is lurking around
the corner... Like with the bomb in the hatching cave.. or the coal bins.
Fawna was hurt and I could easily have lost my son if I'd been ten steps
further along then where I was. It was only luck that Lynnie was with Tahsa
that day.... I have to think of my children now. Their safety must come
first..."

She bowled her head so she wouldn't have to face them when she said the next
bit.

"Even with the added security you've added... I'm scared that something like
this could happen again and that my family won't be as lucky the next
time.... On one hand there's people we don't even know trying to destroy us
and on the other hand there's Gwyna and whoever gave her the drugs that
almost killed my mate and son. Is it really any wonder that I'm scared to
stay there?

A look pasted between Chance and her brother. A look Shawnee didn't
understand but somehow knew it was connected to what they were talking
about. She didn't ask. But saw that Chance was bothered quite a bit by it.

"But to go so far away," Trinale sighed, and Shawnee knew she was thinking
about Saul who had been there from the day she was born.

"It won't be fore ever and we won't forget you," Shawnee promised. "We'll be
back for a visit, and think of all we can share then."

They talked for a while longer, Shawnee telling them what she had been able
to learn about their new home and the others reminding her that there had
better be visits home.. and not to wait forever to do so. 

They spent time playing with Lynnie and each had a turn holding Aarin who
awake from his nap decided he liked the new people he was seeing. Until he
became hungry and then only his mommy would do. 

There were gifts exchanged and tears cried when it was finally time for them
to leave and return to the Rest to meet up with Saul and the others.

They all accompanied her outside to where Doshy was waiting and after she
got the kids settled into their saddle holder, she turned for one more round
of hugs and well wishes. 

Jerlyn was the last in line and she felt him slip something into her hand
before he pulled away. 

"Just something to help you get started in your new home," he winked. "You
never know when it might be needed."

She looked down and saw a medium size bag in her hand baring the Vaddon
Seal, and felt the coins slipping around inside. 

"Take them... I want you to have them daughter."

She hugged him again and turned mounted Doshy, waved to those standing there
for the last time and then gave the teal the order to take them back to the
Rest before she broke down totally.

...............

Shawnee was just settling Aarin down for the night when she heard a sound
behind her and turned to see Saul standing there grinning. 

"I see you made it back in time to say good night to your son," she remarked
as he came to stand before her and stuck his finger out to touch his sons hand.

She wanted to ask him how his trip went, but decided to wait until they were
alone.

"You should have seen him in the air as we flew away on Doshy. He took to
riding like he'd been doing it forever. Not one bit scared of it either."
Shawnee chuckled as the two of them finally left their son and started
wondered back out into the living room, but a certain little girl hearing
the sound of her daddy's voice, called out that she wanted hugs and kisses
good night.

"Well you'd better get on in there or she won't sleep at all tonight,"
Shawnee told him. "I'll go pour us something to drink while you give her
hugs and kisses."

Saul stopped just short of opening the door to the room Lynnie and Fawna had
been given to share, looked back at his mate, deep blue eyes sending out a
message she knew so well by now.

"And if I'm good do I get hugs and kisses to send me off to sleep too?" he
asked with a wink.

"If you're good ... maybe."

She was sitting on the couch with a glass of wine for him and juice for her
when he finally came into the room. 

"I was about to come looking for you thinking you'd gotten lost."

"No, not lost .. just .." he sighed, "Sometimes it's hard to leave. She was
resting so peacefully.

"I know what you mean... When I look at her sometimes I just can't believe
she's for real and that she's ours."

"Of course she's yours," He smiled, "I know because I've seen her beautiful
eyes before." He settled in beside her and kissed her, "Right here .. on you."

"You always know just when to say the sweetest things....But I need to
know... How did it go? In Whiteriver?" Shawnee's voice dropped a bit. "Did
she tell you why she did it?

He shook his head, "It doesn't matter. It's over, Shawnee. She will never
hurt you again."

"When I think of what she almost did to our family," her body shivered and
he pulled her closer. "Trinale tried everything she could to get me to
change my mind... And part of me wanted to... but I just couldn't when it
came right down to it. I believe we need this move. To start over... It'll
be good for us."

He nodded, "We'll be together. You, me .. the kids. That's what matters."

She settled closer to him and allowed herself to hope. "Yes... You're
right... what do you think it'll be like?"

"It'll be heaven, Sweet Shawnee. Lot's of space .. lot's of friendly people
.. lots of secluded hide-aways .." he nuzzled her neck.

"Mummmm and I'm sure you'll find each and every one of them for us to
...explore..." she giggled and turned her lips up to meet his. "I do believe
we'll need to do quite a bit of exploring."

"Oh yes .." he groaned, allowing his kisses to become more needful. It had
been so long since he'd had the woman he loved and his need was growing ..
quickly.

Byrin picked that particular time to push through the door of the Barman home.

"Ummm .. sorry .." he grinned.

Shawnee blushed and readjusted the front of her dress that had somehow
become open. "No...that's all right...this time," she added so only Saul
could hear her.

