Th'rin
***
<< After Chrysthal's mating flight - Day 9, late afternoon >>

>"Oh, Gods... Th'rin!" Tarv'renon knelt down beside his sorrowful friend,
>and stroked him gently on the cheek. "What is it, my friend? What could be
>so bad?"

>"Merissa..." the healer sobbed.

>Tarv'renon wrapped his arms about the smaller man protectively, "Sh... No
>need to cry now." He paused as he felt that familiar spark ignite between
>them. What was that? "What," Tarv'renon cleared his throat nervously,
>"What can I do to help?"

>"Just be here, hold me."

>"I'm here, I've got you," Tarv'renon repeated comfortingly. He couldn't
>stand to see Th'rin in so much pain, it tore at his very soul. Nurturing
>instinct blended with desire and without further thought, Tarv'renon bent
>forward and kissed Th'rin tenderly on the lips.

The kiss didn't seem to surprise Th'rin at all, and he didn't pull away,
but instead returned it. Soon instead of tender, their kisses were full of
need, and their bodies were pressed together. Th'rin allowed his hands to
run over Tarv's broad shoulders, feeling his taunt muscles. It was so
different from the sweet softness of a woman, but still just as
exhilarating.

He reveled in the rough feel of Tarv's face, unshaven since morning, and
the musky scent of his skin .. Memories of the mating flight flooded back
to him. The fire and passion that they'd shared then. Oh yes, he remembered
and right now he couldn't think of anything he wanted more ..

"Th'rin .." Tarv spoke in a hushed and husky whisper.

"Yes," Th'rin breathed, still intent on enjoying the feel of his partner's
body.

"I hear voices ." he whispered, "I think someone's coming .."

Th'rin pushed back suddenly, listening intently. Yes there were voices, and
suddenly he felt very self-conscious. Two pairs of hazel eyes stared at
each other for a moment, with both fear and longing. Th'rin shook his head,
"This isn't a good place."

Tarv agreed and both men readjusted themselves and stood up.

"My place .." Tarv said tentatively, then quickly added, "Just to talk."

Th'rin wanted to go with Tarv'renon very much, but talk was not what he had
on his mind. Still he nodded, "Talk would be good."

"I'll go first .."

Again Th'rin nodded and watched as Tarv hurried away. Then he called to his
dragon, <Areena, are you close?>

<I am close, Th'rin.>

<I want you to come and get me in a few moments.>

<Why in a few moments .. why not just go with Murkash and his rider?>

<Because ..> Th'rin said, not really having an explanation.

<My Th'rin,> Areena cooed to him, <You should not be ashamed of who you
are. I am not.>

<I ..> Th'rin began, then stopped.

There seemed to be an interminable silence before Areena spoke again,
<Murkash and his rider are at their apartment .. are you still going?>

Th'rin sat for a moment .. thinking. He wanted to .. he wanted Tarv right
now, more then he'd wanted just about anyone, including Merissa. But it
wasn't right .. was it? If nothing else, he should be true to his mate ..
shouldn't he?

Then he shook his head, "Why Thorin .." he whispered aloud, "She was not
true to you .."

He stood and strode purposefully out of the forest, <I'm coming, Areena.>

The healer did not bother to consider that two wrongs do not make a right
.. nor that this was perhaps not the best way to deal with his pain. For
the moment he was thinking only of the moment.

***
<< Early Evening >>

"So much for just talk .." Tarv said as the two men sat mostly naked
amongst strewn sheets and blankets. There had been no talk when Th'rin
arrived. Both men had simply nodded to each other and then headed into the
bedroom

Th'rin simply nodded, staring at a space of nothing in front of him.

Tarv frowned, "Are you sorry .. now?"

Th'rin looked over at Tarv and shook his head, "No .. I'm not." He watched
relief pass over Tarv's eyes and he shrugged, "It's thanks to you that I
think I'm beginning to see that maybe I'm not such a freak after all."

"A freak?" Tarv said and gave a bitter chuckle. "I know that feeling?"

Th'rin nodded. "Don't get me wrong .. I always knew there were 'those'
kinda men. Hell my father took great pains to make their lives miserable
from time to time. And yes my father lived all his life here. He was raised
by dragonriders who were raised by dragonriders .. etceteras, etceteras.
Still he had this intense dislike for them. And whenever he wanted to hurt
me, he would imply such things about me .." Th'rin sighed, "I guess the
thing that hurt most was my fear that he was right."

"So what about Merissa? How do you feel about her?"

Th'rin frowned, "I love her, Tarv. More then I ever thought possible. And I
do find her attractive, and desirable .. and .."

Tarv'renon nodded, "I understand." He paused for a moment, then asked,
"Have you ever felt the same way about a man? I mean I know what you and I
shared was one thing, but love is something else .."

Th'rin nodded, "I know what you mean." He looked at Tarv and frowned, "Do
you swear that what I'm going to tell you will never be repeated?"

"Of course, I'm your friend, aren't I?"

Th'rin nodded gratefully, "Who'd have ever thought it, eh?"

Tarv smiled and held out his hand to the healer. Th'rin took it returned
his smile. Then taking a deep breath, he spoke the name, "Saul."

"Saul?" Tarv asked, "As in Saul the searcher .. Saul and Shawnee .. that Saul?"

Th'rin nodded, "Yes." He shrugged, "I think I've always loved him. He is so
.." Th'rin struggled for the words.

