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*Analise and N'lin*
+Evening, Day 2, the party+
 
Settling back to listen while N'lin played, Analise began to unwind.  The
wine was flowing freely and before she really realized what was going on,
Analise was drunk.  The musicians were all playing so well, and obviously
they didn't need her direction, her daughter had taken care of all the
warren problems, and the wedding had gone off without a hitch, so, why
not celebrate?  Then N'lin had begun to play.  His songs touched a deep,
hidden place within the studiously cold woman; a place that hadn't been
touched in years.  He sang of a love that was so deep and so timeless. 
His pure voice filling the empty place within her heart.
 
She had seen N'lin dancing earlier with several young women.  He had
danced quite well, she'd noticed.  And then there he was... he'd finished
his solo and the other musicians were playing again.  He was searching
for someone, and in her state, Analise assumed he'd been searching for
her.  Before he could react, she was there, in his arms, pulling him onto
the dance floor.
 
The music was perfect and N'lin did indeed dance divinely.
 
N'lin gaped in astonishment as the tall, blond woman stumbled her way
into his arms and half bullied him onto the dance floor.  He clung to her
ackwardly, shifting her to the proper shoulder as her feet scuffed across
the floor more or less in time with the music.  Out of danger of tripping
over his drunken partner's toes, he got his first good look at her face,
and promptly choked on his own spittle.  Analise! 
 
Coughing and gasping, he looked desperately around for some place to
gently dump her, but they were inconveniently in the exact middle of the
crowded dance floor.
 
"You all right, Nlin?" she asked, clinging all the tighter as he
struggled to catch his breath again.
 
"Fine," he wheezed after a moment, trying to steer them unsuccessfully
towards a wall.  "Just fine.  Would you like something to drink?"  
 
"N...no..s..sthannnks,"  Analise slurred and then giggled, "I think,  I
think.. mmm... I've had 'nough."  She smiled blurrily up into his face. 
She attempted a fancy step to the changing music, and promptly twisted
over, hurting her ankle, and putting all her weight into N'lin's arms.
 
N'lin staggered, knees bending in surprise and nearly dropped her as one
of her floundering knees smashed into his groin.   When the agony
diminished to the point that the rest of the world could intrude on his
senses, he found himself on one side of a teetering triangle with
Analise. She swayed unsteadily on one foot, face half buried in his neck,
collar bone to collar bone with him.
 
For a moment he just stood there, gasping for breath, content to breath
in her sweaty, alcoholic smell until he was fairly certain his knees were
not going to buckle.  Grunting in pain, N'lin wrapped his arm around her
waist and the pair of them limped and minced off the dance floor, to the
amusement of several onlookers--including one delighted warrenlady.
 
Attempting to lower the besotted woman into a nearby chair, N'lin found
himself pulled down with her. His groan brought an immediate contrite
response from Analise. "Oh, you poor dear.. I didn't do any damage now
did I?"  She commented as she attempted to pat the offended male parts. 
His flushed face stirred her to comment further in a rather loud voice,
"ah, you've nothing to be ashamed about there -- in fact compared to
others ...." But her further comments were lost as her mind flashed back
to another man who had once held her thusly.  The sudden memory of
Merissa's father was sharp and unexpected.
 
N'lin watched her expression change to something pained and lost and was
forcefully reminded of his mother.  The two of them looked nothing alike,
but the look on Analise's face... He has seen the same on his mother's
sometimes when she looked at his father, a sad anger at life and love
gone so horribly wrong, of expectations and hopes beat to dust until she
had stopped dreaming and settled for surviving.
 
Sympathy moved him unexpectedly, and he suddenly decided that he was
going to take Analise home before she cost both of them anymore of their
dignity.
 
Gently, he touched her shoulder, and watched her jump and sway in
startlement.  He got to his feet with a wince and pulled her up onto her
good leg.  "I think," he grunted as he put his arm around her and took
most of her weight as she leaned his way.  "I think it's time for you to
go home, Analise." 
 
"Home," she murmured with a drunken, wistful smile.
 
Sighing, N'lin pointed them in the right direction, and they hobbled out
the door.  They made it about half way across the green before they had
to make a stop for her to throw up.  He held her hair back from her face
like any good friend, trying not to add his dinner to hers.  He was
feeling the effects of the drink just from being so physically close to
her and found it more than a little uncomfortable.
 
