Day 3, evening



Eleanora staggered slightly as the keening reverberated through her

skull.  A dragon lost, she sighed sadly.



<Who is lost, Cara?>



There was a longish pause as Cara tried to decide whether Chrysthal’s

orders still applied. <It’s..it’s Ben’sar and Killeen.>



Eleanora didn’t respond, simply climbed aboard and dully directed Cara

to take her home.



Once on the ledge, she dragged herself off Cara’s back, every step

taking a supreme effort of will.  Her leaden feet propelled her only as

far as the couch where she collapsed.  She should check on Abby, she

should get a message off to Telnor, she should…she should…



Her eyes were caught by the sight of Ben’s shirt lying where he had

carelessly dumped it on the couch.  In another lifetime Eleanora vaguely

recalled nagging him to pick up after himself.  It had never worked and

she automatically picked the shirt up. It was probably dirty – she held

it closer for a sniff test and her nose was filled with his scent.



Ben… Her mind faltered the thought – he wasn’t coming back.  A teleport

gone wrong – no destination firmly in mind… it had been firmly drilled

into their heads at training, if you didn’t know where you were

‘porting, you wouldn’t make it back.  Ben was gone, she needed to attend

to those details.



Numbly she pulled the shirt on around her. She should see to Abby – the

second brother gone, she’d need Eleanora now, their parents at Telnor,

they’d need to know… Eleanora wrapped her arms around herself and

silently rocked back and forth as her mind circled wearily.  She should

do…something.



She should feel something.



*******



Day 4, afternoon



<snip>

After having a late lunch, 'Tonio set back off towards his apartment,

passing by Eleanora's in the process.  Making a detour, he saw that the

door leading in was slightly ajar.  "Hello?"



 Silence was his only response.  Preparing himself for possible

conflict, 'Tonio pushed open the door and stepped in...

<end snip>



Eleanora sat crosslegged in the center of her couch and rocked back and

forth.  Dimly she was aware that Cara was worried, that there were

things she needed to do, but all she could manage was to sit and try to

make herself feel something – anything.



'Tonio walked in, moving so that Eleanora could see him.  It took her

several moments before she looked up and saw, barely registering his

existence.  She continued to look at him, and he saw the grief and

confusion in her eyes.  Moving his hands, he began to 'speak', "Milady,

you do not look very well.  Might I bring you some food or something to

drink?"



Eleanora gazed helplessly at ‘Tonio.  She understood his words, she just

seemed unable to muster a response.  She sighed finally and shrugged.

What did it matter, after all?



'Tonio shook his head.  She had already dug herself deep into grief.  He

continued to sign, "Milady, please talk to me.  It is important that you

stay in contact with the outside.  Do not succumb to your grief."



Talk? Eleanora frowned. What was there to talk about? There were no

words that would bring Ben back to her.  Her hands slowly unwrapped

themselves from around her arms.   *What do you want me to say?*



*That is a start, Eleanora,* 'Tonio responded in kind, *so long as

you're talking.  I am here to help, as is the rest of the warren.   I

want you to know that you are not alone in your grief.*  'Tonio had

talked with people dealing with death, but his signing was limited in

scope, but he hoped he could convey his feelings accurately.



*No, of course not,* she signed, her fingers moving listlessly, *Abby

will be sad, too.  And Ben’s parents – I need to tell them.*  Despite

her words, though, Eleanora made no move to get up.



'Tonio took a deep breath, hating himself for what he had to do next.

Bringing his open hand back, he swung forward, slapping Eleanora across

her face.  Looking at her, he moved his lips so she could read them,

"Snap out of this Eleanora."



It was probably the first time anyone had ever hit her.  Eleanora reared

back in surprise and without really pausing to analyze did the first

thing that came to mind – she hit back.  With Cara’s low growl as

background, Eleanora’s fist shot out in an ineffective, if accurate,

punch to the jaw. “What the hell are you doing?!” she demanded.



Eleanora's fist connected squarely with 'Tonio's chin, knocking him back

slightly.  He rubbed his chin, looking at Eleanora, who was now fully

cognizant.  Moving his hands again, he spoke, *Effective communication,

milady.  You weren't responding to anything else.*



Eleanora stared angrily at ‘Tonio, her cheek still stinging.  Slowly the

truth of  the knight’s words penetrated and with that the reason for her

fugue. Lip trembling, she swallowed hard. Her eyes drifted downward as

she tried to regain control – if she started crying now, the gods only

knew how she’d stop.  “Yes, well..uh.. I’m fine now.  Thank you for

coming, I…uh.. I’ll let you know if I need anything else.”



'Tonio gazed at her, "You shouldn't bottle it up, milady.  The first

step to healing is to let go."



With a wordless howl, Eleanora dropped her head into her heads, weeping

heartbrokenly.  Her shoulders shook as the grief tore through her and

Cara’s low cry echoed her pain.



'Tonio silently gathered the grief-stricken Eleanora into his arms,

holding her close as sobs wracked her frame.  He slowly sat down on the

bed, helping her to do the same, stroking her hair gently, comforting

her as best as he knew how.



Eleanora clutched ‘Tonio’s shirtfront and burrowed deeper into the

circle of his arms, blindly seeking whatever comfort she could.  Sobs

racked her slender frame as her body tried to purge itself of the pain

she’d awakened to.  The tears gradually gave way to shuddery, hiccupping

breaths as she collapsed against his chest, utterly spent.



'Tonio continued to stroke her hair, continuing his efforts to soothe

Eleanora's frayed nerves.  He saw her look up at him and he mouthed, "As

long as you need," indicating that he had some time at his disposal.



Eleanora nodded and leaned against him.  The crying fit had passed,

leaving her exhausted and feeling hollow inside – but it was still

better than the frightening numbness. She sighed heavily and snuggled

closer, shutting her eyes for just a moment to gain the strength to deal

with Ben’s being gone.  In seconds, she was asleep.



'Tonio waited for a few minutes, feeling Eleanora's breathing become

regular.  Lifting the lady into his arms, he walked slowly over to her

bedroom and laying her gently upon it.  Grabbing a blanket from the foot

of the bed, he covered her with it, nodding in satisfaction.  Taking a

final look, 'Tonio tiptoed out of the room, closing the door behind him.



***********



Submitted by:



Chris Weeda aka ‘Tonio



and



Katrina Gischer aka Eleanora