"Sexy." Tarv said matter-of-factly.

Th'rin eyed him for a moment and nodded, "Yes, though I refused to let
myself think of that. But he really stuck by me when things with my father
were bad. He always believed in me, and in my abilities."

"Does he know how you feel?"

Th'rin shook his head, "At least I don't think so .." He frowned in
embarrassment, "I did kiss him once .."

"You kissed Saul of Whiteriver!" Tarv'renon's voice held a note of disbelief.

"Yes," Th'rin said ruefully, "And I was so embarrassed, I've pretty much
avoided him ever since."

"He never said anything to you?"

Th'rin shrugged, "He tried. But I didn't let him. I didn't want to face how
I felt. Besides I know Saul doesn't return my feelings. So what does it
matter .."

"Nothing I suppose," Tarv agreed, "What about Merissa, does she know?"

"Oh Gods no!" Th'rin said quickly. "She still thinks nothing happened
between us during the mating flight. I could never tell her about that ..
or this!"

Tarv nodded, "I understand. I am glad you felt you could share it with me,
though."

Th'rin squeezed his hand. "I don't know what I'd do without you ..
Especially now that Merissa .." he stopped, fighting back the painful
memory of finding Merissa in Oldreth's bed.

"I'm really sorry about that," Tarv told him honestly. He's heard the whole
sordid story from Murkash while he'd been waiting for Th'rin.

"Maybe it's over .. Maybe on some sub-conscious level she knows about me ..
and is trying to avoid getting hurt." Th'rin sighed.

"Then she picked the wrong man." Tarv said with a chuckle.

Th'rin looked up at him in confusion. "Why?"

Tarv shook his head, "Think about it, Th'rin. It was Oldreth .. the junior
'queen'rider .."

Th'rin gasped as he suddenly realized that Tarv had a point.  "So you think
Oldreth .. well that he .."

Tarv shrugged, "Odds are .."

"Gods .." Th'rin breathed, "I never thought about that."

"Boy you did try and bury this part of yourself, didn't you," Tarv asked,
"Even more then I did."

"I just don't know what to think now .."

<Th'rin!> Areena broke in, <Trefoil's rider tried to hurt himself!>

<What?> Th'rin asked, suddenly sitting up straight.

<Your mate stopped him, but he's in bad shape, Trefoil is very worried.>

<He's hurt??>

<Not physically ..>

Th'rin nodded, "I think I have to go. Areena said .."

But Tarv was already nodding, "I know. Murkash told me."

Th'rin looked at the blonde man sitting beside him. A man whom he'd both
hated, and loved in a very short span of time.  "Tarv, I .." he stammered.

"I know, Th'rin." Tarv nodded, "This meant a lot to me to .. but no one
will know. I've already asked Murkash to keep our secret."

Th'rin nodded, "I'll ask the same of Areena." He frowned slightly, "It's
for the best .. isn't it?"

Tarv'renon shrugged, "I guess it is .."

"Okay .." Th'rin pulled away from him and began putting his clothes back
on. While he could no longer deny these feelings he had, he was also not
yet ready to share them with the world .. He didn't think Tarv was either,
but he knew that now that they'd found a true friendship and a common bond,
things would somehow be easier for them. Neither was completely alone
anymore.

***
<< Later that evening >>

When Th'rin arrived at the med center, N'lin as being attended to by
Xanthia. He also heard that Shawnee was in the labor room with Clarissa ..
which meant that Saul was probably there also .. though the couple had been
having some troubles. He blushed at no one in particular as he thought
about the admission he'd made to Tarv'renon. He wasn't sorry. In fact he
was relieved to have been able to share that secret with someone else ..

He saw Merissa sitting miserably by herself and taking a deep breath headed
over to stand in front of her. "Merissa?" he said drawing her attention to
him.

"Oh Th'rin .." She said rushing into his arms. "He tried .." Her sobs broke
up her words, ".. right there .. I .. I .. barely got there in time .."

"Shhh," he comforted her, "It's all right .. I'm here now .."

He looked up in surprise as he saw Saul rush into the med center and nearly
run over Xanthia who had come out of N'lin's room. She quickly directed the
bearded rider on his way and then headed toward Merissa and Th'rin.

"How is he?" Merissa asked quickly.

"Sleeping. He's not injured, but I think it would be a good idea to keep
him over night .. where we can keep an eye on him."

Th'rin nodded, "Good idea. Come on, Merissa, I'll take you home .." he
paused and looked down at her, "Umm .. I mean if you want .."

Regards,
Th'rin & Areena
***
NPRG:  Morgie, thanks for the perfect set up with Tarv and for the use of
him :) Arlene, Th'rin will not be so condemning at this point :)

Kristen
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       \oo/     Kristen Gant
        ~~      (AKA: Waylene & Aura, Marrid Warren, Warrenlady
                      Meena & Vonn, Norwall Warren, Wingleader
                      Kalewyn & Sabbith, Telnor Warren, Dragonrider
                      Th'rin & Areena, Whiteriver Warren, Head Healer
                      Merybelle Barmen, City of Ralengarde, Innkeeper
                      Ce'lot & Britche, Xylain Warren, Wingleader
                      Saul & Fayloth, Jasra Warren, Searcher
                      Darlea & Makayla
                      Devon & Xanith
                http://homepage.interaccess.com/~sgant/Kris/kris.htm
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