Honest Mistakes

It was with an almost heavy heart that Ben'sar and his dragon parted
with Ellie for the day.  While it had started out nice and friendly, he
had let his feelings for her get in the way and nearly ruined everything.

What a dork he was! A class A, number one dork.

So much for his promise not to push her... He had meant to keep to it,
but as he was feeding her the fruit...his mind stopped working and his
body took over. Not that she hadn't gone along with him each kiss and
caress of the way.... Still he should have been able to stop things from
going too far.

The only thing keeping him from getting his things and heading back to
Telnor right now was the fact that she hadn't told him to leave. She had
been a bit upset with him ... as he had with her when it was over... But
they had talked things out and this time he would give her all the time
she needed - even if it meant taking frequent dips in the cold lake near
by. Starting just before he was to meet her for dinner tonight....and
after he dropped  her off at her door tonight.

>From now on he'd be the perfect gentleman as far as she was concerned....

Even if it killed him. 

<Your sibling says to tell you that she found something perfect for her
apartment but she wants you to come help her move it,> Killeen told his
rider as the two of them parted with their friends. <It will give you
something to do to keep you mind off of Cara's rider for a while.>

Ben'sar frowned as he heard the chuckle in his dragon's mental tone, but
refrained from shooting back a scolding comment, because he knew the
beast was right.

Though he had gotten Ellie to agree to have dinner with him that night,
he knew the time apart from her wasn't going to be much fun. It was
never fun sitting and dreaming about being with the one you wanted to be
with while they were off doing something else.... The only good thing
was he knew she wasn't seeing another man while they were apart... only
dealing with Warren business.

He spent the next few hours helping his sister before she had to go to
the medical center to begin her evening rounds, then decided to take a
quick shower and clean himself up before asking Killeen to take him down
to the dining hall where he was to meet Ellie.

Time didn't move fast enough for him, but soon it was time to go and he
mounted his dragon then the two of them took off under the light of the
moon towards the hall.

*****

Lia's dinner with Gerry had gone...well, it had gone.  Her mind had not
been on her food or on conversation with Gerry.  It had continually
strayed to the scene just before they had entered the dining hall...and
to the couple sitting close together at a corner table.

It hurt.  It wasn't exactly news, so it shouldn't bother her.  They were
only friends, so it shouldn't bother her.  Gerry cared for her and
wanted to be with her, so it shouldn't bother her.  But it did.

Gerry carried on as if he couldn't hear the cracks fissuring in her
heart.  He was nearly beaming as he gazed at her across the table.  And
it made every bite of food she put in her mouth taste like dust.

After an interminable meal, Lia quietly rose to her feet.  Pushing in
his chair, Gerry smiled shyly. "Thank you for having dinner with me,
Lia.  May I walk you home?"

"Thank you for inviting me, Gerry."  She wished she could add that she'd
had a lovely time, but she couldn't lie to him.  "I'm not quite ready to
go home yet.  I think I'd like to walk a bit in the garden."

Gerry grinned.  "An after-dinner stroll sounds like a wonderful idea."

Lia's stomach turned over on the wave of guilt.  "I'm really sorry,
Gerry, but....  I just need a little while alone."  At the sight of his
crestfallen expression she added, "It's not you, really it isn't.  It's
just been...a difficult day."  She thought for a moment.  "How about if
I meet you at your parents' shop for tea again tomorrow.  Would that be
all right?" 

Gerry's face lit up.  "Yes, I'd like that very much."  He hesitated a
moment then leaned over to give her a quick peck on the cheek, the color
rising to his face.  Before Lia could respond, he left her with a "See
you tomorrow, then."

Her eyes lingered on his retreating back for only an instant before
straying again to the other couple.  Har'son looked over at that moment,
their eyes locking as he shrugged.

Squaring her shoulders, Lia turned very deliberately toward the door,
ignoring the tear that spilled past her bottom lashes and slid down her
cheek.  Feigning nonchalance, she strolled out the dining hall.

 The sun was setting as she entered the garden, the sky a riot of colors
that seemed inappropriate in response to the choking darkness that
seemed to be enveloping her.  It was ridiculous, she tried to tell
herself.  She should just forget about it and not let it burrow inside
her and take root.  Sitting down on a bench, she gazed around at the
profusion of blooms, colors embellished by the setting sun.  She inhaled
deeply of their fragrance, letting the resultant exhalation release the
pent-up tensions of the evening. She watched as the last rays of
sunlight disappeared below the horizon.