After a few more minutes of dry heaving, Analise eventually straightened
up--as well as she could anyways--and they proceeded slower than ever. 
He was practically carrying her when they finally reached her apartment. 
Akwardly opening the door, he dragged her inside and into her bedroom. 
N'lin dropped her into the bed, wiping the sweat from his eyes, and had
no trouble fending off her attempt to pull him into the bed with her. 
Her knee had already banished any possible desire for sex, at least for
tonight that is.
 
Bidding her a quiet goodnight, N'lin covered her with a light blanket and
shut the door behind him.  It was a long, painful walk home.
___________________
*N'lin*
+Day 3, the Crash+
 
Oh, gods.
 
N'lin's whole being flinched as he watched it happen.  Disaster born on a
sparkling jade earthbound spiral.  He knew as surely as his dragon knew,
even as Trefoil dove like a creature with a death wish, they could do
nothing but watch gravity work it's deadly magic.
 
He cast out his mind to Nephrititi, and nearly panicked himself as the
emotions in the green decided to tag along.  Startled, he tried to shut
them out, attempting to focus in on the queen and failed, nearly losing
the feel of her entirely.  Fear swamped him, coming in from all sides,
indistinguishable except for Neph's and his own. 
 
He doggedly refused to shield, fighting a silent battle for control and
losing.  Doom, doom, doom, the agonizing wait for impact, terror slivered
with despairing hope.  Hope that brightened briefly as the queen's
descent began to slow as voices he really didn't hear shouted out
instructions.
 
Gods, was it enough?
 
"Let it be enough," N'lin breathed.  He knew his students wished the same
by the faint breath of prayer skittering across their fear  Tinobal.  A
sudden sharp recollection of antiseptic halls filled with the same
horrible desolate pleading, hopeless hope, prayers, death's herald in
that place. 
 
His hands spasmed in fierce, powerless denial, even as his heart pounded
thunder in his chest.  His fear, their fear, adrenaline making him
dangerously hypersensitive, a step away from losing himself in the
maelstrom.  He ignored the annoying little voice silently screaming at
him to shield  and clung all the tighter to the feel of the little queen,
shoulders aching in sympathy with hers.
 
Seconds and Nephrititi would meet the earth, ready or not.  N'lin gauged
her speed and desperately hoped his eyes weren't lying.  It looked like
she had a good chance of making it.  Time already slowed stretched
unbearably, each breath a century, each heartbeat a year.  Fear crested,
a wave cresting with the tension in the warren and it fell, drowning him,
dissolving him, washing away borders between himself and the world. 
 
Pain, impact.  He seized it, gathered himself around it, and managed to
get himself together again.  N'lin willed his eyes to see again and his
feet moved towards the tumbling queen.  Necessity forced him to distance
from Neph's pain.  But he kept the touch, enough to know that she was
still quite alive when she passed out and finally came to a stop.
 
<I called for the dragonhealer,> Trefoil said. 
 
<Thank you.  It isn't your fault you know,> N'lin offered as he joined
the fringes of the small circle of trainees around the queen and her
weeping rider.
 
<You're a fine one to talk.>
 
N'lin let that slide as Abbien broke through the crowd and knelt beside
Nephrititi's limp form.  He stepped into the inner circle and stopped
when the healer snapped, "Everyone get back."  He did just that and let
her do her thing; he knew when he was out of his depth.
 
----------Insert Abby's part in Barb's "That's Why Dragon's Have
Wings"-------
 
N'lin watched Abby leave once everything was under control to get some
help moving the little queen out of the sun.  He forced himself to face
the rest of his class, the ones who weren't with Lia anyways.  Forcing
the words out was hard, but it was also necessary.
 
<You're stalling.>
 
<Shut up, Foil.  What if we screw up again?>
 
<We won't,> Trefoil answered.  N'lin shied off, he could have crushed
rocks with that tone.
 
He swallowed, moistening  fear dried tissues and looked at the sorry
remnants of his group.  "Go eat lunch.  We'll meet back here in," his
eyes flicked towards the sun, judging the light, "an hour and a half. 
All right?"
 
They nodded and  left.  Foil confirmed that he had relayed the order to
all of the hatchlings, barring Neph.  N'lin acknowledged absently, and
wondered what he had done wrong as he watched Lia fret over her dragon,
unwilling to leave though there was nothing he could do.
 
--------Snip from Chris's "All in a Day's Work"------------
 
'Tonio wanted to aid in comforting Lia, but right now was not the time,
perhaps later in the day, when things had settled down a bit.  Looking
over, he saw his wingmate, N'lin, with a forlorn look on his face.  The
man looked as though he was suffering from a crisis of conscience. 
Walking over to the trainer, he smiled at him, "N'lin, come take a walk
with me."
 