Saul grinned and then looked at the young man, "So do you like Teewith?

"Oh he's great!" Byrin nodded, "I just came in to get him some of that meat
that didn't get eaten."

"I can see your son is going to be a great dragonrider one day," Shawnee
teased. "He's already learning how to spoil a dragon... But Byrin.. don't
let Tee's size fool you... He is NOT a hatchling any longer... he's just
small for his size."

Byrin nodded, "It's okay, Bette'll have a fit if the meat spoils anyway ..
We don't have to tell her it was eaten by a dragon!" he cocked his head, "Do
you really suppose I could be a dragonrider?"

Shawnee turned to look at Saul to see his reaction to the question. Saul
would know. He was never wrong.

Saul paused for a moment and frowned, "I don't think your mother would like
that very much .."

Byrin shook his head, "No, she probably wouldn't .. but it's kind of a nice
thought .."

"Well... I'll let you ride with Tee and me whenever you come visit with
us... Like when schools out..." Ojean turned to look at Saul. "Do you think
he'll be able too... for a little while just so he can see his sister and
brother... and the rest of us?"

Saul nodded, "Of course."

"Cool," both boys agreed at once. "Well we better go get 
that meat or Teewith will think we forgot about him.... " Ojean grinned. "So
you two can finish what you were doing."

He turned his deep blue eyes on his mate while the two boys headed toward
the meat cellar. When he was sure he 
wouldn't be heard he added, "He'd made a great rider .."

"Do you think Meri will ever change her mind?"

Saul shook his head, "I doubt it .. But who knows."

"Well at lease she will allow him to come visit with us... I know Fawna and
Ojean would be sad if he didn't... and you know.. I think you would be
too.... And to think you were once afraid of the boy."

He shrugged, "I'm a lot smarter then I used to be."

"Yes you are..." she agreed playing with the hair that poked through his
open shirt. "But you're still ever bit as sexy as you were the day I feel in
love with you."

He smiled and moved to cover her lips with his yet again, "Now .. where were
we .."

"Why don't we go on into our bed room and pick this up where we left off..."
she got up and reached for his hand. "I'm sure we can remember there as well
as here.... and we won't be interrupted there."

He was up in a flash, swooping her up into his arms, "Oh, I know the way .."

In the end both laid clinging to eachother in the aftermath of their loving.
Saul taking great pains to satisfy her needs without giving in to his own
needs to crawl inside of her. 

With skill and practice he brought her time and time to the pinnacle of
bliss then finally when he knew she could take it no longer, he used hands
and lips to satisfied her desires and held her close as she climaxed with
and intensity she hadn't felt in a very long time. 

He thought they were done and tried to pull her into his arms. But Shawnee
would not allow him to be only a participant... She wanted to give him the
same pleasure he had given her. She had learned a thing or two from him over
the years, and as she worked her lips down his body, she looked up to see
the passion in his eyes as she slowly took him inside her mouth...

[The next morning]

"Ojean and I'll be back with the others in a short while," Saul told his
mate as he held her for one last kiss. "Then if you have everything ready
here we can leave for Telnor just as soon as we get everything packed on the
dragons."

"We're really going to do this .. aren't we," Shawnee grinned up at him. She
was feeling scared, yet excited at the same time. But she was going to be
with Saul and her family so nothing else mattered to her.

"We're really going to do it," he nodded and pulled her close. "Just wait
until you see the seas there. You won't believe it and I'll know I'll enjoy
seeing you dressed in the local attire."

"Oh," she giggled. "And just what's wrong with this dress I have on?"

"Why nothing," he answered her after pulling back slightly and having
himself a good look. "But I think I'd like seeing you in even less better.
This little dress here just might be ...to ah.. warm for you there."

"Then I guess one of the first place I should find after we get settled in
the tailor shop and see if I can talk them out of some supplies to make us
all new clothing."

"Well if you must," he sigh dramatically, then leered down at her. "But only
if you promise to leave them behind when we go exploring."

"Oh I'm sure we could come up with some compromise." 

He released her then and. "I'd better go. Tahsa and Dontey will be wondering
where I am."

"Yes...Saul.. I'm glad their going with us. I meant.. Well Tahsa is the kind
of mother I wish we had had growing up. Our live sure might have been
different then."

"We in as much as I hate to admit it.. Owlean did do one good thing in your
life by leaving you."

"And what was that?"

"If she hadn't you and I wouldn't have met." He reminded her.

"Oh I think it might have taken us a little longer, but a love like ours was
meant to be. I would have found you sooner or later."

"I'm glad it was sooner rather then later," he grinned, kissed her and went
to mount Fayloth. Then looking around he saw that Ojean and Teewith were
already to go and gave the order for them to lift off.

Seconds later she saw them disappear and went back in to finish getting her
family ready for the trip to their new home.

=============================  

Well it's been fun playing Shawnee here with you all... but it's time for
her to move on....

****Submitted by: *****

Shawnee & Doshayne
formerly of Whiteriver Warren

aka
Barbara