As the daylight faded, so did the sharpest edges of her hurt, and the
longer she sat there in the growing darkness, the more the pain eased. 
So he had other interests.  Why shouldn't he?  She could, too.  In fact,
she could have as many as she liked.  She thought about some of the
people she had met.  Many of them were very nice and some of them were
quite attractive.  She began spinning off daydreams as one of her
father's songs echoed in her head.  Humming it softly, her eyes closed,
she imagined dancing with them one by one.  When she finally opened her
eyes again, she was surprised to find that the moon had risen and the
garden was now bathed in its luminous glow. 

******

Ben'sar could see she had beaten him there after Killeen had dropped him
off. She was already sitting in the small garden where they had agreed
to meet and he felt his body tense inside as the feelings he had for her
threatened to overcome him again.

The color of her hair looked slightly different tonight as he approached
her, but he chalked that up to a trick of the moon light. 

Since she had still not noticed he was coming towards her, Ben'sar
decided to have a little fun with her. He knew she couldn't *hear* his
steps, but a little kiss on the lips surely wouldn't cause any great harm...

Without giving it another thought, he moved to take the empty seat
beside her and then reached up to turn her head until their lips met.

Instantly he knew something was wrong. Different. He knew Ellie's kisses
well enough by now..... He pulled back, only slightly aware of the hands
pushing against him to look at the face of the woman in his arms... "Oh
gods... you're not Ellie."

*****

Eleanora hurried towards the garden where she'd agreed to meet Ben'sar. 
She was running late - and all due to that brother of hers!  She'd
originally been to eat with him, but when she went to meet him and tell
him of her alternate plans, Leonidas had been nowhere to be found. 
Inconsiderate, that's what it was.

She stopped just beyond the garden to straighten her hair and clothes. 
Oh drat, she thought, just then noticing a small grass stain on the
corner of her skirt.  Her face heated with the memory of how it had come
to be there.  Oh, how could she have been so foolish this afternoon?

<Because it felt good?>

Eleanora groaned in agreement with her dragon.  Felt way too good.  Too
good for her to think, too good for her to anything but enjoy.  But she
was not going to make the mistake again.  Really.  She meant it.

*Stop laughing, will you?*

Taking a deep breath to fortify herself, she stepped into the garden,
totally unprepared for what she saw.  Ben was kissing someone else.  Her
breath caught in a hard, painful lump directly in the center of her
chest and she could feel the prickle of tears in her eyelids.  A wave of
hurt washed over her, followed quickly by another emotion she couldn't
quite identify.  All of a sudden the lump in her chest melted and her
breath whooshed out of her in a pain-filled gasp.

*****
He *heard* a sound off to his right and turned his head to see Ellie
standing there. A look of horror and betrayal could be read clearly in
her golden eyes. She stood there staring at him and he could read the
accusation in her movements just as if she had spoken them aloud.

"Wait, Ellie love... It's not what you think," he got up and started to
go towards her. "I thought it was you. I swear... I saw her here and
where we were suppose to meet and thought it was you!"

Lia couldn't seem to feel her feet, so she remained on the bench,
fingers pressed to her burning lips, eyes fixated on Eleanora's shocked
face. 

Eleanora swallowed hard, backing away from Ben'sar.  She read the words
he spoke, but they didn't register.  Her eyes slid to Lia, sitting
silent on the stone bench.  Her palm itched with the sudden need to slap
the tramp and she took half a step forward before realizing her own
intent.  Horrified and confused, she stood stock still, her hands
clasped together to prevent their acting without her.

Ben'sar felt like a heel. He had promised never to hurt her, but like
his promise not to pressure her... he seemed to have broken the second
promise as well.

But it wasn't his fault! Damn it, the woman LOOKED like Ellie when he
saw her... and who'd have thought there would be two women who looked
almost the same in the Warren!

"Ellie, please... you have to see this was a mistake!" he cried softly
and began walking towards her holding his hands out in front of him
meaning to take hers to make her see what he was saying. Surely she
wouldn't refuse him the chance to explain!