N'lin continued to fixate on the scene, "But…"
 
'Tonio gripped his shoulder and began leading him away, "You need some
distance from the situation before you deal with it, my friend.  Beating
yourself up over what happened isn't going to help."
 
Reluctantly, N'lin went with 'Tonio, occasionally looking back over his
shoulder to watch as Neph was taken to the healer's tent.  'Tonio guided
him to the dining hall, which was empty save for a few people.  Motioning
the trainer to sit, the Knight took a seat opposite him, "Now that we've
got some distance from the situation, let's talk.  Tell me what
happened."
 
------------end snip----------------
 
N'lin sighed and slouched back, the strength seemed to leech from his
muscles with the last of the adrenaline.  He didn't want to talk about
it.  What he wanted was a cup of his mothers mint tea like she had made
for him after a rough night in his father's bedroom.  He moistened his
dry lips and dispelled the desire.  He wasn't moving, it would be rude to
ask 'Tonio, and he still didn't much feel like talking. 
 
His mouth twitched, in a grin or a grimace he wasn't sure, as a voice out
of memory scolded his yearning for silence.  His fingers absently turned
one of the beaded leather bands around his wrists, feeling the raised
scar tissue it covered, the reason for the lectures.  Latnem, or maybe
Peritin, it hardly mattered, he'd known all the mindhealers at Tinobal,
they had all sounded the same.  'Talk to me, N'lin,' they had all said. 
'It doesn't get any better until you acknowledge it; we can't help until
we know, so talk.'
 
N'lin considered 'Tonio's patient face across the table and decided to
follow the memory's advice.  He gathered his wandering, weary thoughts
and told.  While more in depth than what he had told Abbien, it still was
a short, sorry little tale that left him feeling ashamed and responsible
for the outcome.  Feelings that were echoed by his listening dragon.
 
"It's no one's fault, N'lin," 'Tonio said after a time.  "Certainly not
yours.  If anything, it was Nephrititi's queenly stubbornness.  You were
trying to keep her from over doing it and she was caught up in the
moment.  You had good intentions, N'lin.  They do count, no matter what
people say.  This time, events just decided intent didn't count for as
much as it should've."
 
N'lin had the uncomfortable sensation that he was back in Tinobal with
Latnem or Peritin or even his beloved Shasta staring at him with that
eerie soul piercing, secret robbing yet compassionate gaze instead of
'Tonio.  His fingers toyed with the bands on his wrist again as he
formulated his answer.  He had played this game before, he knew a
response was expected, and, in a way, deserved.  A part of him had taken
a small comfort from his partners words, but not to the extent that
'Tonio no doubt hoped for. 
 
"I suppose you're right," N'lin sighed when the silence has stretched
uncomfortably long.  "But I'm still her trainer, and I was in charge, so
the responsibility  falls on me."  'Tonio opened  his mouth, and N'lin
forestalled him with a small smile.  "That doesn't mean I don't hope a
certain dragon didn't learn a lesson about obeying orders the first time
they're given."
 
'Tonio smiled, a smile which widened slightly as his eyes focused
somewhere beyond N'lin's shoulder.  N'lin turned around in his chair and
the smile dropped instantly from his face as he recognized the
warrenlady.
 
----------continue Chris's snip-------------
 
'Tonio stood and bowed, "Milady, I was expecting your arrival much
sooner. I take it you wish to speak with N'lin?"
 
Merissa nodded, "You would be correct, 'Tonio.  Lia is a little
distressed at the moment, which is why I am late.  Eleanora is with her
now, so she should be okay."
 
'Tonio smiled, "I am glad to hear it.  I shall leave you two to your talk
then," he said with a bow before turning to smile at N'lin reassuringly.
That being done, he exited the dining hall, making a beeline for the
healers.
 
---------------end snip---------------
 
N'lin managed a weary, nervous smile for Merissa as she took 'Tonio's
seat across from him.  "So," she said after a moment.  "What happened?"
 
"Didn't Lia already tell you?"  He hoped she had, and blamed it all on
him in the process, but at the same time, he really didn't want to be
reamed out by the warrenlady either.
 
"Some," her voice was surprisingly gently.  "More from some of the
others.  I want to hear what you have to say about it, though.  You are
in charge of them."
 
He winced a little at the reminder, but didn't hesitate like he had with
'Tonio.  He told her, word for word, the same thing he had told 'Tonio
and, noticing that Merissa seemed to be waiting for more, he added that
the first flights would resume in about an hour, after lunch.
 
She nodded with approval.  "Good.  Gotta get back on that horse after
all.  At least the rest of them will be a bit more cautious, anyway. 
Rare enough in hatchlings."  An ironic smile played across her lips.  "I
just hope this doesn't become the traditional way of instilling it."
 
"You aren't the only one, Merissa," he said, a smile flashing briefly in
his eyes.
 
She grinned and got up, making excuses to go check on Lia.  N'lin watched
her go before getting up to get some food and tea for a solitary early
lunch.  He was going to need his strength, even if the rest of the day
went well.
 
As he had hoped, the rest of the hatchlings first flights were
uneventful, with only some mildly tumbled landings.  By the end of the
session, most of the trainees were so ecstatic that the accident had
pretty much fled from their minds. 
 
<Well, at least it ended well,> Trefoil commented as N'lin dismissed the
class.
 
<Well enough.  How is Nephrititi?> N'lin asked.
 
<Ornery and sore, but, as you said, well enough.  Happy to be alive I
think.  She won't be flying for a while though.  Abbien examined her
while she was awake and it seems my willful daughter managed to badly
strain a few muscles.>
 
<Could've been worse.>
 
<So I've told her,> Foil said.  <She'll need extra lessons to catch up,
but since she's a queen it's not as urgent that she graduates with the
same level of skill as the rest.>
 
<I doubt she'll see it that way,> N'lin said.
 
<No, probably not.  She'll just have to work harder then.>
 
<She won't like that either.>  N'lin was glad he wouldn't on the direct
receiving end of the inevitable complaints.  Relayed conversation
occasionally had its perks.
 
<No, but she doesn't have to.>  There was a brief pause.  <And don't
worry, I'll make sure you hear everything Nephrititi has to say about our
training techniques.>
 
<Thanks bunches, Foil.>
 
<My pleasure.  Oh, Gwendalth and her rider also send their apologizes. 
You'll be happy to know that Gwendalth is feeling better, but won't be
able to attend tomorrows training session.  I've already conveyed your
complete understanding and hopes for her recovery.  Now that that's out
of the way, go eat and go to bed, you're exhausted.>
 
N'lin was too tired to argue and did as his dragon commanded.  That night
he dreamt of Tinobal.  Antiseptic halls with gaping holes in the ceilings
and rents in the floors where young dragons had fallen through to their
deaths.  The carcasses tripped him as he fled the howling mindhealers,
running from their piercing brown eyes as garbled prayers filled his head
with phantom voices and corpses grabbed at him from doorways.  It was not
a restful night.
__________________
+Jumpity Jump Jump, and Day 35+
 
Mercifully, there were no more heart stopping events on the training
green and N'lin thanked the gods for it at the end of every day.  When
Nephrititi recovered sufficiently from her injuries to resume flying,
N'lin's days became twice as busy with long lessons with the queen before
and after the regular class.  He felt rather sorry for Lia, who got the
brunt of Neph's temper as he and Trefoil rushed her through the lessons
she had missed and reviewed the one's she had attended but had been
unable to perform.
 
And last night had been the last of the make-up lessons, thank all the
gods above.  He had even managed to get to bed early, helped by the glass
of wine he had permitted himself in a very small toast at the end of the
short session.  He had deserved it and so had Lia, so long as she didn't
drink the rest of the bottle in one sitting anyway.
 
He woke up before dawn out of habit, and felt, for the first time in some
weeks, refreshed.  Smiling, he put on his heavy duty gardening clothes,
grabbed his tools, and set out for Trinale's garden.  It was the perfect
time, especially with the added light from Tinker's lamps.  All the
lovers would be indoors by now and no one else was about, the perfect
time to get down and get dirty pulling weeds. 
 
N'lin clucked in disapproval as he looked about the garden.  He knew he
was the only one who tended it, but he was mildly annoyed that the place
had nearly gone to weed since his last visit weeks ago.  Sighing, he
dropped to his knees right there in the main path and got to work in the
soft glow of the gas lamps.
 
When his dragon yelled at him that he was going to be late if he didn't
get moving, N'lin was happy enough to comply.  He had set to rights the
major paths and grottos and, as much as he loved gardening, the knees and
fingers could only take so much at one time.  Stripping off his gloves,
he climbed to his feet, the box of gardening tools in one hand, and
started home.
 