Eleanora's hands broke free of their white-knuckled clasp and clenched
into fists, even as a distant part of her mind tried to point out the
reasonable course of action.  The fury that ran through her, however,
wanted no reason.  It wanted vengeance.  How DARE that woman kiss her
Ben? How DARE he kiss her back?  

"A mistake...," she ground out hoarsely. "Yes, a mistake."

"Talk to me please, love....  Tell me what you're feeling right now...,"
he begged even as he feared the worst. He knew if she would just talk to
him, he could get her to understand that it really *had* been only a
mistake on his part. "I have to know you can forgive me for making an
honest mistake!"

She just stood there glaring at him.


"Look... she doesn't mean anything to me... I swear... you're the one I
love!" He insisted. "You're the one I want to be with... I didn't even
know her so what would I be doing kissing her when I have you? I thought
it was you sitting there!"

Eleanora bit her lip as the rage threatened to pour forth. She took in a
shaky breath and reminded herself that she was a creature of reason. 
Rational, you are rational.  It didn't work.

"I couldn't possibly know what you were doing.  All I know is what I
saw.  You CLAIM you thought it was me.  How COULD you?" Her normally
soft voice rose nearly to a shriek.

In response to her friend Eleanora's pain, Lia finally found her voice. 
"I don't know him, either, Eleanora," she insisted.  "And I don't even
want to."  She threw a fierce glare of her own Ben'sar's way, before
returning her gaze to Eleanora.  "I certainly wasn't kissing him.  He
kissed me."

"I was NOT kissing her! Not intentionally anyway," he turned to throw
the girl an angry look as if telling her to but out of it, then he
turned his black eyes back to look warmly at Ellie. "I *thought* I was
kissing you.... I saw someone I *thought* was YOU sitting here and... I
kissed her.... But I swear I thought it was you...!!"

Eleanora jumped on the first part of Ben's statement.  "You sure as hell
were kissing her, so don't lie to me!  And you," she whirled on Lia, her
eyes snapping with anger, "it didn't seem you were doing anything to
stop him." 

"But I did, Eleanora."  Lia could hardly believe she was having to
defend herself when she had been the one assaulted.  "I tried to push
him away." 

"Like hell you did!" Ben'sar glared at Lia again. "I was the one who
ended it when I figured out you weren't Ellie! I sure didn't feel you
trying to push me away!" 

Eleanora sputtered furiously, too enraged to form coherent words.

"No, you were too caught up in kissing me, you cad!" Lia countered,
putting more distance between herself and Ben'sar. 

"If I was caught up kissing anyone you can be damn sure it wasn't you!"
Benny scoffed. "I'm sorry to say but kissing you was almost like kissing
a fish. How do you think I knew so quickly it wasn't Ellie I was
kissing.... She is a wonderful kisser. She knows how to enjoy the act as
well as feel the emotion. Ellie is the only one I would even want to
kiss. You were enjoying it until I pulled away.... I bet I'll have the
bruises on my arms tomorrow to prove it!" 

Eleanora stared at the bickering duo, heart pounding.  The rage that had
mastered her was unforeseen and confusing, and trying to make sense out
of it all with these two sniping at each other was irritating, to say
the least.  Goaded beyond her capacity for endurance, she snapped.  Her
fist shot out in a neat arc, nailing Ben just as her brother had done
earlier.  Thankfully, it was the other eye.  "SHUT UP!"

Lia felt as if she'd been slapped.  While she hadn't wanted to kiss him
either, it was hardly flattering to be told you were a terrible kisser. 
She stood rooted to the ground before the overwhelming accumulation of
the evening's pain erupted out of her in a keening cry and rush of
tears.  Whirling, she raced out of the garden, stumbling blindly through
the flower beds, swiping furiously at the flood streaming down her face. 
 
The combination of the pain in her hand and Lia's cry was enough to jolt
Eleanora to her senses.  She stared after her fleeing, sobbing friend in
dismay.  Oh hell, what had she done? Her own eyes brimmed with tears of
shame.  She spun on her heel to leave the garden.
 

Submitted by:

Barb Matthews (aka Ben'sar and Killeen)

and

Dana Zuhlke (aka Lia)

and 

Katrina Gischer (aka Eleanora and Cara)

Whitriver Warren