He made it halfway out of the garden before gravity decided to switch
directions on him.  His free hand flailed about, looking for something
solid to hold on to, and found the ground has he dropped to his knees. 
His beloved flower beds skewed, tilted, smeared psychedelically and he
shut his eyes.  The world continued to reel, but it was better, in a
small way, not to have to watch it do it.  Then, as suddenly as
everything had gone awry, everything resumed it's proper order and place.
 
N'lin opened his eyes, and calmed his ragged breathing as he picked up
the tools he couldn't remember dropping.  "Musta gotten up too fast back
there," he muttered to himself, even as a little voice reminded him that
this hadn't been the first time, just the worst.  He shrugged it off
almost angrily, he'd been working hard after all, and carefully got back
onto his feet.  He paused for a moment, waiting for something to happen. 
When nothing did, he continued on his way.
 
N'lin returned to find Trefoil's bed empty and did a quick mental check
to see where he was.  He backed off in a hurry as Foil began to tear into
his freshly caught breakfast.  He looked at his spotless kitchen as he
walked back to the bedroom and decided to forgo breakfast this morning. 
The thought of last night's fish, or any food for that matter, was
positively nauseating.  A shower and a shave, on the other hand, sounded
divine.  Tossing his tools into the closet, N'lin went to get ready for
the rest of his day.
______________
+Around Dinner, Day 35+
 
N'lin dismissed his class at the end of the day, pleased with their
progress, and started off towards the dining hall to avoid Foil's
scoldings for not eating all day.  He wasn't in the least bit hungry, but
knew that he should probably eat something. 
 
<Anything new going on?> he asked his dragon as he meandered along.
 
<Actually yes, Maxima and her rider are back from Tinobal.>
 
<That's good, I'm sure Maxima is glad to be back at any rate,> N'lin
remarked, remembering how glad Trefoil had been to be among dragons
again.
 
<Very, though they weren't gone as long as we were,> Foil said, following
his rider's unspoken thought.  <But that's not the interesting part, it
seems they brought along a friend.>
 
<Really,> N'lin said.  He was having a little trouble picturing flighty
Xanthia enchanting some fellow enough to follow her here.  He stepped
into the dining hall and began weaving his way towards the food.
 
<Not that sort of friend, you dolt, a mutual friend of ours, Latnem.>
 
N'lin sank into the nearest chair, blind to any other occupants of the
table, as his knees threatened to buckle from the shock.
 
<Latnem?  Latnem, the mindhealer, here?>
 
<I thought you'd be pleased,> Foil said, his distress at his rider's
dismay obvious.  <You liked him well enough when we were at Tinobal.>
 
N'lin leaned forward and put his head in his hands, trying to get a grip
on himself.  <That's not the point, Trefoil.  Nice guy or not, he
*knows*.  He knows I'm an empath and he knows about my past and he knows
I killed  my father, and about my suicide attempts, and probably about me
and Shasta as well.  And I don't want anyone else to know!>
 
<All right, all right, now calm down will you?> Trefoil soothed.  <If you
don't go to the Med center anytime soon, you should be fine, right?>
 
<I guess your->
 
"Are you all right, N'lin?"
 
N'lin squeezed his eyes shut in wordless denial as he recognized the
voice.  With a shuddering breath, he forced himself to smile and meet
Lantem's concerned eyes.
 
<I guess this isn't your lucky day,> Foil murmured, and held his peace
after N'lin's warning mental  growl.
 
"I-I'm fine. Just jammed my toe and thought I'd better sit down before I
ran into something.  Didn't expect to see you here, Latnem."  The lie
slid smoothly off his tongue, and then he noticed the other occupant of
the table.  N'lin blinked in surprise at her rounded belly, eyes flicking
between her and the mindhealer, recalling his own forbidden liaison at
Tinobal.  "Welcome back, Xanthia," he managed before his nerve crumbled
all together. 
 
He stood up abruptly, backing away as he made his excuses.  "I'll just
leave you two- ummf!"  He crashed into someone behind him, and choked
back a startled yelp of agony.  Liquid fire ran down his arm as dishes
shattered on the ground.  He tasted blood in his mouth from his bitten
tongue and staggered around, trying not to touch his burning, coffee
dripping arm to see who he had hit.
______________
 
NRPG: Ok, that would be a tag to Morgie and whomever else is willing. 
Big hunk of time missing in the middle so feel free to bug him during the
rest of the day. Sorry that so much of this is back post, but tying up
loose ends is alsways nice too.  I think I got everything in it's correct
order.  Thanks also to Arlene for doing Analise and for making sure I got
everything. :)
 
--Bridget
aka N'lin and Trefoil.


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